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Putting baby down awake

(22 Posts)
Cinnamon84 Tue 29-Nov-16 14:27:15

I'm trying to read up on how I can help 15wk ds nap better.
All the books- baby whisperer, Gina ford etc all say to put baby down awake and not to transfer them to cot when they're already asleep. I've been trying this for weeks and it results in ds getting very frustrated and upset (swaddle, patting bum, white noise and dummy don't work).
Is it just me who is finding it impossible???!

JohnLapsleyParlabane Tue 29-Nov-16 14:29:24

I have a one year old. She has gone down awake once. Yesterday.
Some do, some don't. If it doesn't work for you then that's OK. What worked for us has been breastfeeding to sleep and transferring to cot.

strandedabroad Tue 29-Nov-16 14:39:49

Maybe he's not ready. Our 15 week old DS was the same until about 2 weeks ago. Then one day it worked and it's been working since (mind you, it's only been 2 weeks so it might stop working!).

Maybe give it a break and try again in a couple of weeks?

WellErrr Tue 29-Nov-16 14:44:37

My 2 older ones never went into their cots awake, I breastfed them to sleep then transferred them.

Youngest baby happily goes in her cot awake and falls asleep on her own.

They're all different, and nothing you do will change it. Gina Ford needs to give her head a wobble.

Heloise1982 Tue 29-Nov-16 14:54:41

My oldest didn't go down awake for aaaages. She slept through much earlier than my twins who go down awake like a dream but still often wake for a night feed now at 9 months.

I've come to the conclusion that self settling is a con.

Scrumptiousbears Tue 29-Nov-16 14:58:21

How long do you leave baby before you go back in?

FATEdestiny Tue 29-Nov-16 15:35:59

put baby down awake

The mistake people make with this is they assume you jump straight in putting a baby down fully awake and hoping for the best.

In the time it takes to accept this isn't going to work, all manner of poor quality sleep habits develop. So perversely, the problems come from trying to do the right thing.

Putting down asleep is not difficult and they can all do it. But it's gradual. You don't jump in with both feet.

So at newborn, for example, a feed will make baby sleep. Its what it does. Y0u then wind and as part of winding I would not aim to keep baby sleeping, the winding might be just robust enough so baby isn't in the fully deep sleep. Still asleep, but not floppy asleep. Then put down.

15 weeks I'd be feeding to dozy. Then winding and putting into swaddle gets baby used to being moved around when sleepy. Dummy in upon being put down and swaddle to calm startle reflex.

At this age is really is not about putting down a wide awake and distressed child. It's about cuddling baby until calm, quiet, just asleep and baby being used to being moved around and being resettled during that 'going to sleep' phase.

Compare to a baby who is used to not being disturbed or moved until fully and deeply asleep. Where mum and dad are afriad to move an inch so's not to disturb the baby whos finslly gone to sleep. That's the baby who will struggle to be 'put down' to sleep. Even though both are cuddled to sleep.

sianihedgehog Tue 29-Nov-16 15:39:51

I've never done it. He does it on his own when he is ready to sleep, but mostly feeds to sleep. I honestly think it's total bollocks - babies who are more naturally inclined to sleep easily are also more likely to fall asleep when put down awake. People make a lot of money out of making parents insecure about babies being normal healthy babies.

frikadela01 Tue 29-Nov-16 15:45:33

I wish my baby would nap. Anywhere I don't care just sleep for more than 10 fecking minutes.
He's 22 weeks. I've given up trying to get him to nap now and just take what I can get.
I've come to the conclusion that baby books and all the various philosophies are just another ploy to make women feel like shit when their baby doesn't fit with what the book says.

Sorry not helpful

Lules Tue 29-Nov-16 15:45:34

Mine did it fine until about 7 months and he learnt to stand up in his cot. Then it was awful about 10-12 months when I went back to work and he started nursery so I would cuddle til asleep then transfer. Then suddenly he changed, wouldn't fall asleep in my arms and wanted to be in the cot. So god knows why I bothered worrying about it earlier.

Cinnamon84 Tue 29-Nov-16 16:46:56

Thanks all, feeling less crap about this now. Ds will only sleep in sling in the day (have written other posts about this as it's driving me a bit crazy) - dp manages to get him to sleep in the sling, take him out and swaddle and put him down. I still can't do this sad
I still haven't managed to get him into a routine and I was worried we're getting into bad habits which will be hard to break further down the line

Cinnamon84 Tue 29-Nov-16 16:51:38

Thanks FATE, think you have answered one of the other threads I started.

