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How long did you cosleep and how did you know you could stop?

(22 Posts)
QueenRefusenik Tue 01-Nov-16 14:15:52

We've been having a bit of a sleep-related nightmare with our cot-dodging 10 month old recently and despite doing my best to avoid co-sleeping it's looking like that's going to be the only way any of us get any sleep for a while. I'm not wild about it and would really like to know how long people have tended to co-sleep for and how they knew they could stop - do I try him out in his cot for a week or so every now and again just to see, or are there signs we can look for?

oatybiscuits Tue 01-Nov-16 14:27:26

I was a reluctant co-sleeper but 4m sleep regression + allergies forced my hand. It completely saved my sanity and we all (3 including dh) came to love it, I side carred the cot so we had more space.
My son just turned 2 and we're beginning to phase it out, along with night weaning. I probably could have done it earlier but we're doing a renovation so didn't actually have another bedroom, and I do think the more they can understand the easier it is. Plus we are ttc so it made sense now rather than in pregnancy. Night weaning has taken priority but he loves his own bed now, I've got a single mattress on the floor and when he wakes I go through and we co-sleep from there. I think when we realised we were waking him by going to bed, and getting up in the morning, it made sense to stop, before that his sleep was so bad it didn't make much difference.

ByeByeLilSebastian Tue 01-Nov-16 14:31:09

I did it till mine was around 1, then my husband put his foot down and made me transfer him to his cot. I needed it though or I would have gone on forever!
I've always done nap times in the cot so he was already used to it. It took a couple of months before he would sleep through when I transferred him over but apart from that it was easy enough.

pileoflaundry Tue 01-Nov-16 14:49:09

I coslept with DS until he was almost 6m. He is a light sleeper, so I couldn't move an inch without waking him up, and although the cosleeping was, for me, essential to survive the night feeds and to let DH get some sleep, by 6m I was desperate to be able to rollover and sleep a bit better.

If you feel that cosleeping is the way forward, could you sleep in his room rather then him in yours? This might be a bit easier to move away from in the future.

carabos Tue 01-Nov-16 14:52:38

Co-slept with DS2 for 2.5 years as he was Bf round the clock. Put him in his own bed when weaned and he never came back into ours after that.

It was hell.

chocomochi Tue 01-Nov-16 14:56:41

Loved co-sleeping with mine until 6 and 4, as it was nightmare getting them to stay in their beds (3-6 wakes a night and we were all grumpy and tired in the morning). It was only when they understood the concept of money (they would get £1 for every week they slept in their own beds without calling out for me), that they stayed in their own beds.

thenewaveragebear1983 Tue 01-Nov-16 14:58:37

Until ds1 was about 2 and 3 months. He was a proper 'windmill sleeper' all arms and legs. He did it quite easily to be honest, and we were just firm with him and put him back in his own bed when he woke rather than straight into ours.
Ds 2 is currently 13 months and does come into our bed most nights, although he starts in his own cot in our room. He has a nasty habit of bashing his head around in the night and gave me a black eye last night with his massive rock-head. He won't be co sleeping much longer because I cannot stand the restless nights any more after pretty much 4 years of it in total.
But when he's all sleepy and snuggled in with his blanky I want him to stay forever. Not helpful I know. But there is something lovely about having them in with us, and stopping co sleeping is like admitting they are growing up...,

QueenRefusenik Tue 01-Nov-16 16:47:49

Thanks everyone! Seems to be quite a sharp divide between those going to 2+ and those stopping by ~1 which is intetesting! I have to admit there are some very nice points about co-sleeping, but that warm and snuggly feeling quickly ends in stereo snoring from ds and dp, and dp and I end up with both our arses hanging out in the cold, clinging grimly onto the edge of the (king size, ffs) bed as ds stretches out... So yes, pileoflaundry, I'd be sleeping in his room for a while, at least for the second half of the night. He goes down like a dream and usually sleeps through to the early hours in his cot OK, but even then we have to transfer him asleep and once into the early hours he sleeps too lightly to transfer and wakes up yelling in fury once he realises where he is. I simply fell asleep next to him on thr floor last night and woke up 7 hours later - the boob addict hadn't even woken to feed! And my God, now I've remembered what sweet, sweet sleep feels like I want some more...

