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No judgement or lectures, how did you cosleep

(16 Posts)
CastleFeck Tue 22-Nov-16 10:49:53

with dc1 I was terrified of SIDS. I slept in the spare bed with no duvet or pillows. I even cut the short cord off my pjs incase I strangled the baby! I was freezing and uncomfortable. Baby had a cellular blanket then a sleeping bag. We all survived.

Dc2 I was much more lax, I kept my pillow and duvet. I always slept with my knees up so made a sort of safe area for the baby. I was warm and comfortable. We all survived.

Both times I was a non smoking, non drinking breast feeder.

Dc3 is now on the way and although baby sleeping in a Moses basket at the side of me would be lovely it's not bloody likely so I'd like an idea of what to do this time.

What was your set-up and did it feel safe?

kimlo Tue 22-Nov-16 10:55:19

I kept my pillow, but swaped the quilt for a thin blanket. Dd1 was on top of my blanket with her own on top of her. Dd2 was swaddled, but Im sure swaddling and cosleeping isnt advised now.

I was freezing, not do much with dd2 as shes summer born but dd1 has a winter birthday.

Both coslept until they went on to bottles.

FruitCider Tue 22-Nov-16 10:55:48

When my baby was new born I bent my knees up and had them in the space between my chin and my knees, well down from the pillow. As they got older (6+ months) I put them on top of my quilt. Before then I slept in jogging bottoms and a jumper and used a quilt cover without a quilt in it on me.

JohnLapsleyParlabane Tue 22-Nov-16 10:58:45

We had a bednest crib on my side of the bed and made it up with a single sheet that went from the furthest side of the bednest to my husbands side of our bed, creating completely smooth sleeping surface. We had a winter baby so I slept in a zip up onesie with a nursing bra or vest underneath, and she slept in vest and babygro covered by a Cellular blanket and later a grobag. On nights when I needed more space my husband would take himself off to the spare room.
Our set up felt very safe. We followed safe cosleeping guidance which I found on Kellymom or milkmeg I'm not sure which.

JohnLapsleyParlabane Tue 22-Nov-16 10:59:39

And I kept my pillow but slept on my arm mostly.

FATEdestiny Tue 22-Nov-16 11:51:12

I only ever coslept occasionally with my children. Have you thought about taking one side off the cot and butting it up to your bed? It becomes an extension on your bed, you can cuddle right in, but keeps baby in a seperate space.

Worked for me anyway.

When we dud cosleep I continued using my duvet and pillow. Super king size bed so loads of room. I'd shift my pilows across into centre of bed, DH stayed the other side. I used to wrap the duvet all the way around and under me, but only bottom half of me.

Top off for easy boob access. Towel under me for milk spray.

None of this is within SIDS recommendations. But everyone has to make their own judgment on risk management.

Islacornx Tue 22-Nov-16 12:11:34

I currently co-sleep with my 6MO DD, she wakes up at least 3 times still through the night to BF so don't think I'd cope if I wasn't co sleeping blush

She sleeps in between me and my DP or I sleep in the middle and she's next to me (dependant upon what side I last BF on) on top of the covers in her sleeping bag. The top of my bed is boxed in by fitted wardrobes and I place bolster cushions down the side so she can't bump her head if she moves. She's always at the top of the bed out the way of any cushions or other covers and has her own little space xx

MsStricty Tue 22-Nov-16 12:16:09

My DP adjusted the height of our DS's cot to the height of our mattress, and removed the bars on that side, so that essentially he was lying right next to me but we both had our own space. We could put our hands out to each other and touch; I could check on him; I could bring him into bed with us to feed. Best of both worlds for me.

SirVixofVixHall Tue 22-Nov-16 12:17:37

I had a mattress on the floor in case of roll-outs. I kept my pillow but sort of squashed it so that nothing was near the baby, and I also kept the duvet, but found I naturally slept in a sort of protective curled around position. I was also bf and a non-smoker/drinker. DH was the other side of me with DD1, with DD2 she was against the wall, then me, then DD2, then DH. I only stopped co-sleeping fairly recently, they are 11 and 9 now.

CastleFeck Tue 22-Nov-16 17:27:14

Thanks for the tips.

For those of you who put a side crib/cot on your bed did you feed the baby then slide it back into its own space or just fall asleep with it in your bed. Is it possible to feed the baby in its crib so you can just sleep as you're feeding?

BertrandRussell Tue 22-Nov-16 17:31:23

We swapped our double duvet for two single ones, then put the baby on a little pile of muslins between us covered with an incredibly light crochet blanket. But we do have a king sized bed.

VilootShesCute Tue 22-Nov-16 17:33:32

I tried the cot by the side of the bed but she just wanted to cuddle all night. Was lovely. So I took away all pillows and just had a single duvet over me and a small blanket on her. I'm not going to lie there were a handful of times I woke up and she was under the duvet and there were three times in three years I woke up instinctively and when I looked at her it seemed she wasn't breathing. I gave her a poke and she took a deep breath. Maybe I was more in tune with her being right next to her all day AND night and I read that temperature and breathing regulates when they are sleeping close to you. Dh slept on sofa for three years. Only down side was that. But it was his choice as he gets up stupidly early every day for work and we both didn't feel safe with him in bed with us.

redtammy Tue 22-Nov-16 18:43:44

I have a next-to-me attached cot but it effectively just acts as a safety measure, stopping DD from rolling out of bed - she won't actually sleep in it, she has to be in my armpit. Some people on here have previously talked about feeding in bed lying on a big muslin then using that to transfer the baby into the cot, but I haven't yet managed it with my DD. I am another user of single duvets - DH has a normal tog one, I have a 2 tog one and wear a zip up hoody with a vest top. DD has a growbag. I use a pregnancy pillow thing - the long bean bag type, which supports my back whilst feeding and can't flop onto DD.

FATEdestiny Tue 22-Nov-16 18:44:25

For those of you who put a side crib/cot on your bed did you feed the baby then slide it back into its own space or just fall asleep with it in your bed.

Bit of both

I would usually fall asleep feeding but usually woke up within half an hour or so, because I'm not good at staying asleep while cosleeping. Baby would be in a deep sleep next to me at this point. I would slide two arms under her (she'd be in sleeping bag) and do a sliding movement to scoot her into the cot.

ClassmateHB Tue 22-Nov-16 18:45:11

I used a bed guard, and slept in the middle with my back to exH on my side, with DS latched on on his side facing me. He didn't come in until 4am, but we slept like that until 7am, from as soon as I could go on my side post section.

Nottalotta Tue 22-Nov-16 18:50:42

I didn't plan to Co sleep at all (ha....) but after a few nights of bf ds every 40 minutes I gave it at about 7 weeks old. I don't think.i slept at all the first night, and I kept a light on for several weeks so I could see exactly where he was.

I did read up on all the guidelines and realise that I didn't follow them. Ds slept between me and his dad, on top of the very thin summer quilt. We kept pillows but due to the size (big) of the bed there was a gap between mine and DH pillows. I slept defacing the middle of the bed, on my side, knees drawn up. My bottom arm was stretchedout on top of the top edge of quilt (pinning it to the bed) and ds was below that arm at boob height.

We are just now coming to the end if Co sleeping at nearly 16 months. I'll miss it, but due another baby in 10 weeks so possibly not for long!

The point of us Co sleeping was to get some sleep. Which I wouldn't have done with no pillow or quilt. Oh and neither dh or I drink or smoke or rake drugs. Dh Co slept with a starved 3 wk old kitten on his neck and managed so I was confident he'd be OK with our massive ds.

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