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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

Didn't sleep at all last night

25 replies

cookieswirls · 19/12/2016 07:52

My twins have kept me up most the night for about 6 months now, last night they took it in turns to be awake all night! I'm so so tired I was exhausted from a really busy day yesterday Xmas shopping and I feel like the two days have merged into one. They keep standing up in cots too so I have no choice to get them. Dh is working away till Wednesday and even then he doesn't really help as they bf and won't drink from bottles. I really need to sleep

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Pollyanna9 · 19/12/2016 08:00

Possibly it's time for very strict put down, leave, put down, leave, put down, leave (in the style of Jo Frost) until they get the message.

You CAN ignore them!

However, it's nigh on impossible if the cots are in the same room - can you re-organise sleeping arrangements if that's the case?

So the other key message here is DH not helping enough. Since he can't breastfeed them he can: do the Xmas food shop, clean the house from top to bottom, do all the laundry, cook the meals for the next couple of days, send you out the house for the X hrs you would be able to go out the house between feeds (presumably around 4 hours of blissful free time just away from being needed).

You can't go on like this, you'll make yourself ill but in order to get out of this scenario you need to be firm with the twins at night, and extra firm with your DH by day - he needs to step up and be a supportive husband - their bfeeding is no excuse to say he can't help as there are numerous other things he can do.

If you're going to get the message through to him it's going to have to be very clear, black and white - he's clearly not figured out on his own that you are exhausted and that no one could go through what you're going through ongoing week after week and remain sane. Tell him to step up - do it preemptively before he comes back on Wednesday so he knows what he's doing from the moment he steps back in through the door.

That's all I got.

cookieswirls · 19/12/2016 08:05

I wish I could make him do all the extra but he has health problems which would make him more I'll and tbh I haven't got any extra time to be helping him too sounds very cruel but true I just need some sleep desperately

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OohNoDooEy · 19/12/2016 08:08

Controlled crying or gradual withdrawal. I think sleep training is just necessary for twins.

Let me know if you want a bullet point how to.

cookieswirls · 19/12/2016 08:10

Ohhno i really want to sleep train but I'm so tired I'm worried I will just get grumpy and give up. How long would you say it will take to see improvement?

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OohNoDooEy · 19/12/2016 08:13

Depends on what you go for but within a week (usually 4 days) for cc and a fortnight for gw

Pollyanna9 · 19/12/2016 08:35

You'll have health problems too if you don't get DH to help you more. He can go to work and be away for days at a time and travel - but he can't help around the house? Why would you 'need to spend extra time helping him too' - the idea is that HE does the chores ON HIS OWN, not you doing them together!

You're tired now so you may as well start a sleep training programme, but, it will only work if you get it and you're committed to seeing it through until you achieve success with it. It's either that, or it carries on like this and on like this and on like this and then gets even worse when they're in beds not cots and not only do they stand up, but they come into your room over and over and over and over again every night. Be sensible to nip it in the bud now and establish a clearly defined set of rules about nighttime - that it's for sleeping not interactions with mommy.

cookieswirls · 19/12/2016 10:54

Polly Dh does have health problems which I'm not getting into just saying it's not an option for him to work and do all the other jobs around the house. I don't need people questioning things I've, I'm on here for advice as I'm already at my wits end.

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OohNoDooEy · 19/12/2016 12:11

I think I'd start at nap times op. You sound knackered and the crying is worse when it's quiet at night. Tomorrow do the following routine:

Nap at 9, 12 & 3
Eat breakfast at 8, lunch at 11.30, dinner at 5 (if they're eating 3 meals)
Milk at 7, nap waking x 3 and before bed.

Nap routine of bedroom, nappy change, short book and bed

Bed at 7. Routine of pjs, milk, teeth if any, gro bag, book and bed.

FATEdestiny · 19/12/2016 13:22

How old are your twins cookieswirls?

Do they share a room? Do they have to share a room?

cookieswirls · 19/12/2016 14:01

Thank you oohno that sounds a good plan. They are 10 months old not sure if they're so unsettled because of teething

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cookieswirls · 19/12/2016 14:02

And yes they do share its not an option for their own room

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OohNoDooEy · 19/12/2016 14:30

Sorry op - I thought they were younger. At 10 months:

Naps at 10 & 2.30
Meals at 8, 12 & 5
Milk at 7, 2 & bedtime

LalaLeona · 19/12/2016 15:30

10 months seems to be a terrible time for sleep as I am finding out! ) learning to cruise talk teeth etc.. My son has completely regressed he keeps going on all 4s in his cot and trying to stand! I'm hoping once the novelty wears off he will improve!

cookieswirls · 19/12/2016 22:13

It's definitely worse now they can stand in the cots as I'm terrified they will fall out. I'm just on edge all night

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cookieswirls · 20/12/2016 08:02

Another night with barely any sleep

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beela · 20/12/2016 08:06

How will they fall out? Do you need to lower the as of the cot?

Do you have anyone who could take them for a couple of hours while you have a sleep?

Rumtopf · 20/12/2016 08:08

Have you lowered the base of the cots to the lowest level? Make sure there's nothing in there they can climb on and they shouldn't be able to climb out just yet.

What's your daytime napping schedule like? You want them tired for bed but not over tired or over stimulated, a nice calming bedtime routine is great. Also, they're old enough for sleep training, you can't continue like this, it's torturous.

cookieswirls · 20/12/2016 08:50

The problem I have is I really want to sleep train to see if that works but my brain can't focus on anything very well at the moment

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CottonSock · 20/12/2016 08:57

Poor you. I'm currently doing sleep training with a nocturnal single baba. Worked quicker wirh my first daughter than this time, but there has been progress and some really good nights. I did out of desparation both times. Its quite straightforward but you need to pick a method and stick to it. Ive been a bit inconsistent this time which did make things worse.

cookieswirls · 20/12/2016 09:15

Cottonsock which method worked best for you ?

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CottonSock · 20/12/2016 09:26

Don't like to admit it (on here) but full on cry it out. We tried ferber method with checks, think I was staying too long. You have to be fully committed to it and accept there could be prolonged crying. Your sleep and mental health is important though.

CottonSock · 20/12/2016 09:28

If you are consistent there should be big change after a few nights

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cookieswirls · 20/12/2016 10:07

Thankyou cottonsocks I am going to try it

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CottonSock · 21/12/2016 14:32

How did your night go?

cookieswirls · 21/12/2016 16:45

Not great one had a blocked up nose so I thought it might be best to wait till their better before trying cc. As you can imagine with I'll babies I had another bad night

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