I guess I'll keep working on getting ds into his cot awake (but drowsy?! Goddamn I hate that phrase, that is NOT a state ds has ever achieved!) but suck it up in the meantime (and put a mattress on the floor, I can barely move today!).

On being asked his opinion, DP failed to contain his glee at the prospect of being able to starfish across the whole bed for hours at s time. Grrr.

teaandbiscuitsforme Tue 01-Nov-16 18:50:37

DD is 19 months and we've made the transition to a single bed in her own room in the last couple of months and started night weaning a month ago. Last night she slept through without waking from 19:15 - 6:45 (then cuddles and BF in bed with me until 7:30 grin). Never thought my child would be one to sleep through the night!

My2centsworth Tue 01-Nov-16 18:53:24

Phased out about 15months here. Little monkey was no longer going back to sleep during feeds so no one was getting a good night's sleep. DH did it and he was in the room next door so he used to potter in at about 6 for a feed. Very handy.

Happydappy99 Tue 01-Nov-16 18:54:25

I co-slept with both of mine. DS went into his own room when was 1 without too many problems, DD is 7 and still sleeps in my bed most nights.......

fluffikins Tue 01-Nov-16 19:22:21

I put her in her own cot at 8 months but am still part time cosleeping at 16 months, so she'll start the night in hers and then if she's too hard to settle back when she wakes (and she wakes 2-3 times still) then I'll bring her in with me just to get some sleep as I work full time. I figure that as long as she starts the night in her cot it shouldn't be too difficult to eventually phase out the night wakings (ha!)

I do feel so much better when she's been in her cot more though, I find my joints seize cosleeping now

firsttimemum15 Tue 01-Nov-16 19:31:02

I'm the same fluffikins with sieved up joints and he'll yes pile for laundry I just want to roll over on my own for 5 sweet mins every morning

Nottalotta Tue 01-Nov-16 21:52:34

I starred at 7weeks after a few nights of waking every 40 minutes or less. Still semi Co sleeping now. Ds starts in his cot at 6.30pm, comes into my bed when he wakes which can be 12 or can be 3. More often towards 3.

Ohyesiam Tue 01-Nov-16 22:02:29

If it's room that's the problem, could you get another bed next to yours? We had a king size and a single, legs strapped together, so we all got enough space, and we all slept through, heaven. The only time it didn't work for me was when I in the middle, so I always made sure I got an edge.
It depends what you want, we wanted an open bed policy, so our kids always knew they could be in with us. Our dd stayed for, 5 years, our D's for 2.

Coconut0il Tue 01-Nov-16 22:07:04

About 18 months with DS1, did it gradually, his cot was pushed up to our bed with the side off to begin with. When he went into his own room we got him a double so if he woke I would get in there with him. He's 13 now and I miss those days! Luckily DS2 is only 14 months and still co sleeping now. Probably take the side off his cot soon.

QueenRefusenik Tue 01-Nov-16 23:54:22

Love the idea of extending the bed Ohyesiam but I don't think the room could take it! I wonder if like you Coconutoil we need to get him a double bed when he's old enough. He does roll around so much when he tries to get to sleep that he ends up banging against the cot bars all the time and that sets him off.

My2centsworth Wed 02-Nov-16 00:33:42

Coco we did the same not that the little beggar went back in there most nights.

OvO Wed 02-Nov-16 00:51:07

My youngest is 9 in a few weeks and is asleep beside me right now so I'm not the one for advice on this.grin

I figure he'll be a moody preteen soon enough and won't want to share anymore so I'm just enjoying him being a mummy's boy for a bit longer.

My2centsworth Wed 02-Nov-16 00:53:33

Ovo the one I claimed got out of my bed aged 15mths is beside me too aged nearly 5. blush

OvO Wed 02-Nov-16 00:58:50

The truth comes out! grin

They're just so cute, we're powerless to resist. One they can talk it's so hard to say no! The puppy dog eyes...

My2centsworth Wed 02-Nov-16 01:01:10

Yes Ovo I have been found out.

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