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Bloody husband sabotaging bedtime!!

(8 Posts)
Nottalotta Tue 20-Sep-16 18:43:36

Probably not the place for this but I need to get it out. Been doing gradual withdrawal with ds 14 months old. Always bf to sleep, had many sleep difficulties, could never put down awake (or indeed at all for the first 5-6 months.)

So, very gradual, but working. I am outside the room but I'm sight. H just came up, whispered 'is he asleep?' i shook my head, he was laying quietly watching his mobile. H proceeds to go in and start chatting, replacing thrown out teddies etc.

Wibu to just wrap a frying pan around his head? Had to tell him to come out after ten bloody minutes. Baby is now shouting and bouncing. Gah.

fluffikins Tue 20-Sep-16 19:27:39

Tell your Dh he can do bedtime and go downstairs and relax! You have to gradual retreat the husband too wink

Nottalotta Tue 20-Sep-16 19:34:42

Ugh. I had to pick him.up and rock as it deteriorated to crying. He was quiet and happy til the idiot husband turned up.

fflonkl Wed 21-Sep-16 13:39:17

Hope you managed to get your DD to sleep again after that! When I did gradual retreat with DD I banned DH from going anywhere near DD at bedtime, once he'd said goodnight. And I told him off several times when his goodnight's were getting her all excited again!

FATEdestiny Wed 21-Sep-16 14:25:04

That sounds like your DH doesn't actually understand the process you are going through. Have you discussed it with him?

I/we found it much easier if I did all bedtines during our times of gradual withdrawal. It was helpful because I then understood the tiny chsnfes happening from day to say and it allowed for consistantly.

I never minded - afterall DH does all of the story reading and bedtimes with our children once out of the baby years, so the fact that they were 100% my responsibility for 12-18 months or so really usnt a big deal on the grand scheme of things.

While bedtime with baby was my domain, DH wouldn't dream of interfeeering. Just tell your DH that once baby into the Toddler years, he can have the next 10 years of bedtime duties to make up for what he missed out on now grin

Nottalotta Wed 21-Sep-16 21:00:36

No he clearly doesn't get it, despite me having explained. I do do all bedtimes, always have and I don't mind but it's bloody annoying when it gets messed up. He did sleep but I had to cuddle him to sleep. Then tonight we were back about 3 weeks with me having to sit next to the cot with my hand though the bars. Ah well, will have to explain again, and good point Fate, he's got a good few years of it ahead!

Out of interest, how would I go about changing to husband putting him to bed when the next one arrives in Feb?

FATEdestiny Wed 21-Sep-16 21:15:18

The hope would be that you are fully 'withdrawn' by the time the new baby arrives. So just kiss goodnight and leave. It's at that point that DH and I swap duties. If you don't think you'll get to that point by February then I would start changing so dh starts doing bedtine after Christmas ish.

Regarding the step backwards now, it's annoying but you should be able to speed back through the steps at a much quicker pace than originally.

Don't be afraid to go faster through the changes to get back where you were

Nottalotta Wed 21-Sep-16 22:17:54

Thank you. I think.he will get back into the swing of it, he's just had a top molar come through so that hasn't helped. He's found his complaining voice too and is putting it into practice!

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