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Please tell me I'm not alone...

(34 Posts)
QueenRefusenik Sat 22-Oct-16 03:56:32

... Listening to my baby scream next door with dp after spending an hour failing to feed him to sleep. I know I shouldn't even be doing that but I've had about 3 non-consecutive hours sleep in the last three days since we put him in his own room and I'm starting to lose the plot. He's 9.5 months and has decided the early hours are the right time to practice trying to crawl. Oh, God, someone tell me the dreaded 9 month sleep regression ends sometime because I can't take much more of this. I feel like such a bloody failure right now.

LauraPalmersBodybag Sat 22-Oct-16 04:05:20

Hey Queen I'm right there with you. Stillf feeding to sleep 90% of the time (now in fact) and co-sleeping plenty. Didn't intend for it to happen but my daughter cried so much as a newborn that I would have done anything to stop it.

Tonight there is thankfully less screaming - though she does have a stomach bug so 2 hourly wake ups and I have dreadful insomnia. Though a few days ago I was in your exact position.

Can't offer much of a solution but can hand hold and say that if you're up taking care of your baby (and that involves being upset by listening to him cry) then you're definitely not a failure. Babies are wiley things .... I fear i'all never sleep again.


minnymoobear Sat 22-Oct-16 04:12:34

My baby is 10 years old now but I remember those nights well!

Its a horrid time - but one you do get thru eventually! I had 2 colicky babies and about 2 years of no sleep sad

You're a great mum who just needs some sleep. Can you nap in the daytime?

QueenRefusenik Sat 22-Oct-16 04:13:18

Ah, sleep... I feel I didn't appreciate it enough back in the day! I think things are calming down in there, ds has gone quiet. The feeding to sleep/co-sleeping thing is probably not ideal but it does usually work. Not tonight though.... Poor thing does have a nasty cough too, which doesn't help. OK, I think I may be able to get my head down for a little. Fingers crossed for you too bodybag, I appreciate the hand-holding - hopefully I WON'T catch you later because we're both blissfully catching zs!

Tootsiepops Sat 22-Oct-16 04:15:24

My 11 month old daughter went through this, and it coincided with her going in to her own room. It was also around the time she started nursery, so she was constantly getting coughs and colds and viruses. She was also cutting teeth and had horrible separation anxiety.

She went from being a 9pm to 6am sleeper (straight through) to getting up anything between 2 to 6 times per night. I was broken and on a fast track to antidepressants.

Then, just as suddenly as it all started, it stopped. She now sleeps soundly from 7pm to 6am with only very occasional wakenings and if she does wake, it's only once. We didn't do any sleep training or any CIO - I always got up to get her when she was upset. Not that I'm judging because now, after being so sleep deprived, you do what you have to do to get some rest.

In her case, it went on for 12 weeks a while, but it did get better.

However - I'm still getting over the trauma of it, and my body still wakes up half way through the night purely because I got used to functioning on no sleep, so now if I've slept more than four consecutive hours, I am raring to go. Which is no good at 4am grin

LauraPalmersBodybag Sat 22-Oct-16 04:16:47

Oooh I hope so! Crossing my fingers for us. Rest up

LauraPalmersBodybag Sat 22-Oct-16 04:24:54

tootsiestories like yoursgive me hope!

I bumped into a school friend, his wife and their 4 month old a couple of months ago and when I asked how they were all getting on the parents replied 'oh he's sleeping through'. I jokingly asked what they'd done and the smug response was 'a good routine and a lot of hard work'. FUCK OFF. I nearly head butted them. I have it on good authority that they're all crazy little tyrants and some sleep but most don't.


QueenRefusenik Sat 22-Oct-16 05:36:42

Aaaaaand we're back. DP got him down for about a half hour or so, then he came raring back, so I've just fed him again and this time he's out. I don't have much faith in it sticking though!

