Please help me get my 8 month old to sleep

[Nzou1050]

I could really do with some advice as to how to get my 8 month old to sleep. Current bedtime routine is breastfeed to sleep in darkened bedroom and try to place in cot then run to freedom. The problem after the feed this takes between 1 to 2 hours to achieve as she wake up when being put down and needs to be rocked back to sleep and cuddled til she's in a deep sleep and then try again. This invariably takes numerous attempts averaging two hours. I'm really fed up with it I get very little evening hardly see my DH as one of us is upstairs going through this rigmarole.

She has never been a good sleeper and I've read about 8/9/10 month sleep regression but I don't think it's that as she's never had a good standard to regress from.

My concern is that I shouldn't be rocking her to sleep at this age as she needs to learn to fall asleek by herself which she can't do at all and I've no idea how to get her there. Tried leaving her to cry for a few mins then going in and patting/sushing but she gets really hysterical and takes ages to calm down. She goes from being put down asleep to sat up crying in about a min and can't soothe herself. It's exactly the same daytime naps.

My DS was so easy. Had a bottle and put down awake with his dummy and off to sleep by himself within a few mins from 13 weeks. Tried to get her to take a dummy from newborn up to a couple of months but she wasn't having any of it. I have no idea what to do. DH won't do cry it out. Am worried if we keep on like this she'll never learn to settle herself.

Sorry for the essay. If you've got this far does anyone have any ideas?

[muminmanchester]

Can your health visitor refer you to a nursery nurse? Ours offer that service. They come and observe your bedtime routine and offer advice.

We did controlled crying at about 10 months. Wasn't easy but it did work and we saw improvements within a few days.

I really feel for you OP. It just seems never ending at times

[Nzou1050]

Thanks for your reply. Will talk to the health visitor on Monday, having someone come to observe and offer advice sounds like it would be really useful.

[FATEdestiny]

How about trying to introduce a snuggle toy or muslin to suck the corner of?

The bottom line is tou will need to put her in the cot and settle her in the cot. That will mean crying but doesn't need to mean leaving her.

You could stay, lean into the cot. Lots of cuddling, calming, caring compassion but all while she is in the cot. Just keep on going, all the time staying right there helping her but keep going until she falls asleep.

[Joinourclub]

I feed, then put down in cot still awake and pat until calm, then stay til asleep. First few times she cried lots in the cot, now she usually settles quickly but may take a little longer to drop off. She still wakes up inter evening but usually a quick pat sends her back to sleep and she doesn't need picking up. She's still not exactly great but it is so much better than it was and we have time to at least have dinner and watch a bit of Netflix!
Also I now put her to sleep in her side, she much prefers it. Sometimes she can be screaming the house down and just shifting her a small amount to her dude can switch her off immediately.
With my first, who was also a bad sleeper,we did cry it out successfully at 7 months. Leaving him for 2 minutes, then 4 then 6 etc. I prefer the 'pat' method as it is less stressful.
Oo and white noise helps too!

[HD18]

Hello,

My little girl is 7 months old and she used to be the same, I would have to rock her to sleep for every daytime nap and to settle her at night, I eventually just got so tired (especially during the night as it could take hours sometimes) that I gave in and left her to cry it out, I did stay in the room and every few minutes would get up and comfort her but it did work. It took about 2 weeks to properly sink in for her but now I can just put her in her cot and leave her to fall asleep. You just have to be really strong and once you've started you can't give in and pick them up as it just makes it harder. The only downside of it (personally for me) is that she will no longer fall asleep in my arms which I really miss sometimes, it's almost that she's now become reliant on being in her cot to fall asleep now rather than being rocked! But bedtime is a much happier time now knowing that we don't have to spend hours up there rocking her to sleep.