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Breaking a feed sleep association in 11 month old

(3 Posts)
LittleSausageFingers Tue 10-Jan-17 10:50:31

I've pretty much always fed my 11mo DD to sleep, and fed her back to sleep when she wakes at night. I haven't enjoyed the night waking (2-5+ wakes a night) but I've loved feeding her to sleep, however we have decided we need to change this, as I am back to work next month and I want to try to get her to go to sleep without me to give her the best chance of sleeping well at nursery and for my mum.

I haven't fed her to sleep since Friday night now, and it went really well at the weekend, when my DH did all the naps and bedtimes, she just rolled over and went to sleep with a dummy with my DH lying by the cot. We're also trying to night wean her very, very gently. Last few nights she's been waking twice and feeding once, a massive improvement.

So far, so good. But DH works in the week so nap times are down to me. Managed to get her to sleep yesterday without feeding but it took ages, and she wouldn't have an afternoon nap so was besides herself with tiredness by bedtime. This morning I've been trying for the last hour and she won't sleep even though she's tired. We're shortly going to baby group so will try again afterwards. It's frustrating because she'd be asleep in 5 minutes if i did the usual feed to sleep!

Am i doing the right thing? I know i could continue to feed her to sleep, knowing that she'll probably sleep ok for other people because she does for DH... But i feel like we need to be consistent in this. Just looking for support/other's experiences really!

Oh, just to mention DD has a hearing loss and we can only calm her at night by switching on the lights to show her we're still here. CIO-type methods are therefore off the table as it just wouldn't be fair to her (also I couldn't bear it!)

FATEdestiny Tue 10-Jan-17 12:58:32

Since your DH can get her to sleep without massive hassle, I'd say nursery and your mum will be able to too. The reas9n they can is simple, they aren't you.

To baby, if you are there then you mean breastfeed. If you are there baby will only want a breastfeed because that's 'best comfort' to your baby. When you aren't There, baby will evidently make do with alternate comfort.

Personally if carry on feeding to sleep (assuming you are happy to carry on long term) when it's just you. But 3very time anyone else is There, get them to put baby to sleep in order to practice alternate comforting methods.

LittleSausageFingers Tue 10-Jan-17 20:10:38

Thanks for your message fate. I think you're probably right and I could feed to sleep for naps without it affecting how she settles for other people... I just wanted to go cold turkey from it so as not to confuse her (sometimes she's fed to sleep/sometimes not) because I really want to stop feeding her back to sleep at night. Eleven months of at least three hourly wakings that only I can deal with have nearly killed me!

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