2 yrs of no sleep - Minnie, I can only hope you get your own back now they're older by telling them they've 'missed the best part of the day' when they surface at midday! DP has promised to take ds out tomorrow so I may get some kip though I'm not good at daytime sleeping generally.

Tootsie, thank you, that was exactly what I needed to hear! There is hope! I've always been dubious about sleep training but felt I had to try - the 'no cry sleep solution' turned out to be a total misnomer and I'm too soft for even sssh-pat it PUPD (and DD has too much stamina). Good to know we're not doomed!

Bodybag, the parents of good sleepers are damn smug aren't they? TBF, ds had a week of sleeping through at about 3 months and dp and I were patting ourselves on the back for being such excellent parents.... You don't know till you know, do you?

Right, I think he's out. Time for the dreaded cot transfer. Wish me luck...

Tootsiepops Sat 22-Oct-16 05:57:13

My daughter first slept through the night at 4 weeks old. She continued to do so until 7 months. I can assure you, if you get a baby that sleeps it is FUCK ALL to do with routine and hard work. It is sheer luck. Smug arseholes.

My husband and I used to go to bed every night thanking our lucky stars we had a sleeper. We were complete and utter incompetents as new and first time parents, and our baby slept despite us, not due to us. We certainly weren't sitting around congratulating ourselves on our superior parenting and feeling smug about it.

And now that my little girl is sleeping through the night again, we're back to being incredibly grateful.

Now...if I could just convince my body there's no longer a need to be awake between 3am and 6am, life would be grand grin

DoAndroidsDreamofEwentheSheep Sat 22-Oct-16 06:07:38

No sleep here either! Will feed to sleep in our bed then soon as try to move screams place down and wide awake!!

LauraPalmersBodybag Sat 22-Oct-16 08:02:15

Good morning! Well....morning anyway. I managed about 2 and a bit hours of sleep and now my daughter is up for the day.

Sorry to hear you all had such a rough night.

If you'll allow may I set the scene..,, I'm currently in a budget hotel just off the motorway in Sheffield. My 9 month old daughter has the runs, so does my husband and I have swollen tonsils and have found my voice has disappeared. This is the view from my window. We're meant to be going to a wedding today, having drove 6 hours to get here...but after last night and given the state we're in we're just about to pack up and go home.

Oh, and our hotel was so bad when we arrived that we immediately booked an airbnb for tonight. Have since cancelled and asked for a refund, but there's a possibility we'all be paying for 2 places that we won't be staying in tonight!

Just needed to get that out there. 😂

Hope you're all sleeping whilst someone else looks after the respective children.

LauraPalmersBodybag Sat 22-Oct-16 08:02:54

Oops, here's the photo!

QueenRefusenik Sat 22-Oct-16 09:14:34

OK Bodybag, you 'win'! I can't beat that for grimness! Things actually improved a little at our end - the cot transfer worked, ds stayed down till 7ish then I brought him into our bed and managed another half hour or so. DP is currently feeding him banana pancakes downstairs beforr taking him out so I might catch a few more zs before I have to haul my sorry arse out of bed and do some tidying up before the family visit tomorrow!

Hope you finally got yours down DoAndroids - it's downright scary when the usually infallible feed to sleep fails (and bloody annoying if you've tried every trick in the book to avoid doing it in the first place).

Hope everyone recovers soon and the refund works out Bodybag.

And in the nicest possible way I hope NOT to see any of you here tonight! Keep soldiering on, guys! brew

MYA2016 Sat 22-Oct-16 22:34:31

Another one here... 9.5mo ds was sleeping 8pm-7am. Now waking multiple times between bedtime and 11pm. By 11pm refuses point blank to be put down in his cot (awake or asleep). We can go on for hours and hours and hours he just doesn't get tired of standing back up and screaming at me (also laughing just to really piss me off)
Ends up in our bed every night and im really stressing over 'bad habits' confused

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers Sun 23-Oct-16 01:40:12

You're not alone. Ds (13 mo) has never had a period of sleeping well. He tends to have a couple of hours when we first put him down then he's up every twenty minutes to every hour and gets up at 4

