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DDs sharing NIGHTMARE!!

(10 Posts)
MadBannersAndCopPorn Wed 21-Dec-16 21:20:09

2 dds sharing a room, one 3 one 4.

Up until about the beginning of the summer hols they went to bed at 6.30/ 7 and were sparko within 1/2 hour.

Now, when I put them down as soon as I leave the room they get into each others beds, playing, giggling, banging. I usually just leave them or go up and gently tell them to get back into bed (sometimes less gently if it's been a long day)

I'm at breaking point and have used "the rage" shouting more times than I'm proud of.
I have tried the nicey nicey approach
I have tried reading them a looooong story in dim light in the hope they fall asleep.
I have tried confiscating items if they don't listen
I've tried letting them watch a dvd (weekends and holidays)

Please help, I dread bedtime and feel really drained by it. They sometimes just laugh at me when Im trying to get them to go down. Today I lost it as they drenched their bedroom with soapy water from the bathroom. I put them in their room at about 6.20 and discovered what they were doing at 8.45!!!!

What's the answer, cause I need it for my sanity

idontlikealdi Wed 21-Dec-16 21:21:53

They're not tired! Is 620 a normal bedtime? 4.5 yo dts go up at 730.

RNBrie Wed 21-Dec-16 21:27:00

I have three dd's sharing a room (6mo, 2 and 4). They all get in to bed for 7. Any messing around and there is no TV the next day. The 2 year old is the worst for dicking around, she still has a lunch time nap which she can't do without but which makes it harder to go to sleep. She's allowed to play with a couple of soft toys in her bed but if I can hear her from my room then she's too loud and I tell her I'll take them away. The threat of no TV + no teddy is enough for them!!

MadBannersAndCopPorn Wed 21-Dec-16 22:02:42

I have been worrying too much I think about punishing them for something they've done the night before. Sort of like "Morning!!! Right, no tv/ toys/ whatever for you today, you were naughty last night"

I put them to bed with enough time to piss about and still be asleep by a decent time. If i put them to bed at 8, they'd piss about till 9.30 and be ragged in the morning and awful all day, 3yo would fall asleep in car etc...

I had a good suggestion on the other thread to read to them in the dark until they fall asleep but I'm not sure they warrant that amount of attention (at nighttime when they should be going to sleep)

Poocatcherchampion Wed 21-Dec-16 22:11:54

My two used to get excited and play for a bit and we would just leave them to it. But they were in their beds and not mucking about with the bathroom and water - they wouldn't have dared do that.

I think you need to work on misbehaviour and then teach them to sort themselves out rather than come up with ways to bore them to sleep with reading etc.

MooPointCowsOpinion Wed 21-Dec-16 22:19:14

The messing with soap and laughing at you are concerning. I don't do punishments with my two girls but I certainly would be livid at that if they ever tried it, it's so disrespectful.

My husband reads to my 6yo until she's asleep, it works really well for her.

Can you stagger bedtime, one upstairs with you and the other downstairs, both separate with a book and a song and then when the youngest is asleep, the eldest goes up. You could even get the eldest in on the task, like she's responsible for making sure her little sister gets a good nights sleep by being quiet? It will make her feel special staying up a little later and being part of the grown up team.

MadBannersAndCopPorn Wed 21-Dec-16 22:22:34

Thank you poocatcher

I would never have dreamed of behaving like that for my parents either.

I'm not sure how to get them to stop doing it though??! I hate the idea of screaming at them every night and them falling asleep sad.

What would you do if it were your children?

MadBannersAndCopPorn Wed 21-Dec-16 22:30:25

I do get livid when they repeatedly get out of bed, in each others beds etc but no punishment phases them. I'm not the sort of mother who threatens things and doesn't carry it out either so it's not like they don't think it'll happen.
They are very close in age and are each others fuel, they have teamed up on me....

Poocatcherchampion Wed 21-Dec-16 22:31:15

Sometimes I do my controlling voice - very gently and slowly - "right girls, you are going to get into bed, you are allowed to chat, you can have a nice talk, but if I have to come up and tell you off mummy will be very angry with you and you won't like that will you?" No - they squeak.

And I say things like - if you lie very quietly I will come and cuddle you in a bit - and I don't go if they are noisy.

Only ideas ! But they know I don't take any crap.

I did do an experiment once with shouting. I was in such a grump before school and was shouting at them - don't do that, be careful etc and getting all stressed and they basically took no notice. I had enoygh perspective to watch myself doing it iyswim.When I got downstairs I apologised for shouting and they looked at me blankly. Ive never wasted my time shouting again. I either jolly them along or say as little as possible if I am really knackered (we have a baby as well)

Artandco Wed 21-Dec-16 22:38:26

I always stayed with them untila sleep at 3. Both in our bed, read books until they are asleep or sleepy then wait until asleep. Bedtime around 9pm

6.20pm isn't even dinner started here, it's seems very early for bed.

I would change to 8pm bed, both in their beds, dim lights, read story to them in boring voice. Not looking at pictures at bedtime, they need to be laying down with eyes closing. Read around 15 mins. If still away sit quietly reading your own book shushing and repeating it's bedtime as needed

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