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Secret to naps!

(25 Posts)
Tabitha1983 Sun 29-Jan-17 17:13:47

Arrgghhh.... anybody know the secret to napping success before my arms drop off?! Tips welcome pls 😉
12 week old baby will literally only nap if being held or pushed in pram! My arms are aching after a few days indoors due to terrible weather! He easily falls asleep either breastfeeding or with a dummy but wakes the second he is laid down!...despite swaddling 😕 Doesn't seem to be a problem at night tho?? Sleeps relatively well in snuzpod x

FartnissEverbeans Sun 29-Jan-17 17:20:59

Mine is the same so watching this thread closely! He'll go down in his cot at night by not during the day.

ElphabaTheGreen Sun 29-Jan-17 17:23:42

Perfectly normal. The solution is just let baby sleep on you (obvious, but honestly the most effective). 10 minutes before nap is due, line up snacks and a drink for you, queue up something good on Netflix then BF to sleep and have a lovely rest. Use a BF pillow to save your arms. Your baby will nap better and be far more put-downable when awake so you can do any bits of housework then.

I spent the entirety my first mat leave trying to get DS1 to nap in a cot, bouncy chair or non-moving pram. I was miserable. After intensive preliminary attempts with bouncy chair/swaddle/dummy with DS2, I wondered what the fuck I was doing and just let him nap on me, with the above 'comfort measures' in place...which mat leave do you think I look back on more fondly?

icklekid Sun 29-Jan-17 17:27:14

Not always possible if looking after 2 dc at same time. With ds1 we cuddled for naps for 6 months. This time I can't so as soon as dd drops off I put her down. White noise on, dummy in, blanket wrapped around (so no cold sheet) and she stays asleep mostly.

Sunshinegirl82 Sun 29-Jan-17 17:58:08

You could try a sleepyhead? Pricy but the only way our ds would countenance being put down!

Tabitha1983 Sun 29-Jan-17 20:04:06

Hi everyone! Yes I have a sleepyhead so maybe that's why he's happier at night? Or is it the dark and I have a white noise machine? I haven't actually tried to put him up there for naps as I have DD1 (3) so it doesn't quite feel right really to have him out of sight up in the bedroom.
I agree it's so much nicer just to put your feet up and enjoy the cuddles etc but I just worry as he's getting bigger is this going to even be possible?? At least when he was tiny I could hold him and still have a hand free....now need both arms!...And also it is hard to look after toddler properly with baby asleep in my arms.
I'm just so amazed at how 'deeply asleep' he seems yet as soon as I put him down his eyes spring open and that's it!! It's so frustrating! Even in the pram the second we get home and the wheels stop turning that's it lol! X

60percentofthetime Sun 29-Jan-17 20:16:12

My DS2 has only just started napping in his cot at nearly 6 months. He suddenly just did it last week after months of trying. DS1 and I just watched a lot of CBeebies and films!

Sunshinegirl82 Sun 29-Jan-17 20:16:41

I used to bring the sleepyhead down and put it on the floor or next to me on the sofa and put him down in it for naps. If he's used to white noise could you download an app onto your phone and try putting it next to him? Might help a bit?

spacepoodle Sun 29-Jan-17 20:22:45

Can you get a video monitor?

My baby was the same until around the same age. He is a big baby and I'm very petite. My body couldn't take another minute rocking/slinging/bouncing/jiggling so I decided to spend a week at home implementing "the regime". Bought a video monitor and 10 minutes before I knew naptime was due I did what I did at nightime i.e. swaddle, curtains closed, white noise, dummy and reinsert dummy etc. After much perseverance it worked and I can now potter about the house watching him on the monitor. Now if only he would nap for more than 30 minutes so I could actually use the time wisely!

FATEdestiny Sun 29-Jan-17 20:33:42

The key is not to put baby down. Get baby to go to sleep where he'll stay asleep.

- bouncy chair with releness bouncing
- in arms/sling and just leave baby there.

