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I don't want to put DD in her own room :-(

(45 Posts)
Mummyhug Thu 20-Oct-16 23:11:29

My DD2 is now 5 months old so we're coming up to the big 6 month bedroom move and it's making me really nervous just thinking about it.
I never had this problem with DD1, she moved into her own room at 6 months with no problems at all so I don't know what's happening to me!
We have a chicco next to me crib and I love having her so close, I never had that closeness with DD1 in a Moses basket. I'm terrified to lose the connection we have because we've made the decision that she is our last child and I'm never going to experience this kind of love again.
I'm not ready to let her go to her own room yet. I don't want to mention it to my husband yet as I don't think he'll agree with me but I'm really tempted to bring her cot bed into our room and have it right up against my bed like the chicco is.
Has anybody else kept their babies with them past 6 months? How to i bring up the subject with my husband?

carmenta Thu 20-Oct-16 23:13:30

We had DD in our room until she was about 14 months. Not because I particularly wanted to, we were due to move and there was nowhere else for her to go. But it actually worked really well and I liked the closeness.

Wolfiefan Thu 20-Oct-16 23:14:27

Why does it have to be at six months? Does he want her in her own room?
Do what suits your child. If they would sleep better in their own room fine. If they prefer to be with you then maybe keep it like that for a while.
With DD (last child) I slept in the spare room with her until we were ready to have her in her own room. Shared a double!

Haudyerwheesht Thu 20-Oct-16 23:16:10

Don't move her then! My kids were in our room until toddlerhood. No issues.

OytheBumbler Thu 20-Oct-16 23:19:10

I kept mine in until she went into her big bed at 2. She would wake in the night and hold my hand. It was lovely.
There are no rules, she's your child.
Do as you think best.

BlurtonOnKites4eva Thu 20-Oct-16 23:21:29

Don't then! It's not a rule that you have to put them in there own room at 6 months.

For what it's worth we had a cot up to the bed as we lived in a one bed but we've moved this week so we put the cot in DD's new room. She's slept in our bed everynight grin 13 months.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Thu 20-Oct-16 23:29:34

Is there room in what will be her own room for a double bed for you to share?
After moving house whilst pg, stripping the main bedroom and being in what was to be DD's bedroom we left our bed in her room and moved into another room. She is in a cot but anytime she's ill, has bad sleep, DH is snoring I have somewhere to cuddle her/feed her in her own room and I'm not taking her into "our" bedroom so she's not getting used to that.

Muddlingalongalone Thu 20-Oct-16 23:35:08

My dd is 2 next week & still sleeps with me every night from about 11 onwards.
She's my last baby & it means we both get more sleep & she wakes up every morning with a beaming smile.
Tbh I prefer sharing with my 5 year old coz she doesn't touch me constantly, but can't have them both in coz I end up with no sleep & grumpy.
If she still fits in the crib keep her there I say

Mummyhug Thu 20-Oct-16 23:45:01

I guess I assumed it's just the done thing that they go in their own room at 6 months just because they can. Its such a relief to see someone say that it's ok, I suppose I've had a lot of pressure from older family members with "is she in her own room yet?" Since she was two weeks old it's put me in the wrong frame of mind.
What do I do about the sleeping situation? She's quickly outgrowing the chicco so I'm going to have to bring the cot bed in but can I take the side off and have it against the bed and at level with my mattress like the chicco or should I keep the side on now she's getting older? I just love that she reaches out to me at night and touches me for reassurance that I'm there. It also makes breastfeeding easier to slide her into my bed for a feed and then back into her own bed with as little disturbance as possible.
I wish there was room in her room for a double bed but there's barely room for her cot bed as she's in the box bedroom, that certainly would make life easier.
Thank you for the reassurance smile

OhtoblazeswithElvira Thu 20-Oct-16 23:49:34

Do what feels right. They are little for such a short time! You could tell pushy relatives that you are redecorating her room? It sounds like you have a lovely bond, so enjoy it!

ToujeoQueen Thu 20-Oct-16 23:50:25

Do it when you feel ready. I honestly don't understand this obsession with putting babies in their own room so young, my 4 were in my room until they transferred to a proper single bed.

WindInThePussyWillows Fri 21-Oct-16 00:00:06

My twins turned 6 months last week and I was the same as you, thinking it was the done thing but I couldn't do it! They are peacefully sleeping next to me as we speak grin

WitchOfEorzea Fri 21-Oct-16 00:05:57

We have a dd (3) who has asd and would scream and scream and hurt herself on her own room. I thought it was the done thing so did try.

Best thing we ever did was sit down, say 'fuck what everyone else thinks' and had her in with us.

Ds is six months and in a snuzpod.

