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Six year old won't go to sleep on his own...

(12 Posts)
Mummyten Tue 06-Sep-16 20:50:19

I have always say with my six year old until he fell asleep .. After a long day and and school it could take up to an hour .. Now after the school holidays and the lighter nights it is taking my hubby and I up to 2.5 hours ..and we are at our wits end ... I'm at the moment sitting in on the landing as a way of distancing myself from his bedside... We have a good bedtime routine of bath and reading and cuddles but the situation seems to getting worse ..he's a sensitive only child and I'm worried it is going to affect him at school... Any top tips please ... Many thanks x

BusStopBetty Tue 06-Sep-16 20:52:57

Well stop then. Reduce the time down each night if you want to do it gently, but you can stop whenever you choose.

freetrampolineforall Tue 06-Sep-16 20:57:06

Will he chill out to an audio book timed on an iPod with a speaker to stop after e.g. 40 mins. Lights out while it runs.

twirlywoo69 Tue 06-Sep-16 20:58:22

Could you sit with him then every now and then say you need to pop out of room eg ' I'm just going to switch the kitchen light off, I think I left it on' or 'I'm just going to get a glass of water' and then leave the room but go for longer each time? Maybe he will learn to fall asleep that way without realising.

Stylingwax Tue 06-Sep-16 21:04:38

I have the same with my 3 year old. We have decided enough is enough and have a plan - we've asked his childminder to start talking about how big boys go to sleep on their own, I've started mentioning how big boys go to sleep alone, and I've given him his baby sisters Ewan the Sheep which he loves and she's not fussed about to cuddle at night. This weekend we're going to introduce a reward chart and kick it off, maybe starting on night one by sitting by the door first. Have no idea if it will work but have taken some advice from others with many children!

Mummyten Tue 06-Sep-16 22:37:14

Thank you all ... It can only get better once he knows we mean business !

FifiFerusha Wed 07-Sep-16 13:44:12

Ok so I have had the same situation for years for my now 6 yo. We had given up.

A few weeks ago she went to a shop with us demanding a toy. We just used our initiative and said that if she could get herself to sleep over two nights she could have it. We did stay with her for ten minutes and then left. She also demanded the light on which is something we stupidly never considered as we had always sat with her in the dark. After two days of success( she fell asleep a lot quicker with out us there) she got the toy and then was allowed to choose another thing( only little mind as it could be expensive). We told her she could have the toy if she got herself to sleep for four nights. Magic success. After that we went a bit wild and told her she could have a treat after 8 days of getting herself to sleep. We followed through and for a week now hasn't even mentioned the toy. The only conditions are that the light is on and that we stay with her for five minutes after story time. We are gradually shortening the reality of what five minutes is. I am in absolute shock that this simple procedure has worked. I can't believe it. She is now able to get to sleep without a stressed out parent next to her frustrated that she can't get to sleep and without her realising making her settling process worse and prolonged.

I thought we were stuck in a rut but for some reason this has worked. I literally though nothing would. Have faith in your boy, he can do it x x x

Pd I though I was the only one who had to stay with my 6yo so I. A way your post is reassuring. I hope mine is for you x x

Mummyten Wed 07-Sep-16 14:55:13

Hello ... I tried this last night and after he had stopped screaming he managed to be resting in his bed until I popped back .. I think the art it to extend the times I leave him .. Thanks for the advice x

Mummyten Wed 07-Sep-16 15:02:08

Thanks Fififerusha... We are also trying this to a degree too ...he has been promised a little gift at the weekend if he can manage to rest in his bed alone .. I'm hopping with that extended periods on his own he will eventually conk out.! It would is also lovely to know he's not alone in this behaviour .. I'm moving away from the stress now as I know he picks up on it .. He's not in any harm it is just a little bit of controlling behaviour in what is normally great behaviour ... Thanks for the message -feeling strong !!!

Stylingwax Wed 07-Sep-16 17:35:45

Be strong! I chatted to my boy last night about big boys going to sleep on their own. Even the thought of it caused the screaming heebie jeebies and I hadn't even attempted to leave, I was going to build up to it first. Problem is any ruckus wakes his equally non sleeping baby sister up. Who we are currently trying to train to self settle. Joy.

DoItTooJulia Wed 07-Sep-16 17:40:38

I've been there. A complete change worked for us. Do something outrageous. Take him out for a weeknight tea and the park, or something. Explain over dinner what a grown up boy he's getting and that grown up boys go to sleep on their own. And we're going to try it tonight. Reassure him that you're only down stairs. And that you'll check on him, but the rules are, grown up style. No faffing. Yada yada. And yes to a reward for, say, two consecutive nights of going off on your own.

By be outrageous, I mean did the routine, do something that will surprise him. Show him that it's just a cycle and that you're breaking it too! Iyswim??

Good luck!

DoItTooJulia Wed 07-Sep-16 17:41:16

*sod the routine!

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