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Newborns and sleep- help!

(8 Posts)
Pissedoffinsomniac Sat 29-Oct-16 12:24:22

Hi everyone. DD1 is almost 3 weeks old and will only sleep if on mine or DH's chest or in the car/pram. Hates the Moses basket and being swaddled (she like her arms to be free) and is not fussed on the sleepyhead or co-sleeper either.
I'm exclusively BF and a couple of times DD and I have fallen asleep when I have fed her lying on my side in bed and got a decent stretch- 3-4hours. During the day she'll often feed to sleep but will wake up within 5 mins if I dare to put her down.

Really not keen on going down the co-sleeping route for safety reasons, and wouldn't I be making the transition to DD's own sleeping space (i.e. Her own cot) more difficult in the long run? I know it's far too early to implement any kind of routine but is there anything I can do to make DD a bit less dependent on DH and I for a decent stretch of sleep?
Thanks in advance smile

FATEdestiny Sat 29-Oct-16 13:16:57

I would retry a swaddle.

Not sure what makes you think she disliked being swaddled because newborn don't have a sense of preference yet, just basic biological needs. Feeling secure if one of these needs and that is why she likes being held. The swaddle replicates a similar secure 'held' feeling. Especially if tight around arms/shoulders.

It also makes transferring 'putting baby down' easier.

If baby if fighting against swaddled arms, that's a sign of being over tired. Newborn awake time (between one nap and the next) is likely to be only 20-30 minutes, and that's 24 hours a day. So it might be a case of:

Nappy check
Quick 5 min cuddle
Feed again to make sure of a full tummy
Wind cuddle until asleep

..repeated constantly all day and all night.

dickiedoodah Sun 30-Oct-16 04:44:55

I'm dealing with this also, DC3 and still no idea what I'm doing!! He hasn't done more than a three hour stretch at five weeks. I try swaddling after his cluster feeding in the evenings and he may sleep for a couple of hours but then he ends up in bed with me. I'm in the guest room so I have more space. I've started out like this with all three and the co sleeping never lasts for me. I manage to get them out of my bed and into a cot it's just when they're so little is the easiest way to get the most amount of sleep. The routine that fatedestiny sets out is exactly what I do all day. At three weeks I'm not at all surprised she only wants to sleep on you or your dh. Mine spends most of the day in a sling sleeping. If you haven't already tried a baby carrier or a wrap I recommend it.

tootiredtothinkofaclevername Sun 30-Oct-16 05:04:12

Tonight we finally had a bit of success with my 6 day old. After her last feed we let her sleep as long as she liked on DH while I got some sleep. He then brought her to me for a feed. Fed one side and he changed/ swaddled her. Fed the other side and held her for 20 minutes while unwarmed the sleepyhead with a heating pad. (Thanks to MN!). I then did the roll down method transfer into the prewarmed sleepyhead and it worked! We are now back to cosleeping for the rest of the night but I'm hopeful that we will get there for each night feed.

Wildidle Sun 30-Oct-16 05:10:30

My DS was the same and would fight his way out of a swaddle every time (he clearly hated it despite what a pp says hmm). We ended up putting him in a Gro Snug at night time, which at least stopped him waking himself up by hitting himself in the face.

Pissedoffinsomniac Sun 30-Oct-16 18:36:32

Thanks for all the replies - fate shall try your routine, DD definitely does not like swaddling as she screams until I free her arms!
dickie Got a Connecta carrier and that's good for daytime naps, DH back to work tomorrow though so won't be able to squeeze in a daytime nap... how did you transition your DCs from your bed to their own cot?

What's the roll down method tootired?

wildidle have bought a GroSnug but is a co-sleeper cot, with a sleepyhead in it, then DD on top of it in a GroSnug overkill??

I don't mind having to wake up to feed, I would just like to actually go to sleep with DD being in her own space so I am not anxious to the max about squashing her in bed...

tootiredtothinkofaclevername Sun 30-Oct-16 19:42:58

Put the baby down crown of head touching first and literally roll down the spine one bit by bit with the feet being last. Seems to keep them happiest when transferring.

dickiedoodah Mon 31-Oct-16 20:41:30

I honestly can't remember how i managed to do it. I always start off by putting them in the cot for bed and as they get bigger they sleep a bit longer. Once they can take more milk they sleep a little bit longer. I find that the more tired I am the more lazy I am at getting out of bed to feed. At some point I decide to stop feeding in bed and sit in a chair. This way I can't fall asleep feeding and I'm forced to focus on getting him to sleep in his cot. I love having co sleeping as a fall back if I'm exhausted but I don't enjoy it.

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