19mo sleep-crying/talking/playing, help?

[ppandj]

My 19mo has never been a "good" sleeper, so much so that I have posted about it a few times before regarding his wakefulness and routine etc. We have now got a solid bedtime routine which we have been sticking to for almost a year now, he goes to bed really easily and bedtime is not a problem (except for occasionally he is poorly). However he does not sleep through the night. He has done it sporadically but with no obvious reason why for me to adapt the routine. He has one nap per day, late morning and he sleeps for about 1hr 40 mins.

Lately (past 2 weeks) we have stopped going into his room in the night unless he seems distressed. He sleeps on a floor bed with baby gate on the door and he used to get out of bed and come to the gate, so we used to go to him and put him back in bed (often at about 4am I would end up getting into bed with him to settle him out of being so tired). He has stopped coming to the gate now and when he is making noise in the night he looks like he is still asleep and often the noise isn't continuous. Mostly he cries out or groans, sometimes he laughs or talks and tries to play (he was saying "boo!" And "nee naw, nee naw" this week). Why might he be doing this and what can we do?

[FATEdestiny]

Mostly he cries out or groans, sometimes he laughs or talks and tries to play (he was saying "boo!" And "nee naw, nee naw" this week). Why might he be doing this?

He's trying different things in order to get your attention. Because he can't talk well enough to explain to you what is wrong. So he's doing all he can to get you to come so that hopefully you can solve whatever is wrong.

There will be something wrong. A reason he needs you. That might be he just wants your reassurance, comfort or just to know you are there and that he isn't alone.

What are your views on reassurance and comfort being a childs need?

Some people think reassurance and needing comfort are needs equally as important as being hungry, in pain or any other need. Other people think reassurance and needing comfort can be ignored.

[ppandj]

FATE we have very much always responded when we have felt he needed us there, we have never done any sort of sleep training because I have never wanted to deny his need simply for our presence. We co-slept for a long time (which is why he has a double mattress on the floor) but it seemed to be waking him up more and disturbing him, so we gradually started to let him sleep alone more and more. He goes to bed awake but drowsy and falls asleep on his own. Up until recently I did still go in and sleep in there with him but he was waking up and climbing all over me wanting to play, it didn't seem to be helping. I did wonder if it was separation anxiety, but he doesn't seem unhappy in the night and the "crying out" is not at all like his crying is normally, if that makes sense? I'm also pregnant and that may contribute maybe?

[FATEdestiny]

He's very young not to be in a cot.

As a means to help him learn to be still in order to sleep, I'd put him back in the cot. With you or dad (plus good quality ear plugs) on the mattress. You're then present for reassurance, could do things like hold hands through the cot bars for reassurance, but he's got the security of his cot sides.

Or just cosleep. In his room or your room.