I think when he can sit up we are just going to get a giant mattress that fits the floor and nest together grin

charlestrenet Fri 21-Oct-16 00:06:52

Ignore your relatives and do what work for you. It's actually only in a relatively small part of the world and for a relatively short time that young children have been put into their own rooms. And even within that relatively small part of the world a great many children never were - certainly children in working class families up to the 1950s and indeed beyond in the UK shared a bedroom and often a bed with their parents because there were no other rooms or beds. In most parts of the world it's still normal now. That's what humans have always done.

stitchglitched Fri 21-Oct-16 00:12:14

Do what is right for you. The advice is a safety guideline not an instruction! I get comments from my family about DD going in her own room. She is 20 months and still co sleeps, she is so little I love having her snuggling next to me. DS also co slept til a lot older. No way would I have a 6 month old baby in a separate room!

Bumplovin Fri 21-Oct-16 00:57:04

I was actually told at my nct class last week that there are talks of amending the guidelines to say that up to 12 months in room with u is recommended - maybe you could tell your husband this (although I have no idea if the guidelines would actually change). Do what you feel is right, the nct teacher said babies regulate their breathing by hearing yours so it can only be a good thing to keep her in with you even a few months longer if your instinct is that it's too soon x

GashleyCrumbTiny Fri 21-Oct-16 04:21:55

I also thought the guidelines had been amended to 12 months. But either way, if you're still breastfeeding then it's surely far easier for everyone to have her in your room. Your DH is also going to be disturbed if she has to yell from a different room each time she wants a feed - tell him that!

stolemyusername Fri 21-Oct-16 04:41:35

We just put 3 sides on the cot and anchored it to our bed, he slept like this until he started exploring. He's 14 months now and still next to my side of the bed (when he's not in bed with us) - can't see it changing any time soon

Redkite10a Fri 21-Oct-16 04:55:03

We kept DS in with us until he was about 8 months old. We only moved him then teething and sleep difficulties meant we needed to be able to do shifts. Once his front teeth came through and sleep stopped being such a nightmare, we'd put him down to sleep in his room but get him and bring him into bed with us when he woke for his first bf.

We ended up buying a 2nd cot bed (the frames are v cheap 2nd hand) and taking a side off and putting it next to our bed. At about 15 months he stopped waking for feeds and now generally sleeps through in his own room. We've kept the extra cot next to our bed as we bring him in with us for cuddles and playing when he first wakes in the morning and our 4 ft 6 isn't big enough, and a new king size is out of our budget at the moment.

worrierandwine Fri 21-Oct-16 06:37:13

What charlestrenet said! I couldn't agree more, hate the pressure on parents to make their babies/ children follow certain "rules". I would say if instinct is telling you to keep her with you then do it!
I also have 2 DD's and one at 5 months and I also know she is our last so I'm torn at the moment between needing my space back in bed and not wanting baby phase to be over to soon! DD1 slept with us until about 8-9 months but she was waking out of habit for feeds and DH thinks she could smell me. Anyway, we put her in her own room and DH slept on her bedroom floor for 2 weeks, rocking her back to sleep if she needed and I fed her at her usual times...I don't remember what they were now but wish I could as DD2 is feeding all night at the moment...I think she's trying to kill me grin

FrameyMcFrame Fri 21-Oct-16 06:49:37

I had both of mine in my room for a good few years each. Did the whole co-sleeping thing too.
Babies mammals naturally want to be near their mums. Your instincts are telling you something. You should probably listen.

Ohyesiam Fri 21-Oct-16 13:59:34

We had ours in with I'd till they were toddlers and got excited about bunk bed s, so wanted to move out.
The city next to the bed sound good, just make sure there is no gap she can slide down ( you could tie the city legs to your bed legs of whatever works).
There is a great book about co sleeping, all the benefits and how to do it safely, called Three in abed by Deborah Jackson, probably 99p on Amazon. You could show it to your husband (or other family members who think it's their business ; ).
Best of luck, it makes for lovely secure happy kids

Swirlingasong Fri 21-Oct-16 14:46:18

Both ours slept in a cot in our room until they were over two. It just felt right to have them with us. Once they moved into their own room we made sure they were able to get out and safely climb onto our bed if they wanted to. The youngest still does and dc1 always pops in for a morning cuddle when we all wake up. It's lovely and has allowed me considerably more sleep than i would otherwise have got over the years!

WildDigestive Fri 21-Oct-16 14:48:50

I guess I assumed it's just the done thing that they go in their own room at 6 months just because they can.

Not in my universe! DS migrated from his sidecar cot into our bed and stayed there with us until he was four. It worked better all round, and all involved got more sleep.

FannyCabbage Fri 21-Oct-16 14:52:42

DD2 is 14 months and still in our bed - her cot is fixed to the side of our bed but she still manages to take over. I love it.

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