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Controlled crying not working in middle of night?

(11 Posts)
bonnymnemonic Tue 17-Jan-17 01:52:39

We are sleep training our 8mo DD at the moment. Going from bed sharing with instant access to milk throughout the night, to a cot in her own room and feeding no more often than 3-4 hours (even though she likely doesn't even need these feeds).

We are eight days in and have seen a huge improvement in her sleeping during the evening. Going from waking every 30-60 minutes to sleeping up to five hours from being put down.

During the evening she wakes, but settles herself easily. However, once we get to the early hours, she seems to struggle to settle herself and will be awake for hours. We use the same CC method we've been using at bed time, but it doesn't seem to work. I know we shouldn't but we've brought her back into our bed a few times when she's been awake for two hours or so and we've wanted everyone to get some sleep.

Part of me suspects that continuing to offer some breastfeeds in the night has confused her, but I was worried that stopping night feeds all together would leave her hungry.

Has anyone else been where we are? How did you crack the early hours wakings?

firsttimemum15 Tue 17-Jan-17 02:11:13

If she is in your bed and you all get some sleep is it a problem? I beat nyself up over this but then we all get sleep and a decent amount so everyone is happy.
I questioned it becaise my baby wouldnt do what everyone elses/society thinks it should.

Do what your baby needs and dont worry

bonnymnemonic Tue 17-Jan-17 07:54:16

I wouldn't mind continuing to bed share for the end of the night, but I can't go back to doing it full time. However, I can see that doing it part time could confuse her and we might undo the hard work it's taken us to get her sleeping through the evening.

We're also trying to get her to take naps in her cot instead of in a sling. I'm going back to work soon and I want to ensure she can achieve sleep independently of me/the sling.

I appreciate the kind words, but I do need to find a way of progressing with the nighttime sleep training.

GenevaJoey Tue 17-Jan-17 08:31:59

I'm doing the same with my 7 month old. She was already self settling ok in the evening, but waking frequently ( every hour in the night) for snacking. She's been in her own cot in her own room for 10 days and it has vastly improved. I have decided to restrict her feeds to 2 per night (the first couple of I didn't feed her at all, and I think she was hungry. She has started eating more in day now though, add I think 2 is the right amount for the moment.) and it seems (touch wood) to be working. Last night she went down happily at 8pm, and woke at 2am and 4am for long feeds, and went straight back to sleep. I'm happy with that.

I haven't really done controlled crying though, although I am responding much slower to her cries now I have to wake up and get out of bed! When she wakes up and cries I go to her and hold her hand or put hand on stomach, give her her favourite soft toy until she calms down. Then I leave. I go back if she cries again, but might wait a couple of minutes to see if she settles) mostly because I'm so tired!!).

Anyway, it's been an exhausting week or so, and quite hard, but think am beginning to see results. I didn't want to cosleep long term either, (and I am sure we were disturbing her during the night) and so this is just something that had to be done.

Is your baby crying for the whole 2 hours she is awake, or is she just wide awake and playing? If the former, maybe try setting in her cot and staying with her but not feeding? I don't know, though. It's early days for me too! Maybe you just need to persevere. If you do try settling in cot. I recommend a comfy chair and warm dressing gown.

bonnymnemonic Tue 17-Jan-17 09:22:19

Thanks Geneva. Nice to hear from someone else who is going through it at the moment. I really appreciate you sharing how it's going for you.

Perhaps I ought to relax a little with regard to night feeds and concentrate on getting her to spend the full night in her cot and perhaps then we can cut down on feeds. Like you, I'd be more than happy to do a couple of night feeds, but I suspect DD would like far more!

Purplebluebird Tue 17-Jan-17 10:09:43

I know lots of people who did CC but still allow their babies/toddlers to come in to their bed midway through the night. Would maybe be a good solution for you, so everyone get some sleep, and without traumatising your little one. I don't think baby will be confused.

bonnymnemonic Tue 17-Jan-17 13:43:40

That's interesting to hear Purple. Definitely worth considering being a part time bed sharer.

firsttimemum15 Tue 17-Jan-17 18:52:52

I think thats what i meant. Youve said it better though Purple

Kariana Wed 18-Jan-17 14:31:07

I think sometimes getting a feed on waking and sometimes not is confusing. Also it sounds like you might get some results with a late evening dreamfeed. So assuming she is going to bed around 7/8 you would get her up at 10/11 and feed her without waking her too much. Just make sure she is awake enough to get a full feed. At first it might upset things a little but after a few days you will hopefully see the long stretch of sleep move to later in the night. A reasonable time for the next feed would be around 4am and then hopefully she will start to settle again till morning which would hopefully be around 7am. Once that is established you can work on cutting the night feeds.

How long are her daytime naps? Sometimes overtiredness can cause early morning wakings, which sounds counter intuitive but really does happen!

bonnymnemonic Wed 18-Jan-17 20:13:01

Thanks Kariana. Good ideas. She doesn't nap long enough in the day, which we're trying to sort out too. Feeling like it's a vicious cycle!

1frenchfoodie Sun 22-Jan-17 21:01:27

We had great success with CC with our baby from about 7 months, only taking a couple of days for her to settle with no crying. She can swiftly be transferred back to bed after a night time feed unless the feed is 6am or later, it is as though her sleep is lighter and she just rouses and chatters to herself, rattles cot bars or cries. So if she wakes and feeds at that sort of time she comes into bed with us and the majority of the time goes back to sleep. We all slept til 9am this sat and sunday!

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