20 month old sleep nightmare

[Lovelymonkeyninetynine]

I'm looking for some advice for dd who is still a bad sleeper. Never slept through the night and will only fall asleep on my chest. I was able to transfer her to her cot (she wakes again once or twice and I often feed her back to sleep with a bottle, only once a night but yes I know I know I shouldn't.)
But now she wakes up when I try to move her off me so it takes me ages to get her down. She's co slept with me since birth, not an active choice really but she has an older sib who I didn't want to wake and she also had awful colic when tiny. Help! How do I change this! Or is it just a matter of riding it out? We've never had any sleep issues with older dc.

[FATEdestiny]

Honestly? I think you've left it too late to be able to make changes now. In your position I would reset my expectations and settle in with accepting longer term cosleeping.

[Lovelymonkeyninetynine]

Yes fate I think you're right about the co sleeping and actually I don't mind that. It's more he lack of sleeping through the night, which has now been made worse as she seems to be having tantrums during the night too now, joy!!

[scrumptiouscrumpets]

I don't think you've left it too late, but your only option will involve a lot of tears and screaming: CC. At 20 months, I can't see how you could get her to change her sleeping habits without some tears. Personally, I do think it would be the kinder option in the long run though, because she needs a decent night's sleep just as much as you do.
If you don't want to do that, then ride it out, but who knows how long that is going to take?!

[BumWad]

I am no expert but surely it can't be too late?

I have no advice but could you attach a bed to yours and roll her onto her own bed. Do it gradually? Then maybe move her bed to the other side of the room etc.

Good luck!

[rebeccaroskellthomas]

I definitely don't think it's too late. Is there anyway your older child can sleep over at a relatives or friends for a couple of nights to get the worst of the crying out of the way when they're not there? My LG is 1 so younger than yours but we started CC 5 days ago and it's going really well.

It's not nice but you all need some decent sleep. We did also try the gradual retreat but that just made my LG more angry that we were there but not picking her up.

[Lovelymonkeyninetynine]

Thanks for your replies everyone. I know I can't do cc, it's not me, but I like the idea of moving her bed next to ours and doing a gradual change. I'm hoping as she gets older separation anxiety might lessen a bit anyway.

[scrumptiouscrumpets]

What do you do for naps?

[Lovelymonkeyninetynine]

I'm afraid for naps she falls asleep in the car. Occasionally has a good 2 hour nap if I can transfer her to cot but often she sleeps on the go in car or buggy for 45 mins or so.
I'm sure this is a major part of the problem, with dc1 I was absolutely regimental about nap times, settling in cot, bedtimes etc and I'm sure it paid off. But when dd was born I didn't have much (any!) support and had to muddle through!

[babypeach]

Lovely I have no advice I'm afraid. My ds is 12 months but otherwise your post could've been written by me! My DD was sleeping all night in cot by this but ds had horrid reflux and digestive issues so could only sleep on my chest and has never really moved beyond that apart from 2-3hour bursts which now seem impossible too! I also can't face cc and he does sleep as Lon as he is literally on me but its not very relaxing! Here's hoping we find the answer!