I am utterly broken. Mentally and physically. No amount of sleep training/consultants/paediatrician intervention has helped. He's clingy, incredibly sensitive and capable of screaming for hours. Ive considered suicide several times. I can't cope with much more.
The smug types can fuck right off. They have no idea.

onestepforwardtenstepsback Sun 23-Oct-16 01:46:31

I feel for you my ds2 is 4years 6months and still doesn't sleep. I'm a walking zombie constantly in fact I don't actually know how I keep functioning.
I would love to tell ya it gets better but I can't sad

QueenRefusenik Sun 23-Oct-16 20:44:51

Oh God - four years, onestep?! We were vaguely contemplating a dc2 but no way now unless ds pulls his socks up... Things were slightly better last night, he just partied 1.30-4am rather than screaming. And the laughing, as Mya says. Makes me want to cry, especially when it cimes after you crack at the arse end of a 90minute PUPD session and settle down to feed... Was still utterly broken this morning - then we end up 'lying in' which throws any attempt at a routine out of sync, then he won't nap and the whole thing turns into a hideous vicious circle of exhaustion.

The bubbles, flowers. I'm not quite as ground down as you sound yet but believe me I feel you. Is there any way you can get any help at all? DP is suffering here too but we can at least tag-team and support one another. Hope someone's got your back? Keep posting if you need a sympathetic ear and virtual hugs!

The only potentially good thing is that he started to commando crawl today - I've heard rumours that once they're crawling they burn off some excess energy and sleep better. Right? RIGHT?!

QueenRefusenik Sun 23-Oct-16 20:45:35

Aagh, not the bubbles, TheHubbles. Goddamn autocorrect!

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers Sun 23-Oct-16 21:09:35

I'll pretend I didn't read that onestep - jeez you poor thing ...

Commando crawling ? Made a very short term difference then alas he upped his fitness to compensate (sorry.) I'm hoping learning to walk will really wear him out though ....

onestepforwardtenstepsback Sun 23-Oct-16 21:15:13

Yep 4 years I swear they don't tell ya these bits grin. I keep hoping one day he'll learn what sleep is grin.
If he'd of been my first I don't think I would of had any more.
Hope you all get some more sleep tonight, we're just starting on the books and jigsaws

QueenRefusenik Sun 23-Oct-16 21:15:43

Definitely. Absolutely. Walking will do the trick! Hang on in there, guys...

DoofusMcXmas1 Sun 23-Oct-16 21:22:57

onestep a hand of solidarity here...ds 4 years 6 months and still waking anywhere between 2 and 6 times a night. As with hubbles no amount of 'help' from GP, paediatrician, HV or sleep practitioner has made the blindest bit of difference. Oh well, once he gets to his teens he'll find out just how much the lack of sleep has pissed me off 😂

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers Sun 23-Oct-16 21:26:30

Sympathies doofus! (Weeps despairingly at though of ds not sleeping for another 3 years...)
The clock is ticking for me (late 30s) and we can't leave it that long to have another one. I'm really really hoping he will sleep soon because I had a really tough pregnancy with him and I will struggle to go through that again on no sleep.
He has SO MUCH energy - I don't know where he gets it from because he never eats either. He breaks all laws of thermodynamics. Once he's walking .. please... please... sleep

SprogletsMum Sun 23-Oct-16 21:37:34

Another one here. Dd is almost 2 and used to be a brilliant sleeper. Last night she was awake from 1-4 then we ended up asleep downstairs because of dps snoring.
She fell asleep in the car at 4.30 today and is now still wide awake. I'm 14 weeks pregnant with number 4 and so so so tired I can barely function. Hope everyone's dc sleep better today!

DoofusMcXmas1 Sun 23-Oct-16 21:54:49

Oh God I certainly won't be having another one 😂😂 almost 5 years of no sleep I won't be doing it again!!

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