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4mo - AIBU?

(7 Posts)
JustMeAndHim Fri 23-Sep-16 15:39:15


My 4mo DS used to be a pretty good sleeper, however in the last 7 or so weeks it's all gone a little bit wrong. His night times are all over the place with feeding/waking and naps in the day have been pretty non-existent. I have been stressing myself out about this and trying to get him to self soothe which has been a whole heap worse. Then in the last 2 days he's started to fall asleep on me in the day which he hasn't done in ages. I am aware that this isn't ideal but small gains and all that...

We have a good night time routine which has been in place since he was about 10 weeks and we have stuck to but I have absolutely no chance of putting him down awake. We have to physically get him to sleep.

So my question really is Aibu and expecting too much of him? Should I just go with it or am I making a rod for my own back? I feel like at the moment it's more important that he actually gets sleep and then we can deal with the rest later, am I deluding myself?

Birdofathousandvoices Fri 23-Sep-16 15:47:53

flowers try not to stress yourself out over it. Just do what you need to do! For months my DD would only nap on me or on the couch meaning I couldn't move. Frustrating at times but forced to just sit and chill! I would just do what u need to to get hi to nap during the day (car/pram/cuddles) and hopefully this will lead to better night times

Toofondofcake Fri 23-Sep-16 15:57:05

Yeah love you are expecting way too much sorry.

He needs you to regulate his emotional and physical needs. Each. Growth stage will create sleep disturbance and unsettling and he will need extra holding, milk, contact, stimulation to distract from discomfort etc.

I know you'll be bloody knackered but try to thrive on this stage where he will be content with you holding and loving him all the time because when he's three and peeing in the wardrobe or hiding beetles in his socks or throwing tantrums in tesco car park you'll be yearning for these clingy cuddles.

Also developmentally babies are not hard wired to sleep all night, it is programmed into them to stop them loosing weight, being abandoned and having heart irregularities.

Just enjoy him.

Toofondofcake Fri 23-Sep-16 15:58:09

Oh and babies thrive in safe cosleeping environments. NCT and ISIS have excellent safe sleeping guidelines and the two of you will both get loads more sleep.

scoobyloobyloo Fri 23-Sep-16 16:06:56


JustMeAndHim Fri 23-Sep-16 16:59:46

Thanks ladies! You have all confirmed what i suspected.

I have been cowing to the pressures of "spoiling him" if I don't put him down as well 🙈 We had some lovely sleepy snuggles this afternoon and I enjoyed every second.

Toofond your comments actually made me laugh, re the peeing in the wardrobe. Pretty sure I won't be laughing when he's actually doing it...

Toofondofcake Fri 23-Sep-16 17:12:16

Honestly my toddler is a lesson in insanity and I miss when she was a clingy little baby who only wanted me and my snuggles. She drew all over my sofa in biro last week and I had to think back to when she could be left in one place without destroying the room to diffuse my near psychotic break.

Don't bow to pressure even if your MIL is waxing lyrical about how you're making a rod for your own back and he'll never sleep alone and how he's the boss and meh meh meh. Tell them all to shush and enjoy those feeds and cuddles.

Also night feeds are how your body learns to make more milk so the more he feeds at night the better your supply will be...hence the cosleeping grin

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