Beansprout30 Sun 29-Jan-17 20:34:19

How soon are you putting him down? Perhaps he's not quite in a deep enough sleep that you think he is, maybe hold him a little longer than normal then try?

Namechangeinto2017 Sun 29-Jan-17 20:40:56

Get a sling, my dc is the same will not sleep anywhere but on me or in the pram in the day.
My sling is a life saver if I need to do anything, although as pp have said I usually just binge watch netflix and enjoy the baby snuggles unless I absolutely have to move.

Tabitha1983 Sun 29-Jan-17 21:07:18

Thanks folks..,lots of ideas to try thanks 😊
I do have a camera monitor so maybe need to get it hooked up and get braver haha! Could then feed him to sleep in woombie and turn white noise on (which is what I do at night when we go to bed).
Fate I think you're right...it's the transfer that wakes him...the problem is he falls asleep breast feeding tho?...should I wake him up after feed and then put him in bouncer?? I fear he may not get back off to sleep?? And the last few days of me trying to put him down has resulted him far less sleep for him....and guess what...2 unsettled nights followed 😒

Tabitha1983 Sun 29-Jan-17 21:11:19

Any sling suggestions? I have an Ergo baby...it's ok.....don't find it overly comfortable tho 😕

fruityb Sun 29-Jan-17 21:13:59

My DS will some days and won't others lol. He's five months now and I decided that in the afternoon if he sleeps on me then I get comfy as said above. I have the remote controls with me, I have my coffee in a thermal mug so it stays warm, PS4 controller nearby, iPad whatever. Some days I can put him down on the sofa or in his cot, but others like yours he wakes up straightaway! I just roll with the punches now as it's not worth the stress and he's sleeping at least. I could put him in his cot at three months and he'd sleep all afternoon but that tailed off. There are some days he barely has any but still sleeps at night.

Kids are just weird lol

ElphabaTheGreen Sun 29-Jan-17 21:31:07

Best suggestion for a sling is to go to a sling meet/sling library near you. Different slings suit different people so you could try several and borrow before you buy. No one sling anyone suggests to you on here will be be a dead-set thing.

Always feed to sleep in a swaddle/Woombie if you're using one - I'm always perplexed when people try to swaddle once baby is asleep. Part of the benefit is that it deadens the startle reflex on transfer which is invariably what would wake both if mine.

One strategy that worked (howsoever briefly) for me was to make up a baby-bed on DS2's floor - I wrapped a padded changing mat in a fleece blanket so that he had a comfy surface. White noise blasting like an aeroplane descending on his head. Into swaddle. Blackout blind down. I lay down and fed him to sleep in situ. Swapped boob for dummy. Escaped like a Ninja.

I used to get a 20 minute exercise DVD done before he woke - he never went longer than half an hour when sleeping solo like this, even if I tried feeding back to sleep in situ again. This strategy lasted for all of about five weeks, then he was No Longer Fooled and rejected the dummy outright and forever, so it was back to sleeping on me for 1-2 hours at a stretch, on the boob, under a duvet, sniffing his head, eating shit and binge-watching Ru Paul's Drag Race on the iPad with earphones in. God it was lovely <wistful>

FATEdestiny Sun 29-Jan-17 22:14:37

You did an exercise DVD while baby napped Elphaba? Blimey, that puts my cup of tea and Father Brown on the TV to shame blushgrin

it's the transfer that wakes him...the problem is he falls asleep breast feeding tho?.

As mentioned above, swaddle before feeding can help deaden stimulation when being moved.

I actually go for the complete opposite route though. I don't do gently-gently-careful-not-to-wake-baby. I would feed until asleep (as will always happen, you can't not breastfeed to sleep at this age), but I take the falling asleep as a sign feed is over, now it's time for sleep. So falling asleep at the breast is a signal, not the nap itself.

When baby starts dropping asleep I remove nipple and lift baby to my shoulder to wind. A few minutes back rub then put baby in bouncer. Yes baby is now not asleep - because I want the 'getting to sleep' to happen in the bouncer.

