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I think I have made a huge error - feeding to sleep 5 months

(16 Posts)
Bleats Wed 04-Jan-17 19:14:21

Hi, reposting from 'behaviours' as this seems a better home (sorry for repetition).

My five month old has a routine to sleep that was fine until the four month regression kicked in, but is now sending me back to the hell of the fourth trimester. She is waking every two hours throughout the night and is using my boob to ear and a dummy. Ahhhhhh!

We have a bath and then I feed her to sleep on our bed (we co-sleep kind of by accident as I had wanted to use the cot next to the bed, but transferring her is hard - she more often wakes than not). She is often asleep by 7.00 or 7.30 and wakes properly between 7.30 - 8.30.

Any advice as to stop this behaviour? I have tried some controlled crying and a dummy (tommy tippee but not any others). I am a real softie about keeping her happy but frankly I am now like the living dead and need to sleep. Please help sad.

DoloresAbernathy Wed 04-Jan-17 21:20:52

Sorry I've not got much experience as I'm new to this too but I'm currently doing pick up / put down by Tracey Hogg it is hard going but I'm on day 7 and things are really improving, have up until this week had to use a sling to get dc to have day naps ( my dc is 9 months) I think in her book for younger babies she talks about the shush pat /method may be worth a read, good luck regardless of what you end up trying the lack of sleep is exhausting! brewcake

Beansprout30 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:34:32

In exactly the same boat with my five month old. We had a good routine going a few weeks ago but it's gone completetly tits up now, she's asleep on me downstairs and she will come to bed with me in a bit.

I've decided to sod the routine for a few weeks and try again when I feel more positive because right now I feel like I'm obsessing over her bedtimes. She sleeps like a log next to me at night, but I do worry this will be even harder to break further down the line. Like you though I can't bare to have her upset

TeaBelle Wed 04-Jan-17 21:35:48

Please don't use controlled crying for such a young baby

GemmaB78 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:40:27

We went through similar with our son. I couldn't bear to let him get upset - so continued to boob to sleep and bedshare until he was 14, maybe 15 months very recently. He now self-settles and sleeps in his own bed either all night, or comes into our bed for maybe the last hour or so. We made a conscious decision to be led by him, and wait until he was ready, and for him it was now. I know how bloody hard it is, but if you can wait until she is ready, it will be better for her in the long run.

3andamdone Wed 04-Jan-17 21:47:15

I have the same thing, dd waking every 1 or 2 hrs it's so hard going and 2 older ladies to look after! I was wondering whether to do pu/pd or sleep lady shuffle.
Are you breast or bottle feeding? I have always let her go to sleep on boob as paranoid abut her getting enough so don't like taking her off, I have tried the "pantley pull off" but doesn't seem to work, she falls asleep on boob or as I hold her.

JellyWitch Wed 04-Jan-17 21:49:17

At that age my daughter just slept on my lap until I went to bed - I really couldn't be doing with all the running up and downstairs all evening as on me she nursed and slept happily, then we just went to bed together.

We still cosleep (she's 2) but at least now she goes down on our bed for the evening.

3andamdone Wed 04-Jan-17 22:04:47

I've been doing that till now but she's so distractable she's stating to wake up and want to watch tv😂Plus then when we go to bed it's hard to settle her and the 1-2 holy wake up fun starts!

Orangebird69 Wed 04-Jan-17 22:08:56

No advice (i still feed to sleep my 14mo ds... and he has decided that being asleep if I'm not in the room is illegal so he's currently asleep on the sofa next to me). But please don't do cc with your baby. 5mo is way too young.

Bleats Wed 04-Jan-17 22:44:57

Hello all, thanks for the ideas and support. I am clearly not the only one.

Tea and orange thanks esp re cc. I was only leaving it a few mins at the worst parts of the night, but after your comments I have now found lots of articles saying 6 months earliest (if at all) is best. As my instinct to respond to her cries I will continue to do so and I am sure that this will be better for her. Dolores the tea and cake are much appreciated as is the book advice. I am glad to hear that 7 days in things are getting better for you and and your dc.

Right, time to try and get my sleep in. Yawn and good luck to the rest of us x

Orangebird69 Wed 04-Jan-17 23:11:32

flowers it's fucking rough OP. Hope things get better for you x

3andamdone Thu 05-Jan-17 10:40:35

Bleats, you didn't do anything wrong either. When they are little feeding is the way they go to sleep and that's that. Trouble is they are all different, our eldest dd fed to sleep but slept so well it was never any bother- I did do Elizabeth pantlley stlye tricks with her- she was sleeping 10 hrs at 4 months (HEAVEN) our middle dd was nightmare did same things with her but never worked she was really bad sleeper and did cc with her which did help. The thing is eldest now 8 is the night owl and early riser and nightmare baby now 6 sleeps great!!
This time we are having same nightmare again, last night spent 2 hrs as a human dummy, nipple kept falling out of her mouth itself but soon as it did she was rooting for it again. It's just not sustainable

I think we have to just do what feels right for them and family as a whole at the time,
Sorry no use, just random thoughts!!

teaandbiscuitsforme Thu 05-Jan-17 12:34:21

I'm a huge fan of feeding to sleep and co-sleeping but went through the phase of feeling like I'd done it all 'wrong'. Took a few more months and I realised I hadn't- I'd gone with my instincts and responded to my daughters needs.

It's obviously not for everybody but I hate the thought of anybody stressing that they've done something wrong. If it suits you, stop worrying, go with it and get as much sleep as you can whilst she's sleeping next you.

Obviously if it doesn't suit you then there's lots of advice for techniques out there. Hope you had a better night.

PJsmumsie Thu 27-Apr-17 19:41:08

I've been in the same boat as you, up until month 6 my daughter only fell asleep feeding, she slept in bed with us (by accident, like you). I agonised over it, tried all sorts of methods, thought I was damaging her in some way, then I had a chat with a mum friend who has a two year old who said that she didn't change anything about her daughter's sleep routine and all of a sudden she just started to sleep right through without help. So I went with my gut and eventually as my daughter got older she just started being happy with rocking to sleep in the pram, now she sleeps either through rocking in my arms or feeding, and will now sleep in a cot for the first half of the night.

Just do whatever works for your little one and they will eventually develop their own routine. I do however believe that controlled crying is horrible, I've known parents who've done this with their children and it just seems mean. Please avoid!

Theducksarenotmyfriends Thu 27-Apr-17 20:07:59

I'm in the same position as you op,, my dd is 4 months and sometimes happily suckles on me all night! I have a cot wedged next to the bed side car style with a bed bridge and spend most of the night half lying in it feeding her lying down - it's the only way I've got some sleep!

Thanks for your post gemma, it's encouraging to know they find their own way with sleep eventually. It's really hard sometimes but I hope that by co sleeping I'm helping her feel more secure about sleep in the long run...we shall see!

PurplePidjin Thu 27-Apr-17 20:19:01

Seriously? Roll with it. This is completely normal infant behaviour

My 4.5yo fed to sleep until he was 15 months. My 20mo fed to sleep until, well, yesterday. You're responding to your baby's needs and teaching them how to trust.

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