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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

Bed sharing

15 replies

Jazzapples · 31/12/2016 10:11

Does anyone have experience of fathers bed sharing with babies? I have been bed sharing with my bf DS since he was 2 weeks old as we were not getting any sleep. It worked brilliantly and he sleeps through most of the night. He's now almost 6 months. We've tried periodically to get him to sleep in a co-sleeping crib and/or sleepyhead but it didn't work, he wakes up every 30 mins or less. Over the last week we've tried PUPD in a cot in his own room but it was awful, he got so distressed and we've stopped. So now we're back to bed sharing for the moment.

Unfortunately I have a back problem and applying the advice about safe bed sharing (lying on my side, pillow between knees, underneath arm out) means that I don't move all night and that leads to my back and shoulder seizing up! So we wondered if, now the baby is a bit older, if my DH could have him on his side of the bed some nights? He's happy to try but we haven't been able to find any advice or experience of other fathers bed sharing with babies.

Has anyone done this in their families? Would be grateful for any advice.

OP posts:

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hashtagblessed · 31/12/2016 10:20

Could you do a Sleepyhead or similar 'nest' on top of the duvet between you?

FATEdestiny · 31/12/2016 11:11

So we wondered if, now the baby is a bit older, if my DH could have him on his side of the bed some nights?

Yes, of course you can!

DH and myself would often swap sides of the bed (to be next to baby) when I needed a break.

Jazzapples · 31/12/2016 17:59

That's really helpful- thanks! It's good to know that other people have done it!

OP posts:

carolinexiao · 18/02/2017 11:06

Hello! Slightly old thread I know, but we do this regularly with DD as I BF but also have epilepsy (and just returned to work) so DH bed shares with the baby for half the night most nights (she manages the first half of the night in her cot but won't settle after). She's 8 months btw.

Jazzapples · 18/02/2017 11:54

Thanks carolinexiao, that's good to hear!

OP posts:

TheOnlyWayIsMN · 19/02/2017 20:57

From 7m DH was back in our bed, up to that point it was just me and baby. After stopping feeding, DC goes in the middle so he can kick the sh*t out of both of us

Heirhelp · 20/02/2017 18:17

Dd is 9 months and ff. Since 6 months we have coslept. DH is still in the spare room but one night on the weekend we swap beds. DD is fine with it.

Dinnerout1 · 20/02/2017 18:26

Why on earth do you sleep with your babies/children? Your making it all hard work for yourselves later on. Babies/children need routine and uninterrupted sleep. Why on earth would you kick out your husband from the bed you both sleep in. Hard work at the beginning gets results later on.

EpoxyResin · 20/02/2017 18:42

Haha, speak for your own babies Dinner! Trust me, not only have I MEY my own baby/child but I am in fact his mother so generally regarded as an authority on his needs

Heirhelp · 20/02/2017 19:22

DH is more than welcome to sleep with us and he often does at weekends.

Imagine being scared and confused by where you are and then sleeping away from the person you love and know will keep you safe. This is why I sleep with DD. When she was little she would happily go down to sleep in the cot and as she was formula feed due to medical reasons I was too concerned about SIDS to cosleep but a six months she was very clear that she wanted to be with me. I love my baby and I love cuddling her.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 20/02/2017 19:42

Really Dinner?? I didn't realise I'd had DC to 'get results'. Am I winning because DD sleeps in her own bed or losing because I cosleep with DS?

shuckleberryfinn · 20/02/2017 19:46

Dinner why do you get to sleep next to a human that you love and trust but your baby doesn't? Why is it a reasonable expectation of a baby but not an adult to sleep isolated from the family?

Jazzapples · 20/02/2017 20:44

Umm, thanks dinner but I wasn't actually asking if I should have my baby in bed with me...

He sleep very peacefully and has a great routine.

OP posts:

Dinnerout1 · 10/03/2017 20:02

It will make your routine later on harder to put them in their own bed, let's have it right.. You do it so you get to sleep at night!
Harder for you all in the long term. It's nothing about wanting your dear baby next to you. For starters it's dangerous to sleep in the same bed and baby needs to learn routine straight away. It's proven that children need a routine and their own space.

Highlove · 10/03/2017 20:29

Actually babies don't need to learn routine straight away - that's utter bollocks and in fact contradicts the latest NHS guidelines. But in any event, is there any good reason why a baby can't co-sleep and have a routine..?

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