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How do I teach her to self sooth? Please help me!

(18 Posts)
BibbidiBobbidi Wed 14-Sep-16 08:40:27

I'm having problems with DD. She's 5 months old and has always been an 'alright' sleeper.

I'm having problems getting her to bed. She's in her own room now in her big cot. Her bed time routine used to go like this:
18:15 bath time
18:30 bottle & cuddles whilst being rocked to sleep in the rocking chair
19:00 in bed until she wakes up again for her night feed. The night feed would be the same apart from the bath.
But, now she's in her bigger bed its not going well, every time I lower her into the bed she's awake again and it's taking me about 2 hours each time to get her to sleep in her bed 😩

She won't sleep in it during the day either.

I think that what I need to do is teach her to self soothe after she's had her milk and let her put herself to sleep so she's not being woken by me trying to put her into bed.
How do I do this?? When I put her in awake she'll cry tears and scream until I pick her back up again 😢

Thanks in advance.
I really hope someone can help

avocadosweet Wed 14-Sep-16 08:48:03

With DD1 I did what got us all the most sleep and put her in our bed until she was 1. She didn't sleep through for yonks though. DD2 is much better at getting herself to sleep but still needs me, they are still very tiny at that age. I play lullaby music which is a good sleep cue for her.

melibu84 Wed 14-Sep-16 08:53:29

Maybe the cotbed is too big for her. My son didn't like his at first, but now he sleeps really well in it. Have you tried swaddling, or using a sleeping bag / gro bag? My 2 month old loves them, he smiles when I put the sleeping bag on smile

FATEdestiny Wed 14-Sep-16 08:55:36

Had she gone from a because crib next to your bed straight into big cot in her room?

I'd bring the big cot into your room, next to the bed. (Shift furnature out temporarily if space is tight). Then you can lie in your bed to help settle her.

Does the cot have different msttress heights? Which height are you on?

TheLastHeatwave Wed 14-Sep-16 08:58:51

What/where was she sleeping prior to this move into the cot bed?

If it was a Moses basket or bassinet can you put that into the cot?

BibbidiBobbidi Wed 14-Sep-16 08:59:06

A gro bag sounds like a good idea, at the moment I'm putting her at the bottom of the bed and tucking her in very tightly with a blanket.

I'm about to buy an Ewan as well to see if that helps.

I don't really want her in bed with me, I've got health issues that affect my sleep and at times I can go into such a deep sleep that it's hard to wake me, I wouldn't want anything to happen to her and me not realise.
OH can sleep through anything as well!

BibbidiBobbidi Wed 14-Sep-16 09:00:52

She's gone from a Moses basket to a next to me to her big bed in her room.
We've measured and even by taking all of our furniture out there isn't room for her cot in our room.
I've even thought about setting up an air bed in her room for me to sleep in there?

BibbidiBobbidi Wed 14-Sep-16 09:01:39

Yeah it has two heights m and she's on the highest one

melibu84 Wed 14-Sep-16 09:02:20

If you're in the UK, mothercare are doing a sale on sleeping bags smile

My DP can sleep through anything as well, it's really annoying lol

Tokelau Wed 14-Sep-16 09:08:00

How about putting her in the Moses basket in the cot?

HRMumness Wed 14-Sep-16 09:14:56

She is only 5 months, still very very young to be able to self soothe IMHO. There is a sleep regression around 4mo and she could be teething which could make being on her back uncomfortable. Is she going through a growth spurt? Any chance she could be still hungry?

I agree the cot may be too big, a sleeping bag or a sleepyhead type thing could help her feel more comfortable? My eldest DD loved to be swaddled up tight (although this is not recommended now) but my youngest DD was completely the opposite!

I know it's really really hard when they don't sleep (My youngest didn't sleep through until 18mo and it was very hard) so I hope it settles for you soon.

BibbidiBobbidi Wed 14-Sep-16 09:39:47

Thank you everybody.

I've just ordered an Ewan and a gro bag do be delivered today so hopefully that'll help.

She doesn't fit in her Moses basket anymore, she went from one of those to a next to me which won't fit in the cot (I've tried!)

It's not the fact that she's not sleeping through that's upsetting me I don't think. Obviously I'd prefer it if she did but I know she's only little and she is hungry when she's waking.
It's the face that it's taking me about two hours to get her back to bed that's causing the problem. Last night she was up at 1 and didn't go back to sleep in her bed until 3:30 sad

Do you think I could put her in the sleeping bag and rock her to sleep in that so that it'll be warm and smell of me when I put her down?

wonderwoo Wed 14-Sep-16 13:54:11

Yes, we used to put our ds in his sleeping bag, and then settle him on us, then carefully lower into the cot when he was asleep. We had to get the timing right though, otherwise he would wake up. I found settling him very frustrating tbh, especially at the end of a long hard day, but he just wouldn't lie the the cot by himself, even if I stayed in the room with him. My our ds did it fine... I think they just do or don't and you have to go with it.

avocadosweet Wed 14-Sep-16 14:06:34

Oh, I didn't realise you meant the 2 hours awake thing was in the middle of the night, i thought you meant at bed time. There is a developmental thing which happens before a new skill appears, DD1 did the two hours awake thing and DD2 is 5mo and doing it now - she is up on her hands and knees preparing for crawling! It's a brain thing which compels them to practice the new skill. So it's a ride it out thing ime, sorry! DD2 doesn't cry during the awake periods so I just do my best to ignore her. So maybe an airbed would work for you so you can keep half an eye to make sure she's okay, but get some rest at the same time?

Huishnish Thu 15-Sep-16 21:35:47

My DS2 is also doing the 2 hours awake thing, 5 months, I think practising rolling over. SO annoying! He was doing pretty well with his sleep too. I try to ignore him and accept hope that he will get back to sleeping well once he's mastered it!

SnowWhite26 Sat 17-Sep-16 08:29:43

This happened to my daughter but at the dream feed. Does she have a dummy? That helped us. She is 11 mo now and generally sleeps through and settles her self with dummy. I no its hard but just remember you aren't alone and I promise it will get better smile xx

Diddlydokey Sat 17-Sep-16 08:33:53

Put her in the cot and do shh-pat whilst she's in there so she galls asleep in the cot

DollyBarton Sat 17-Sep-16 08:34:33

I've always found 7 months to be the golden opportunity time for teaching babies stuff. Before that the communication and understanding just isn't there so it can be hit and miss. At about 7 months at bedtime just give a kiss, put down (I turn on music mobile) and walk out immediately. You can go back if necessary and you will likely need to the first few times you try this. But keep confident, smiling, soothing but firm and soon she will realise the new routine of into bed and mum goes out of the room immediately. That's worked for me 3 times on 3 very different babies.

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