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12 week old awake all night

(11 Posts)
Camperchick3 Fri 20-Jan-17 12:01:32

Help! My 12 week old is driving me slowly insane! During the day she is a dream- she feeds after a sleep (bf), she is awake for about an hour then shows sleepy cues, I put her in her cot and she falls asleep easily and sleeps for an hour. Sometimes there are variations where she might fall straight back to sleep after her feed or sleep for 2 hours instead of 1 but this is generally her daytime pattern. In the evening she has a bottle (we are trying to get her to take a bottle more reliably so that I can leave her with my partner sometimes but it doesn't always go smoothly!) when she wakes about 6pm, then she has a bath, massage, pjs and into her cot- again, she usually falls asleep easily like in the daytime but only stays asleep for an hour. After that she is difficult to settle and can stay awake til 4 or 5am most nights!! We have tried everything- keeping her in bed, getting her up and rocking her to sleep, repeatedly popping her dummy back in, getting up and treating it like a day nap and doing feed and play for an hour, ignoring her in the hope she goes back to sleep, etc! When she eventually does fall asleep she will sleep for a good 5hours, but often that means she isn't waking up until well into the morning. I've tried extending her awake periods in the day but it is physically impossible- she falls asleep even mid play! I'm not expecting her to sleep through the night as she is bf and still only 12 weeks but I just want her to sleep at all at night! Sometimes she is really chilled in the night and is just awake, other times she is grumpy and cries, but he most sleep she gets is little bits of dozing before she wakes up again.
I've trawled the internet for advice but all the common sleep issues don't apply- she can self soothe, she sleeps fine in her cot, she naps nicely in the day, she can go long periods without feeding...!
Any advice?!

MuseumOfCurry Fri 20-Jan-17 12:05:33

Poor you.

Is she gassy? Normally this happens in the evening rather than the middle of the night, but you say she's a dream during the day and difficult to settle at this time which to me sounds like normal 12 week gassiness.

Camperchick3 Fri 20-Jan-17 12:15:32

Nope dont think so- she's actually easier to burp in the evening and night as she doesn't fall asleep on the boob like she does in the day. This also isn't new behaviour- she has been like this for weeks and weeks! The daytime napping has fallen into a bit of a pattern since Christmas whereas before it was more random but being awake all night has always been a problem. As I say, sometimes she's grumpy in the night and may be gassy etc but a lot of the time she's just awake! Last night she was clearly really tired- her eyes were barely open and she kept dropping her dummy and crying because it was waking her up, but she just couldn't quite tip over into sleep

FATEdestiny Fri 20-Jan-17 14:09:02

Can you feed her lying down? I am wondering about lying her next to you with free access to boob (and dummy close by if you need a break) so she can stay where she is when she is full, without being moved.

Camperchick3 Fri 20-Jan-17 14:13:24

I don't feel comfortable having her in the bed as i suffer from night terrors so prefer her to be safely in her cot! Also I don't think she's hungry, it's not like she's falling asleep and then waking for a feed, she just doesn't drop off to sleep. Also I often offer the boob to see if that's why she's awake and she doesn't want it so don't think it's hunger. I feel like she has all the skills and ingredients to be able to sleep (happy in her cot, self soothes, etc) but I feel like I must be doing something that's putting a block in the way

FATEdestiny Fri 20-Jan-17 14:41:54

Its fine, you don't need to defend your decision not to cosleep. I'm not a cosleeping fan either. I was just suggesting it as a sanity saver for you.

How about a cosleeper cot (not crib - a full sized cot)? You can remove one side off any normal cotbed and wedge it up to your bed. You can then sort of lean into the cot, settle from the comfort of your own bed, even breastfeed in there (if you want). But crucially you can extract yourself afterwards and keep yours and baby's sleeping space separate.

At 12 weeks for SIDS guidelines, baby would be continuing to nap downstairs until I go to bed. So I'd do similar to you - do bedtime routine at any awake time between 6-7pm. Then feed, out baby down for another sleep.

But then I wouldn't necessarily expecting a long sleep at that point. Evening cluster feeding is not unusual so after an hour if baby woke, I'd breastfeed baby on sofa while watching TV in the evening. Baby may doze on and off. I'd put back down for another nap if fully asleep but also not sweat needing to feed on and off all evening until I go to bed. It's just an age-thing at 3-4 months, this cluster feeding and unsettled evening. Its not a permanent thing.

Then I'd go to bed, and that would be when I'd aim to snuggle into the cosleeper cot with the dummy to properly settle baby in for the night. And cross my fingers and hope for a good long stretch of sleep from then.

Aliveinwanderland Fri 20-Jan-17 14:50:46

I don't have any advice but my 12 week old is terrible at sleeping too. In the day time he tends to nap for an hour mid morning, 2-3 hours at lunch time and another hour mid afternoon. He goes down to bed at 7pm not problem, sleeps till 10pm. But then after this can wake every hour throughout the night and will need feeding back to sleep.

Everyone says it gets easier, it hasn't done yet!

Kariana Fri 20-Jan-17 14:59:51

It does sound like she hasnt quite got days and nights sorted yet. To help her instead of extending the awake periods you might need to shorten the naps. First I would get her up in the morning earlier at the same time everyday, even if it means waking her. Pick a time around 7-8 and wake her each day at that time. This will be hard at first as you will lose a potential lie in!

If you want you could just try this to start with and keep the naps the same, and see how you go after a week, however you might find she just starts taking a really long morning nap as a continuation of the night sleep. I would make sure that her first nap of the day lasts no more than an hour so you can hopefully prevent this. You could then let her have a longer nap later in the day around lunchtime if she wants it. Hopefully after a while she will naturally start moving her night sleep more into the night!

Camperchick3 Fri 20-Jan-17 15:14:52

Unfortunately, she doesn't wake up easily!! When she is sleeping for a long time in the day I often try to wake her but she just won't wake up! I also worry a bit about doing anything that might mess up her daytimes as they run so smoothly and she is such a happy baby! Plus, if it's like last night, she fell asleep at 5.30-7.30 then had a feed and then went back to sleep til lunchtime because she was so tired from being awake all night! Might try keeping her downstairs with us for the evening but this is usually where I try to claw back a couple of hours sleep and leave her with my partner. It's all such a minefield!

Kariana Sat 21-Jan-17 11:23:22

The thing is, harsh as it sounds, if you want the night sleeping I'm afraid you will have to mess up the day sleep for a bit. No baby can sleep all night and then sleep till lunchtime. Unfortunately you have to decide which you want more!

beemay Sun 22-Jan-17 23:43:04

Agree with Kariana, sounds like some probably painful day/night switching needed. I also wonder how much daylight your DD is getting? I read somewhere they need to be exposed to daylight, particularly morning daylight (for some reason) to help set their body clocks...

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