We were following EASY when he used to fall asleep when I took him out in the pram and stay asleep for another hour or so when we got in... now he doesn't stay asleep for long enough so it's usually: eat, awake, sleep, (the you bit doesn't happen), awake, and then we get a bit lost, so I could try feeding til sleepy

Cakescakescakes Tue 29-Nov-16 16:52:53

I fed both my DC to sleep for every nap and bedtime for a year until they grew out of it. Don't stress smile

Cakescakescakes Tue 29-Nov-16 16:54:18

And DS2 only napped in the sling for first 6 months of his life. He is 2 now and has been an amazing sleeper and napper in his bed for months. Your baby is still very small so it won't always be like this!

Cinnamon84 Tue 29-Nov-16 16:57:43

Cakes you given me hope, was that because he didn't like the pram? How did you go from a sling napper to getting him to nap in his bed?

I go between getting really down about it- feel like we can't really go anywhere as he bawls his eyes out in the car seat and the pram... and then thinking this is totally fine

Cakescakescakes Tue 29-Nov-16 18:25:07

He hated the pram and car seat and never slept in them really even as a newborn. It was bizarrre. I kept trying with the cot (BF to sleep then laying into bed when asleep) and eventually that began to work for naps. But he was at least 6 or 7 months before he did anything more than a 15 minute cat nap in the cot so I tried to do sling naps too to make sure he got some sleep.

Both my babies were bad sleepers (day and night) until the age of about 1. And I tried EVERYTHING! (Except leaving them to cry for long periods). Eventually it just clicked and then they weee great sleepers as toddlers. They were both very active children and once they could crawl and walk that helped sleep immensely.

Cakescakescakes Tue 29-Nov-16 18:25:54

Ds1 never napped in the pram either past about 8 or 9 weeks. I'm always amazed at people with toddlers snoozing in their buggies. So alien to my experience!

Highlove Tue 29-Nov-16 18:32:08

My 16 week old only sleeps in the sling. I used to be able to get the first morning nap in a bouncer and her crib. Not now. I'd rather she wasn't always in the sling BUT frankly I'll take what I can get well - she naps well in the sling so I live with it. My elder DD was much harder work then 6/7 months overnight became a champion napper. So try not to worry.

Honestly, the only baby of this age I know in RL who could consistently be out down fully awake was left at the insistence of his bullying father to CIO - not even CC, full on cry by himself till he slept - from newborn.

HarryTheFluff Sun 04-Dec-16 22:03:09

I think Fate has this exactly right... what I also found useful was to imagine trying to keep yourself awake while watching tv, and your eyes keep closing and you almost drop off but just manage to stay awake... when you see your baby looking like that it's time to put them down in thier cot!!

scrumptiouscrumpets Mon 05-Dec-16 09:59:15

DS1 was always fed to sleep until he was 4 months or so, then it stopped working, so I fed him and put him down fully awake. He learnt to drop off himself. They do learn but you need to give it time, and you can't expect it to work immediately (as with everything baby-related! You wouldn't expect him to guzzle down a massive meal the first time you give him solids, would you?). Besides, he might simply not be ready yet - keep trying, but don't fret if it doesn't work. If you insist on trying (even if you do end up putting him down fully asleep), it'll work sooner or later.

Inthenick Mon 05-Dec-16 10:07:52

I think they don't do it till a certain stage, and you can't know when that will be for each individual. I just put my baby down and run as I've 3 under 3 and there's always some other chaos needing me but usually I had to leg it back in as baby kicked off. Then suddenly one day she didn't kick off and 20mins later I realised I hadn't been dragged back into her and she was asleep. Since then, I plop her in the cot and leave for naps and bedtime and 95% of the time she coos and goes off to sleep.

I think people always fail to realise that babies and children need to learn how to do stuff but we give up too easily and are too quick to say 'oh my baby hates that etc.'
My philosophy is that you decide how you want things to work in your house and then you train the children accordingly and most importantly, consistently. They will get it eventually.

spacefrog35 Mon 05-Dec-16 10:19:27

My DD went in her cot for naps etc awake & self settled from 16 weeks old. She changed her mind at 7 months and will now only nap on me hmm I've come to the conclusion they pretty much do what they fancy. I think the problem might be she can't read so she doesn't know what the baby books say she is supposed to do wink Do what works and when it stops working try something else.

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