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12 week old sleeps but I don't!

(3 Posts)
Whenisittimeforwine Fri 13-Jan-17 21:50:00

DS is 12 weeks and I'm EBF. The first few months he would really only sleep on either mine or DH's chest, he will now sleep in Moses basket sometimes but ONLY if he has a hand on him the whole time, if I take my hand away he wakes up almost straight away. I think it's the comfort bless him. He's also a VERY noisy baby, grunting at full volume all night although not in any obvious discomfort and is fast asleep.

The problem is that I'm a terrible sleeper - I sleep very lightly so I can't sleep at all with his noises (I've tried ear plugs, white noise, having him on DH side of bed but nothing helps), I also just can't fall asleep with my hand wedged out of bed in the co-sleeper resting on him, it's just too uncomfortable and I'm permanently aware that he's going to wake up if I move.

He feeds approx every 3-4 hours at night which I know is good, but each feed is taking 1.5-2 hours including settling etc. We are seeing lactation consultant to check for tongue tie etc. but not for a few weeks.

I literally cannot be up for 2 hour feeds then lie wide awake the rest of the night, but this is what I've been doing and it's driving me crazy, I'm starting to lose the plot.

I had a massive meltdown the other night and the last few nights I've been in spare room and DH has been in our room sleeping with DS. He is a deeper sleeper than me but honestly DS is like a bloody tractor, there's no way DH can be sleeping well. I feel so guilty - he has to get up to go to work but I am literally at my wits end and actually feel like it's a guilty pleasure, escaping to the spare room.

Can anyone offer any moral support? What would you do in this situation with regards to what DH does/doesn't do?

FATEdestiny Fri 13-Jan-17 22:27:08

Have you tried a dummy? It might help quiet him down and also help him get into a deeper sleep.

You may need to adjust your expectations though. Baby is going to significantly need you through the night long term. While I understand how emotions run high every now and again and a night in another room may help, it's not a realistic solution that your DH is working and doing the night wakes, while you're on maternity leave.

Could you and baby cosleep for daytime naps to help you get some rest?

TheWrathFromHighAtopTheThing Fri 13-Jan-17 22:28:46

Tiny babies are so noisy! I promise it lessens with each passing week though. Or maybe you get used to it, or too tired to care.

cake until this phase passes.

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