I know very definately baby is ready for a sleep though. So I don't give up on getting baby to go to sleep in the bouncer. I know baby is fed, I know baby is tired. So into bouncer, dummy in (held in if needed) and relentless bouncing. Just keep bouncing and bouncing, dummy to stop any crying and keep going until baby does eventually drop off.

Then just leave baby in the bouncer once asleep. Perhaps the odd gentle bounce if ever stirring at all, but other than that leaving baby there.

ElphabaTheGreen Sun 29-Jan-17 22:50:11

'Twas all for nought when we resumed the chocolate-and-crap-food-fest that was co-slept naps, FATE grin If either of mine develop hearing problems in later life, the audiologist will find that it is due to the stale cake crumbs lodged firmly in their middle ears since babyhood.

cuddlebug Mon 30-Jan-17 00:11:51

I have a hairdryer app. I put him down, he starts crying because he is tired, put my hairdryer app on and leave it next to him (not too loud though) and give him a dummy. I go back 10 minutes later and he is fast asleep! It is called Instant Baby Sleep (on iPhone app, not sure if it is in Google Play). If anyone is interested! It also has other white noises on there such as a car, lullabies, etc xxx

Tabitha1983 Mon 30-Jan-17 07:41:34

Ok ladies thanks! I will start using woombie in the day too when I'm home. DH says I dont know what we will do when he out grows that straight jacket lol!! Good point tho 😕
He's useless at keeping dummy in...obvs not a massive fan..he sometimes refuses it full stop!...and other times takes it well but only sucks for 1-2 mins then it falls out + he cries! I'm using Mam dummies as recommended by breastfeeding nurse but thinking about buying some bigger cherry ended ones?? See if they stay in better?! X

Spottyladybird Mon 30-Jan-17 07:58:59

My DS is 10 weeks and have a DD who is 3! I use the sling for most naps. Means I can still do stuff with her and I'm not constantly worrying about the baby waking etc. She knows that sometimes I go for a walk round the house to settle him but then I'm all hers!!

fruityb Mon 30-Jan-17 10:27:08

DS wouldn't keep a dummy in either till about fhree to four months. Many was the night I slept with my hand in the Moses basket holding it in! We had Avent ones which were quite heavy so I got the tommytippee ones that are lighter and he gets on with those. Hearing it fall out of his mouth at night drove me to distraction lol. Once he learns how to put it back in himself I think my life will change forever lol

Tabitha1983 Mon 30-Jan-17 11:44:33

Same here lol! Once he has fallen asleep and dummy falls out that's fine...it's when he's 'falling asleep' and he drops it out that the crying starts! I too lean into snuzpod with my finger on dummy until he falls asleep!

FATEdestiny Mon 30-Jan-17 12:35:58

I swear by the cherry teat dummies because i think they stay in better. I should add that I breastfed, I think the whole "nipple confusion" things is mostly bull shit. As long as breastfeeding is established, use whichever dummy works.

Whatever you use though, you'll probably need to hold dummy in at first. This is not baby "not being a fan" of the dummy. It's just the baby being a baby (and a mum with unrealistic expectations)

Sucking is the soothing action to get to sleep. So the dummy is needed in the process of getting to sleep, not staying asleep. As baby is going to sleep their body relaxed, this includes the jaw muscles relaxing.

As their jaw relaxes, depending on the angle of the baby's mouth as they go to sleep, the dummy may fall out. But if the baby is still in the getting to sleep phase (rather than a deep sleep) the dummy drop will disturb baby.

This isn't baby not wanting the dummy. It's just baby being a normal human who's muscles relax when they relax. You just need to hold it in for baby, or angle head so it doesn't drop out.

Tabitha1983 Mon 30-Jan-17 20:51:40

Thanks Faye..I'm not a massive believer in the nipple confusion either...but at 12/13 weeks hopefully we established now anyway?!....off to buy some cherry teat dummies tomorrow!! X

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