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When did your DC learn to 'self soothe' ?

(14 Posts)
MYA2016 Tue 30-Aug-16 21:55:40

I have a 7.5mo DS who is now finally generally sleeping through 11 hours (occasionally waking once on the odd night still).
However I'm very aware of the fact that he has a bottle and doses off straight away in mine or DH arms, we then put him in the cot asleep.
The same for all his naps (he can fall asleep alone in car or pushchair).
If he wakes in the night We see on the video minitor he will look around, get comfy and go back to sleep

However I am very conscious of the fact that if we put him down in his cot awake at the start of sleep time he goes mental. We have given up trying as the whole process is very quick if we cuddle him and nobody gets stressed.

When did your baby learn to self soothe so you could put them down awake and they would fall asleep alone? And would you be pushing it if you were me??

HalfStar Tue 30-Aug-16 22:25:48

My younger child is 22 months and can do this without any props now, though some nights she needs a lot of reassurance and singing. My older child is 4.5 and sucks her thumb to sleep so still doesn't really do this.
To answer your question, nope I wouldn't be changing a damn thing if my 7.5 month old slept all night like that op. He can settle himself between sleep cycles so that's great. He'll let you know when it's time to change something. ..

user1469300540 Thu 01-Sep-16 21:12:38

We started self-soothing at 4.5 months. Sounds very young but DD would not go to sleep unless she was in my arms; not even DH could put her down! Lots of friends were telling me I needed to start getting some me time back but it meant I couldn't go out in an evening so I felt we needed to try it.

Like you she has a bottle and sometimes fall asleeps in arms so self-soothing isn't needed. If she doesn't we allow her a 5 minute cuddles once she's finished and then put her in cot. To start with I sat on the floor and would put my hands through the bars to reassure her I was still there. The first time was horrible as she was quite upset but I got DH to stay with me for supper. Second night she was much calmer. We then moved this to just sitting on the floor next to her, then in the chair and now at 6 months we can put her down and walk out the room.

Naps are harder as we're not always home and if we're out she obviously has to sleep on me sometimes. But again we just follow the same routine. I never let her get hysterical. It breaks my heart and I don't think it's fair. I will pick her up, reassure her and then put her down again. The only time I have every given in was during the heat wave recently as she was hot and just didn't know what to do with herself.

We found since doing this that if she wakes during the night now, she will often sort herself out without us needing to go to her so we're getting more rest.

In terms of ur little one, only you know what's right for both of you. If you do decide to do it, it is tough for a bit but honestly can say it is so worth it. DD always goes down happy now X

Believeitornot Thu 01-Sep-16 21:14:31

He's a tiny baby.

He sleeps through.

Honestly I wouldn't worry about it! Mine were a few years old before they could. I don't think there was a link between night wakings and how they went to sleep - they woke at night because something was up (nightmares/teething etc) so being able to self soothe was irrelevant

FATEdestiny Thu 01-Sep-16 21:55:14

I really wouldn't worry too much aside from "working towards" settling in his for.

This can be done in a quite chilled-out, no stress way. For example on the odd night when he seems ok, give him the bottle until he just starts napping and put him in the cot just off being in a deep sleep. Not every night, just sometimes when he seems ok.

Over time make it more frequent. Then put him in the cot everso slightly more awake. Just take your time, do it at his pace.

Keeping in mind what you are working towards means that gradually you'll be making the right progress.

AGenie Thu 01-Sep-16 22:01:50

That sounds pretty perfect to me. I would just enjoy what you have. My Ds slept through at four and still doesn't go to sleep alone.

OhTheRoses Thu 01-Sep-16 22:04:30

DS was a terrible sleeper. Never needed much at all. Happier to go to bed when he got a girlfriend, aged 17 shock. Be warned.

toopeoply Thu 01-Sep-16 22:06:29

All of mine have done it from really early. Maybe 3 months or sooner. Just bath, bottle, wrapped up and into cot with mobile on. They've all self settled really well. No real crying either. It's just their routine and they never knew any different.

Summerdays2014 Sun 04-Sep-16 08:54:28

MYA, I have seen some of your other posts when your baby was not sleeping! I have a nearly 8 month old son who is the same as yours was. What (if anything) did you change to improve the situation? I've tried CC which didn't work. Now trying to improve day time naps, following 2,3,4 routine (though not working yet)

minipie Mon 05-Sep-16 16:30:58

If he wakes in the night We see on the video minitor he will look around, get comfy and go back to sleep

If he does this then he can self settle and you don't have a problem. Leave well alone!

MYA2016 Mon 05-Sep-16 20:53:44

Okay great thanks everyone that's what I wanted to hear!

Summerdays sorry to hear you're having a rubbish time.
Our dcs must be of a similar age (mine was born 14th Jan).
The things that worked massively for me were
1. White noise. I totally underestimated this. Half heartidly tried it a few times but not really. One night we set the tablet up in the room with a white noise app set to 'car' noise and it was like a dream! All of a sudden the little noises from outside stopped bothering him as did stuff like us going to bed etc
2. Day naps were a nightmare before. I was breastfeeding and he'd only sleep in my arms (so I'd sit downstairs and watch the telly ). I managed to gradually wean off breast and I'd take him upstairs and shut the curtains in his room, sit in the chair and give him his bottle and then he'd fall asleep and I'd out him down in the cot. He sleeps for 1 hour 20 - 2 hrs in the morning.
We then do the same in the afternoon but he rarely sleeps more than an hour.
And then the same at bed
Also it was boring but I spent about 3 weeks doing very little to crack his naps. I'd go out between 1-1.30 or after 3pm but I'd make sure I was at home for his nap times to get it sorted out. It worked because we went away for a few days last week and he was great, 2pm on the dot he'd fall asleep regardless of if we were having lunch or on the beach!
3. Someone on one of my posts told me to ditch the tv and that also seems to have really helped. We used to sit him in front of in the night garden while we ate our dinner. Now we have the radio on in the kitchen while he plays and then as we start to get him ready for bed we put relaxing music on.

These are the main things I can think of but I'll update if i remember anymore.

Since last Sunday (so 8 nights) he's slept through 5 of them so we do still have bad nights.

2 of the other nights he woke once. One of them he woke about 8 times for no apparent reason!

We try and keep him in his cot and we try not to feed him but if he's very unsettled or upset we do whatever it takes to get him back to sleep so if that means bottle then putting him in with us so be it... he can then sleep through the next night so at this stage I'm hopeful that we aren't creating too many bad habits!
Hope this helps

Summerdays2014 Tue 06-Sep-16 06:45:35

Thank you so much MYA. Yes the same age (my son was born on the 9th Jan) I'm definitely going to work on naps. The problem is if he is only sleeping for 30 mins at a time! I hope things continue to go well for you.

weebairn Fri 09-Sep-16 17:08:55

Dd1- couldn't put herself to sleep till well past 2.5 years old, though generally slept through once she was asleep
Dd2- self soothed from birth. Terrible sleeper , woke multiple times every night till 16 months.

So I think self soothing is a load of bollocks grin

Purplebluebird Fri 09-Sep-16 17:15:52

Self soothing is nonsense. It suggests that the child was upset but calmed themselves down - they are not capable of this at such a young age, and rather than calm themselves down, they give up hope. However! My son started to go to sleep on his own for naps at 2, but at 2,5 still needs a cuddle to go to bed in the evening. I look forward to the day he can put himself to sleep, but it's not a big deal really!

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