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Awful mother!!!

(14 Posts)
DariaJask95 Wed 23-Nov-16 21:04:59

I feel like an awful mother. My daughter is a piece of work when it comes to bedtime. She cries for hours and it cooks me up inside! It makes me want to curl up in a ball and scream.

She's such a lovely girl during the day. We have lovely times together. But when it comes to an evening, it's a battle. I know I shouldn't be angry. I should just get on with it, but it's hard. Especially because I try everything: we cuddle, I stroke her, try to comfort feed her and nothing. She just screams for hours. My partner runs away to the living room and I'm left alone with this screaming child that cannot be tamed in any possible way. I even try to put her into our bed but that makes it even worse.

It's awful but I feel relived when she finally falls asleep.

I cannot talk to my partner about it because he gets annoyed with me. He says that I bitch about her screAming to him and then I feel bad about it. But it's just so hard! He doesn't get it cause he goes to work, yes he works hard to provide for us but it means that he's not here for most of the bad times.

Sorry I just had to get that off my chest.

FATEdestiny Wed 23-Nov-16 21:11:02

It sounds hard. How old is She?

DariaJask95 Wed 23-Nov-16 21:34:56

She's only 6 months old...

Atlanticblue76 Wed 23-Nov-16 21:45:14

It's sounds as if he's not very supportive. There's nothing wrong with being relieved once she's asleep. It's horrid when baby won't stop crying but it's pretty crappy of him to leave you to it.
What sort of bedtime routine do you have? Does she nap in the day at all?

MakingBaconPancakes Wed 23-Nov-16 21:58:56

Aw you poor things. It will get better flowers.

Your partner needs to help in some way. If he can't stand the screaming, can he do the other bed time routine stuff so you get a little break before you put her to bed? If he does the bath? We did a warm bottle in the dark right before bed, and he usually dozed off a little bit, but not completely, then put him in his cot with a dummy next to him. If he made a noise, we wouldn't rush in unless he really cried. I read somewhere that babies do talk to themselves before they go to sleep to process what they have been through.

BTW, I love DS endlessly, but its lovely when he goes to bed wine

DariaJask95 Wed 23-Nov-16 21:59:53

She has two naps during the day, then from 5 till 7 she's up and at 7 I put her to bed. She's bathed at 6 and she's put in her pjs. Then at 7 she's put into her cot I dim the lights and she's given a dummy. I stroke her and then it starts! sad

Ellieboolou27 Wed 23-Nov-16 22:03:18

Try making first nap about 9.30am for and hour or so then another nap from 12.30-1 for few hours, the nap in the afternoon seems a bit late as your putting her to bed 2 hours after she's had her last nap

MakingBaconPancakes Wed 23-Nov-16 22:03:48

Does she sleep through once she goes to sleep?

Ellieboolou27 Wed 23-Nov-16 22:05:25

Oh and your not an awful mother, just tired and worn out, I love my kids most when they are in bed smile

WordGetsAround Wed 23-Nov-16 22:06:34

I agree with PP. Move naps earlier and try not to let her sleep later than 3pm if you can. I think it would help with bedtime.

DariaJask95 Wed 23-Nov-16 22:09:47

Thank you ladies!! It's nice to be listened to smile no she wakes up at 12 then at 4 :/ I'm going to try to change her sleeping routine. Thank you again x

DorotheaHomeAlone Wed 23-Nov-16 22:12:55

Long gap between bath and bed. What are you doing in that time? A good sleep routine should be short, easily recreated each night and clearly signpost the approaching sleepy time.

And should involve both parents! wink

ChipIn Wed 23-Nov-16 22:25:08

You're not an awful mother! My DD was similar. From closing her bedroom door it would take an hour to get her to sleep and she had to be fully asleep before going into her cot, or she'd get herself into a right state.

I just had to go with it. 6 months is still very young and it's reasonable for them not to self settle at that age, and to wake in the night. I think there's far too much pressure on babies to sleep as well as adults when they're just not programmed that way. Your DH needs to help. I would send mine in some nights and he sometimes got her to sleep easier than me, maybe she associated me with boob.

All of a sudden at around 10 months my DD became happy to go into her cot wide awake after a feed, fidget to get comfy, get her teddy, pick up a dummy and eventually get herself to sleep and not make a sound till 7am.

chollawallabollaholla Wed 23-Nov-16 23:43:13

Currently going through exactly the same thing. Started when ds was 6 months and a month later things are no better. His top teeth have just appeared so I'm guessing this is contributing to him being awake so often. You need to share the bedtimes though.

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