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8 Month old settles at first, but then wakes at intervals

(15 Posts)
user1474565301 Mon 17-Oct-16 20:37:18

My 8 month old always goes down for bed drowsy but awake. It sometimes takes a couple of goes, but she does get herself to sleep initially (she is not already asleep when put down for bed). The thing is, she wakes several times after that, before reaching deep sleep and before I go to bed and can't seem to resettle herself. She always cries at this point and I pick her up and resettle her by holding her to calm her (not rocking) then putting her down again. I have tried leaving her to cry for a minute or two but it doesn't work and escalates if I don't pick her up. The same also happens 2/3 times during the night.
Any ideas?

This started about a month ago and before that, she was self settling and then only waking once during the night for a feed and then going straight back to sleep.

FATEdestiny Mon 17-Oct-16 22:26:38

Could you try going to her, but settling her in the cot rather than picking her up.

I used to lean right into the cot (in fact at 8m the cot was still next to my bed so if lie on my bed and lean into the cot). Then form hand on chest/back with occassional gentle oats and shushes.

Having a dummy to reinsert really helps independant settling, not sure if your lo has a dummy or not?

user1474565301 Tue 18-Oct-16 12:55:13

I have tried settling her in the cot, but as soon as I put a hand on her to calm her or start shushing, she realises I am there and gets excited. She then lays there, banging her legs down on the mattress to get my attention.
I'm reluctant to give her a dummy at this age, as we have got this far without one. In fact, I did try to give her a dummy a week or do ago and she wouldn't take it.

user1474026214 Tue 18-Oct-16 22:31:34

How did you teach her to self settle in the first place? You probably need to do that each time she wakes at night for a few nights so that she learns to fall back to sleep after she wakes

Tootle10 Tue 18-Oct-16 22:49:58

My DS sounds very similar, he's 9months and settles himself to sleep with no trouble in his cot and yet wakes up again soon after (anywhere between 30 to 60 minutes usually) and is very difficult to resettle in the cot. I occasionally have success by putting on his slumber buddy or playing some lullabies but usually we end up having to pick him up (we have to rock or walk up and down). He is then nearly impossible to get back into the cot and we end up co-sleeping most of the night.

So no advice really, just some sympathy!

user1474565301 Wed 19-Oct-16 07:48:52

She started self settling in the first place because I just put her down awake from a couple of months old and she always went to sleep after a little bit of snuffling around, even when she was in her Moses basket. That doesn't work now, so I think I'm heading towards needing to do some gentle sleep training to get her back into the swing of things.

user1474026214 Thu 20-Oct-16 09:04:46

You might be right user - it sounds like she needs to learn how to go to sleep after she has woken uo, not just when she's first put down. Good luck!

user1474565301 Thu 20-Oct-16 13:36:42

Seriously... How does anyone ever survive this baby lark without going insane? Is it meant to be this difficult? Trying to get my baby to sleep seems to have taken over my life and I feel like it's all guess work, every day!!

Tumtitum Thu 20-Oct-16 21:42:36

OP, love your description of her banging her legs and getting excited when you go in - my DD does the same!! She also settles and can sleep for 8/9 hours but then can't settle back from about 4am. I'm trying to leave her for a bit to resettle and sometimes she will... Sometimes she won't... I'll let you know if I find anything that works! grin

Tumtitum Thu 20-Oct-16 21:43:08

Ps baby sleep has also taken over my life... And now baby eating too - argh how to fit it all in?!

FATEdestiny Thu 20-Oct-16 22:03:09

I also know what you mean about lifting and banging down legs, all four of my children have done it. I think its a developmental"thing" lots of babies do.

I would deal with this by teaching baby that in order to sleep you need to be still. An important bedtime skill as baby learns to crawl, stand, walk and climb. So I would use my reassuring firm hand on baby's legs, effectively pinning him down (but in a gentle way).

user1474565301 Sat 22-Oct-16 08:42:14

I'm so glad there are other people out there, going through the same things with their babies. It's helps to keep my sanity going. I'm so hard on myself when things don't go to plan.
The night waking have become fewer over the last couple of days. One wake up instead of 4/5. Phew! I'm also discovering that I need to leave my baby to settle herself for longer. I'm thinking maybe I've been too quick to go in to her sometimes. I will not leave her to cry, but she has just fussed (gentle moaning) for 45 mins before her morning nap and then suddenly just gone to sleep. It's worth a go anyway. I'm hoping she may then gradually re-learn to settle herself and get a decent amount of rest.
Thank you for your replies, guys.

DollyBarton Sat 22-Oct-16 08:53:54

Try very mild crying. It's a stage mine all went through at about this age and I've found finally that it's best to let them whinge and cry a bit when they wake between cycles as they do typically go back themselves and then quickly get better at settling themselves when they wake (but want to be asleep).

I go in for full on crying.

Tumtitum Sat 22-Oct-16 09:06:11

Dolly I do the same, she just kind of whinges and shouts a bit when she wakes but I leave her for ten mins and I'd say half of the time she falls back to sleep. If she doesn't I then assume she's hungry or something else is stopping her going back to sleep. I go in straight away if she properly cries. It it's very rare, thank goodness as I'm a wuss when she really cries! grin

user1474565301 Sat 22-Oct-16 19:55:09

Dolly and Tumtitum - Thank you. I have tried to restrain myself and let her do some mild crying/whinging today and it seems to have started to help a little. I hope it will continue and that doing this will give her the opportunity to learn to settle more often.
It's reassuring to hear that you have both had similar experiences at this age and had some success too.

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