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12 week old sleeps but I can't!

(3 Posts)
Whenisittimeforwine Fri 13-Jan-17 21:58:23

DS is 12 weeks and I'm EBF. The first few months he would really only sleep on either mine or DH's chest, he will now sleep in Moses basket sometimes but ONLY if he has a hand on him the whole time, if I take my hand away he wakes up almost straight away. I think it's the comfort bless him. He's also a VERY noisy baby, grunting at full volume all night although not in any obvious discomfort and is fast asleep.

The problem is that I'm a terrible sleeper - I sleep very lightly so I can't sleep at all with his noises (I've tried ear plugs, white noise, having him on DH side of bed but nothing helps), I also just can't fall asleep with my hand wedged out of bed in the co-sleeper resting on him, it's just too uncomfortable and I'm permanently aware that he's going to wake up if I move.

He feeds approx every 3-4 hours at night which I know is good, but each feed is taking 1.5-2 hours including settling etc. We are seeing lactation consultant to check for tongue tie etc. but not for a few weeks.

I literally cannot be up for 2 hour feeds then lie wide awake the rest of the night, but this is what I've been doing and it's driving me crazy, I'm starting to lose the plot.

I had a massive meltdown the other night and the last few nights I've been in spare room and DH has been in our room sleeping with DS, he brings him in to me to feed. He is a deeper sleeper than me but honestly I don't know how he can sleep with the grunting, and also needing to keep his hand in the crib all the time. I feel so guilty - he has to get up to go to work but I am literally at my wits end and actually feel like it's a guilty pleasure, escaping to the spare room. However - DH does get to sleep solidly for 2 hours every time I'm feeding DS!

Can anyone offer any moral support? What would you do in this situation with regards to what DH does/doesn't do?

EsmesBees Fri 13-Jan-17 22:10:10

I was exactly the same. Post natal insomnia is surprisingly common. I just found I was too alert to sleep. I say use the spare room if that works for you. Yes DH has to work but you have to look after a newborn all day. Unless he has a job which means he needs his 8 hours I would prioritise your sleep over his.

I did find mindfulness podcasts helped me fall back to sleep. I used to do an exercise where I'd pick a location, like the beach for example, and name an object you'd find there for each letter of the alphabet. Sounds ridiculous but distracted my mind.

It's horrible OP. Lots of sympathy. We moved DD into her own room at 12 weeks because I simply couldn't rest with her in with us.

Whenisittimeforwine Sat 14-Jan-17 09:50:56

Thank you for support EsmesBees! I actually agree that mums do need just as much (if not more) sleep as looking after a newborn is a difficult and emotionally challenging full time job. It's amazing though how many people (my friends in RL included) who inadvertently make me feel guilty because DH gets up at night?

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