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I am stuck and ran out of ideas.

(7 Posts)
bangingmyheadoffabrickwall Wed 26-Oct-16 02:04:48

My very lovely little sleeper has now decided that sleep is no longer 'in fashion' and instead has made an executive decision to 'not do it anymore come midnight'. angry

Bedtime routines are no different and she goes to sleep anywhere from 7pm to 7:30pm and she USED TO sleep a good 11.5 to 12 hours solid.

Now she is waking at 11:30pm/midnight. She wakes crying and we do the usual routine of sitting in the dark downstairs in total silence having a cuddle before putting her down after 15-20 minutes. But instead of dropping off for the night during those rare 'once a month' occasions, she is now waking EVERY 1.5 to 2 hours.

The only thing 'routine' is her waking up at the same time and we cannot find anything that is making her wake up.

Tried our 'routine', tried co-sleeping but that doesn't work because I actually don't sleep and she is so 'hyper' during her 'sleep' that she ends up risking going over the edge of the bed head first and I have to retrieve her from the sides, bottom, our pillows - every-fucking-where - several times.

I am now trying the tactic of coming downstairs, putting on the news, ignoring her blah, blah, blah. We've been up two hours now (now 2am) and she has gone from cuddles to shouting daddy and her brother's name to running around the room like a loon.

My perfect 'teacher stare' is not having any effect except to cause her to laugh and then trying to launch herself off the sofa.

Please help. I know it is likely a sleep regression (coupled with the fact she is harbouring snot) but I am out of ideas to make this a painless transition over the coming days, weeks months, years, eternity!!!!

Oh and she is almost 20 month old.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba Wed 26-Oct-16 03:18:07

I think she's just not tired enough. I'd try to cut down or cut out daytime sleep for a few days and see if that makes a difference.

Or try and give her just an extra bit of food at dinner time, in case it's hunger that's waking her up. Mine always had sudden hungry days & weeks before a growth spurt and sometimes sleep was effected.

It's just a habit, exhausting as it is for you, she will eventually grow out of it.

FATEdestiny Wed 26-Oct-16 09:46:20

Don't get her up and come downstairs! That's possibly the worse thing to do in the middle of the night. You would be better sitting yourself next to her cot (get a confy chair, you may spend a long time in it) and being a broken record:

■ "Lie down. Sleep time now. We lie quietly and still to sleep. Nan night"
■ Firm hand on chest. Eye contact. Ooze care and compassion.
■ Stroke, pat, tickle, reassure. Shush every now and again

☆ Baby stands up

■ Immediately lie baby back down.
■ "Lie down. Sleep time now. We lie quietly and still to sleep. Nan night"
■ Firm hand on chest. Eye contact. Ooze care and compassion.
■ Stroke, pat, tickle, reassure. Shush every now and again

☆ Baby cries

■ Immediately resettle (dummy reinsert?). "Shush now"
■ "Lie down. Sleep time now. We lie quietly and still to sleep. Nan night"
■ Firm hand on chest. Eye contact. Ooze care and compassion.
■ Stroke, pat, tickle, reassure. Shush every now and again

☆ Baby tries to get up again

■ Immediately lie baby back down.
■ "Lie down. Sleep time now. We lie quietly and still to sleep. Nan night"
■ Firm hand on chest. Eye contact. Ooze care and compassion.
■ Stroke, pat, tickle, reassure. Shush every now and again

☆ Baby screaming

■ Just stay right there and reassure through the tears .
■ "Lie down. Sleep time now. We lie quietly and still to sleep. Nan night"
■ Firm hand on chest. Eye contact. Ooze care and compassion.
■ Stroke, pat, tickle, reassure. Shush every now and again

And so on...

Stay until fully and completely asleep and then escape the room silent ninja style. Then eeapeat the next night. And the next.

Consistency is key. Baby will soon learn that lying down quietly and going to sleep is his only option.

FATEdestiny Wed 26-Oct-16 09:49:43

Oh, and I'm not sure about him being not tired enough. He might in fact be over tired. Being too exhausted can cause restless, broken sleep.

What's baby's daytime sleep like?

At 20 months mine was just moving from two 2 hour naps (9-11, 1-3) to one 3 or 4 hour nap (11-2/3).

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall Wed 26-Oct-16 22:13:03

Crikey FATEdestiny that is quite a 'script'. confused.

She dropped her morning nap about a month ago. She now has one nap in the afternoon. Her 'down time' can vary depending on what we are doing and where we are. Usually it is about 1-1:30pm for about an hour and 15 minutes. This is because I have to wake her to collect her DS from school. On a weekend, she dictates how much sleep she has which isn't much longer - about an extra 30 minutes. Sometimes she doesn't have a scheduled nap if we are out during the day and she will either sleep in the car to and from our destinations and/or a 30 minute power nap in the buggy. She copes well when our day follows that routine.

As for going downstairs - it has always been our 'family' routine. Always worked, until now of course, as the room is dark and silent and it means she cannot disturb the rest of the household which I think is unfair, especially for my DS. Last night it was obvious that a darkened room wasn't going to work so the TV went on for my benefit not hers.

I know they can have a sleep regression around 18 months (she was a late preemie) so 'age adjusted' and coupled with snot and a cough, I suppose it is to be expected. I was at my wits end last night and began to worry that this was a pattern beginning to emerge.

Hoping for a better night. I will say, firm hand I know won't work. Lying her down instead of picking her up has an inconsolable effect on her and she becomes hysterical (true drama queen!) unless picked up. As soon as she is in my arms she is settled and calm. It's putting her back down and her realising that 1.5 hours later I am back in my own bed that is troubling.

Co-sleeping doesn't work for us. I wish it did but unless someone can come along and say it is ethically correct and is a sign of good parenting to put a toddler in restraints in a bed, it just won't happen!

Deep down I know it is a phase. I hope it's days not weeks!

lovelilies Wed 26-Oct-16 22:25:24

I think FATE has the right idea.
You came here asking advice (I think?) but still seem happy taking DD downstairs in the night to sit in the dark because that's your 'family routine' confused
Fwiw I remember DS doing this around the same age. We co- sleep though so can't offer any other advice.
Hope she hoes back to normal soon

FATEdestiny Wed 26-Oct-16 22:50:58

The "script" basically is just repeating the same sentence and actions over and over and over again. You can take it or leave it. I was just offering a suggestion.

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