4 month old sleeping well for DH but not me

[AprilShowers16]

My DS is four months old and since he was about a month old I have slept in the spare room with him and done night feeds (bf) as the cot doesn't fit in our bedroom. I don't mind doing this and the night feeds don't bother me that much (although obviously it would be lovely to get more sleep and to move back into my own bedroom with DH). He's always changing and goes through stages of sleeping better but the last few weeks has woken every 2-3 hours and fed. However there have been 3 nights in this time where DH has slept in the room with him (with a bottle) to give me a break and all of those times he has slept amazingly and only woken once to feed between 10pm and 7am.

Has anyone else experienced similar and any advice on how to proceed and capitalise on this? He clearly doesn't need the feeds he's taken from me but it's not practical for my DH to take over at night as he works and I'm at home. Is my presence disturbing him somehow?

[bippitybopityboo]

Is it expressed breast milk your DH is giving or formula

[AprilShowers16]

Formula

We always give him a bottle of formula when we put him to bed though regardless of who it is so I don't think it's that he's more full. For me he'll wake at 1,3,4,6 and 7 (as an example) and for DH only at 3am.

[AprilShowers16]

Should have said he will wake at 7 for DH too with the above example

[NapQueen]

Maybe because he can't smell breast milk so isn't tested to wake?

When he wakes for you is he actually awake needing a feed or does he just grizzle? Could it be your dh is sleeping through the babies restless sleep whereas you would wake and feed?

[bippitybopityboo]

I think when he is with you then he could just be looking for the comfort breast feeding gives them rather than feeling hungry. Don't really have much advice for you sorry OP

[NapQueen]

Do you snore? Or does dh? It could either be waking him or acting as white noise and keeping him asleep

Either way, I'd say dh can be on night duty from now on for 5/6 nights a week

[AprilShowers16]

Haha napqueen I think that's what DH is afraid of! He's actually ill tonight citing his lack of sleep the last few nights! Such a lightweight

He does properly cry rather than just grizzle so I don't think DH can be sleeping through it. I wondered about the snoring thing as I snored loads when I was pregnant and no idea if it's stopped now. I'm inclined to think it's the breast milk smell though - although amazing if he can smell it across the room

bippity its definitely comfort feeding as sometimes he will take a dummy instead and fall back to sleep straight away so I just he just wants to suckle rather than food. However if he won't take a dummy I can't really get him to calm down any other way.

I read that you shouldn't feed your baby any hours at night that he has proven that he can sleep through - but I don't know practically how that works

[NapQueen]

Could you wear dhs worn tshrt to bed? Mask the smell

[rebeccaroskellthomas]

AprilShowers16 this is totally like what my LG was like. If she could smell me, she'd wake more and want to constantly be on the boob. If she was with my partner she's sleep deeper. But this was last week, and she's 1! We've done some sleep training but it's not recommended for babies as young as your little one. There is a sleep regression around 4 months so that could be contributing towards it as well. If you want to continue sleeping with LB then maybe do half and half with your partner so you both get rest. Or maybe consider a side car type cot?

[Tumtitum]

OP mine is a little older (9 months) and in her own room. I'll probably jinx it now but when DH does bedtime she always sleeps better. It's as if not seeing me before she sleeps she doesn't expect to see me and get fed as much when she wakes ? Could DH do bedtime even if you sneak in to sleep after she's asleep and see if that helps?