fucking around at bedtime....

[flipflopson5thavenue]

Will try to summarise:
DC (both DS) share a room - they are 4.3yo and almost 2yo. Since the dawn of time both of them have required some kind of assistance from either me or DP to fall asleep. While the days of bfeeding, rocking, cuddling to sleep are long gone, we've only just got out of the room and no longer pat DS2 to sleep. HOWEVER we are still sitting on the landing while they fall asleep, and it's turning in a circus of the almost-2yo demaning blankets being rearranged, cups of water, one more cuddle/kiss, while the 4yo gets up and down saying he needs a wee/poo/plaster/find a different pillow. DP and I take turns to sit outside, and it's always a game of who ends up crying and angry first, us or the kids :(

We've had a chat with the 4yo to say that DP and I are going to start going downstairs now and leave him and his brother to fall asleep by themselves, they can keep their light on, keep each other company etc, and that DP and I are just downstairs etc, and we're not far away, and we need grown up time and we can't sit outside their bedroom forever.. but he just gets upset and we can't seem to persuade him.

DS2 would be fine, he will occasionally go to sleep on his own if we sneak away once DS1 is asleep.

We're wasting 1/1.5hrs every evening.

Any tips? I feel we're pandering to them both too much and end up getting cross and shouty and resentful to having to waste so much of our evening. No wonder we've always fed/rocked/patted them - at least that way they ended up going to sleep quickly!! now that we're outside it's taking a LOT longer.

Do we just say good night, shut the stair gate, come downstairs and ignore them..?