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Help! Co sleeping isn't working !

(17 Posts)
r2d256 Sat 01-Oct-16 06:35:58

My DD is 7 months, she has a good bedtime routine and settles in her cot initially -she'll wake normally every 1-2 hrs and when she does she's normally BF back to sleep or my husband cuddles and walks with her until she settles.

From about 2:30 onwards she will be unsettled to the point that I'm up and down constantly, if it happens more than 3 times consecutively I'll take her into the spare room with me (we have a standard double and it's more comfy this way- so I thought !) if DH wakes he'll move -either or !

Normally when we've coslept in the past (at some point all but 3/4 nights since she was born!) she's just BF when she wants and gone back to sleep next to me, now she seems to be waking ALL the time through the night, feeding for a second, going to sleep for minutes and waking again.

I'm really concerned because cosleeping was supposed to be my ticket to maintaining a good level of sleep (for both her and me!) maybe I was naive in thinking this sad


ThursdayLastWeek Sat 01-Oct-16 06:41:16

My DS is the same age and co-sleeping has stopped being the silver bucket for us too. Personally I'm glad about that as I hate it, but it does make life difficult at 3/4/5 in the morning.

If I feed him lying down, he will eventually pull off and nod off. Often then he'll become unsettled within the next half an hour. And I can hardly believe it, but putting him back in his cot seems to work - he seems to need a bit of personal space!

Putting him on his front has been a game changer for us - an option maybe?
You really have my sympathy. 7 months in with little sleep is NOT FUN.

Stevefromstevenage Sat 01-Oct-16 06:42:38

I wonder is it an early sleep regression. We had a few of the with DS but they passed in a couple of weeks after I had pulled all my hair out I definitely found overall co sleeping worked but there were many a few times I questioned it.

villainousbroodmare Sat 01-Oct-16 06:48:41

At that age, we had the cot beside our bed. I bfed DS around 10pm, 2am and 6am. Lying down, still in his sleeping bag. If he dozed off while feeding I would gently ruffle his hair or speak to him so that he kept going and got a full feed. I would then usually lean over and put him back in his cot; as a pp said, he seems to need his space. If he woke in between, either of us would sssh him back to sleep still in the cot. I love the theory of cosleeping but the kicky, thrashy wakeful reality of it (for us) is not restful.

r2d256 Sat 01-Oct-16 06:51:01

Wow ! Thanks both! Both things to consider! Normally when she wakes I've been feeding her sat on a built in block next to her cot which is probs not the comfiest for either of us, I could try feeding her in the spare room lying down then transferring her again (she's fed lying down at bedtime).

Maybe that way she'll want to settle in the cot for longer! She does sleep on her tummy, rolls there herself !

Stevefromstevenage Sat 01-Oct-16 07:06:11

r2 we converted ds' cot to a cosleeper. Took one side off tied it to our bed, made sure there was no gap between the mattresses and that the mattresses were at the same height. I always slept him on a soft blanket and then would pull the blanket to transfer him from the bed to the cot so there was no drop in temperature. It was not infallible but it worked mostly.

LapinR0se Sat 01-Oct-16 07:07:37

You need to stop feeding to sleep and at this age she can start learning how to self-settle

ThursdayLastWeek Sat 01-Oct-16 07:08:52

Ah, there you go OP. Easy as that ^ grin

LapinR0se Sat 01-Oct-16 07:16:37

It actually is not complicated, it is a simple process. But it is emotionally difficult if you are used to feeding to sleep.

Stevefromstevenage Sat 01-Oct-16 07:26:24

I think some children move between stages easily and for some it is more complicated Lapin. My older 2 never co slept. My younger one did. It is always worth trying a variety of things but unless you are talking about leaving a child to cry then there are no guaranteed 'simple processes' to ensure your sleep with small children and suggesting otherwise just sounds naieve.

LapinR0se Sat 01-Oct-16 08:07:39

It is not naive. I know a fair amount about baby and toddler sleep and most people make things complicated by being inconsistent, trying every method under the sun and not sticking to anything, and reverting to habits such as feeding/rocking to sleep out of desperation or exhaustion.
If you choose one method and stick to it absolutely rigidly then it will be fine. At 7 months I would recommend spaced soothing with a very small amount of time between soothing. But it is up to the individual to choose the method they prefer.
And then stick to it. Absolutely consistently.

ThursdayLastWeek Sat 01-Oct-16 08:12:14

Why didn't you write that first?! That's loads more helpful!

(I realise that probably sounds sarcastic, but isn't, i promise)

LapinR0se Sat 01-Oct-16 08:13:22

I dont know, I will write it first in future! smile

ThursdayLastWeek Sat 01-Oct-16 08:14:13

Haha smile

<googles spaced soothing>

r2d256 Sat 01-Oct-16 08:31:59

Brill thanks! I think I'll google it too,

All really helpful suggestions

Thank you all so much smilesmile

Stevefromstevenage Sat 01-Oct-16 10:24:52

Lapin. Sorry I didn't realise this was your area of expertise.

However only from my own experience I just don't think there are guarantees with children. For example I have a child with ASD and what I have recently learned was that the prevalence of disordered sleep is extremely high in non NT children so children with ASD, ADHD and many other similar conditions which are reasonably common. Obviously you cannot tell at 7 months which children have these types of developmental disorders that affect sleep so I am interested to hear how sleek training methods, which will never work for these children who cannot be identified at 7 months, would be recommended by experts as guaranteed to work if parents are just consistent. It still just sounds naive to me.

LapinR0se Sat 01-Oct-16 11:07:25

It is not my area of expertise, I just know a lot about it for various reasons.
To your point, I have a nephew in Australia with ASD and my SIL has massively struggled with his sleep. Of course that is a different situation entirely. She has had a lot of help from a specialist sleep consultant and has seen a huge improvement. (A lot of the principles are the same actually especially with regards to routine and consistency.)

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