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22 month old waking 5+ times a night

(4 Posts)
RedCrab Sun 20-Nov-16 14:58:28

Cross posted in Parenting as I'm desperate! I'm 21 weeks and usually co sleep with her because it gets me the most sleep. But I MUST stop co sleeping before baby arrives because I can't deal with a newborn and a toddler through the night.

Sometimes she just wants to be comforted. Other times she's screamjng and doesn't want to be touched - which leaves me wondering if it's a nightmare? All the advice I've read says to leave them be until they'll accept comfort but she shares a room with DS (4) so there's that pressure to keep her quiet.

We're working on leaving her awake in the evening when she wakes up to remove me as a sleep crutch but it's tricky because she screams and I'm worried she'll wake DS. Also working on her accepting my husband going to her in the night - currently she screams at him too.

I'm so tired. I'm exhausted. Last night was the first time I slept in my own bed and I was back and forth five times with her. I eventually gave up at 4.30am and fell asleep with her. I know it's going to take hard work to train her into settling by herself but I'm just so tired sad

Should add she's never slept through but I kept thinking it would get better as her brother did eventually learn to sleep well. Think now Ive just let her develop bad sleep habits.

FATEdestiny Sun 20-Nov-16 15:27:29

I would begin with having her in a cot next to your bed, but not letting her in your bed.

Lots of reassurance, lying her back down, eye contact, caring. But you do this while lying on your bed and get in the cot.

Once this is excepted a bit more, move the cot to the other side of your room, not next to your bed (thus making way for the bewborns cot next to your bed.

You will realistically have to stick at that point until she accepts going to sleep in her cot and staying there until morning, without crying.

It's not fair to dusturb your eldest sleep, so I'd wait to move her into his room until this is sorted. Room-sharing with a toddler and newborn is much easier than bedsharing.

FATEdestiny Sun 20-Nov-16 15:28:13

But you do this while lying on your bed and get her* in the cot

RedCrab Sun 20-Nov-16 15:35:45

Ahhh sorry should have explained: I'm in their room with them - we had bunk beds with a small double as the bottom bunk. Beds are split right now next to each other and I have been sleeping with her in the small double. We've always co slept - she's never been in a cot. I'm trying to move back in with DH.

I have thought about moving DS in with DH temporarily while we go through the angry screamjng as I try to train her but I don't think he'd go for it - he is attached to his bed and room. Equally I've thought about moving DH into DS's room and DD in with me in our room - to go through the same noisy training - but then I'd only have to move her back into her own bed at some point.

So bloody complicated.

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