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Not coping

(11 Posts)
Mojito6 Wed 14-Sep-16 22:06:50

My 14 week old was a great sleeper, would wake once or twice a night and it was all lovely. However for the past couple weeks she just hasn't slept at night. And big style. She will fall asleep, I'll put her down, within 10 minutes she's awake and will either feed a bit or drop off...and repeat until about 3 or 4 am. I really can't handle this much longer I've had about 2 hours sleep a night for two weeks and can't cope much longer! She also barely naps in the day and have no idea how to redress all this!

isthistoonosy Wed 14-Sep-16 22:10:51

Look up the 4 month sleep regression flowers

It get better

Mojito6 Wed 14-Sep-16 22:12:16

I read about that, is it too early for that or is 4 months just an estimate lol. I honestly feel like I'm going to go mad with lack of sleep!

FATEdestiny Wed 14-Sep-16 22:17:13

Sleep physiology changes at 12 weeks, which coincides with the change in your DC.

Babies sleep changes away from the passive state it was in the womb and for the "forth trimester". In this passive state if all needs are met, baby will sleep. So as long as baby is comfy, not in pain and not hungry then baby will sleep as a passive state, only waking if one of those needs are lacking.

After 3-4m baby's sleep matures and develops. It is no longer passive. It becomes active. You and baby both have to actively work at getting baby to sleep. Sleep develops into cycles. The act of 'getting to sleep' has to be learned and is used to both get baby to sleep and keep baby asleep from one cycle into the next.

So all that explained, you need to start developing ways that help baby get to sleep. Some things that are known to wor:

Sucking a dumny
Feeding to sleep
Rocking
Cuddling
Patting /ticklibg
Bouncing (bouncy chair)
Sling walking /jiggling
Pushchair walking
Carseat drive

Mojito6 Wed 14-Sep-16 22:20:59

I currently feed to sleep but don't actively do Any of the other methods suggested. She will fall asleep in the car or pushchair when out but not the whole time she's in it if that makes sense.
I have read today that babies need decent naps in the day in order to sleep well at night, is that true? Apart from when she's dozing when feeding she rarely naps in the day! I tried bouncing her in her chair today and she didn't nap for more than about 30 minutes!

FATEdestiny Wed 14-Sep-16 23:34:31

30 minutes naps are usual and done at this age. They should be frequent.

Yes, your baby does need to sleep in the day!

A reasonable approximation (although it is only a guide) would be that from waking until bedtime baby's day will be repeated blocks of 45-75 minutes awake time then 30-45 minutes asleep time.

At 12 weeks I would say no more than an hour awake between one daytime nap and the next. My youngest would be awake for only 40 minutes at a time at this age.

Naps will be short, they just are. Sleep develops again around 5-7 months old when baby learns to stay asleep through one sleep cycle into the next. Until then, short frequent naps is the way of life.

I'd suggest you try a dummy first of all.

Mojito6 Wed 14-Sep-16 23:41:29

She's definitely awake longer than that in the day however I guess I'm also including when she's feeding as being awake, she'll have her eyes closed when feeding but I guess as she's feeding she isn't technically asleep? It's like she just barely sleeps at all! She'll be yawning away I'll settle her for s sleep she'll have a cuddle put her down and within 10-30 minutes she's awake it's so frustrating!!
I will buy a dummy and see if it helps, thanks

FATEdestiny Thu 15-Sep-16 00:06:57

She wont be sleeping when actively feeding. She may drop off towards the end of a feed.

It's hard work helping baby get baby to sleep.

I always favoured feeding baby up in waking, not when they went sleep. I've always used dummy and bouncy chair for daytime sleeps.

It's not unusual to have quite limited awake time with a young baby. If yours favours 60 minute awake time for example, that might include:
15 minute feed
5 minute nappy check
15 minutes actively trying to get baby to sleep
That only leaves 25 minutes of actual happy/awake playtime between one nap and the next.

Mojito6 Thu 15-Sep-16 00:24:35

She's going down for 20 mins or so tonight then waking up crying arghhhhhhhh literally every 20 mins! sad

Hughpughbarneymagrew Thu 15-Sep-16 00:58:58

Can't help but flowers
We are on 2 hours asleep 1.5hrs awake here and have been all week. I'm beyond tired....

Mojito6 Thu 15-Sep-16 05:14:03

Its crap isn't it! How old is your little one?

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