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12mnth old throwing bunny from cot

(18 Posts)
upthewolves Sun 21-Aug-16 11:51:37

Hi all
My 12 month old DD was a shocking sleeper up until about 8 months when we introduced a cuddly bunny as a "sleep prop" on advice of wise mners and our health visitor. She is now very attached to the bunny, won't sleep without it. This has been fine, in fact since 10 months she has slept from 7-7 and from pretty much first introducing the bunny she has gone down without any fuss at all.

4 nights ago she started standing up in her cot, dropping the bunny over the side and then crying hysterically. I mean tears pouring down face, can't get her breath crying. This happens occasionally in the middle of night but also at bedtime - I leave the room and she does it immediately. She has also been very clingy to me in the day which is unusual.

So far I have dealt with it by going in giving back the bunny and walking out. Usually I have to do this 3-4 times and tonight I have actually got her back out of bed again (I feel like this might have been a bad move) after 4 bunny replacements and hysteria because I could feel myself getting really pissed off and am now sat drinking wine while DD watches in the night garden wide awake - possibly she just wasn't tired yet (it is only 6.40pm so a bit earlier than usual but she has been awake since 2pm so I went early).

Anyone experienced this and have any advice? Really hoping all our progress with sleep was not a phase and we are now back to crap sleep, I was just starting to feel like myself again after bordering on insanity before!

1lov3comps Sun 21-Aug-16 12:06:54

Is there a way to attach the bunny to her pjs using a soother slip or something so she can't throw it?

upthewolves Sun 21-Aug-16 12:14:20

That is a good idea. She doesn't use a dummy so I haven't got one of those but that may be a solution - I will try and find one!

NapQueen Sun 21-Aug-16 12:16:55

I think it's cause and effect. She wants you. You come when she throws bunny away.

No idea how to fix it sorry bar silently replacing the bunny with no eye contact each time. If she isn't getting any attention from you for it then she will tire of it in a few days fingers crossed

allthecarbs Sun 21-Aug-16 12:17:43

Personally I wouldn't give it back straight away.
When she throws it I'd wait at least 5 minutes, then hand her it back silently and leave the room.

fluffikins Sun 21-Aug-16 13:08:59

Yes, as above, wait to give it back. Mine did this and I just ignored her for a min or two (I was in the room at the time trying to attempt gradual retreat) and I only gave it back later, she soon stopped it.

upthewolves Sun 21-Aug-16 15:57:41

Thank you! I think you are right. This definitely feels intentional from her, although I think once she has done it she becomes genuinely distressed, she just doesn't seem to remember this the next time - maybe giving her five minutes to feel the consequences each time would help. I will give it a go and try to ignore the crying for 5 mins.

It's 11pm now and she has stayed down thankfully with one bout of grizzling so fingers crossed that bunny stays in the cot a while and I get some uninterrupted sleep! Thanks all.

donkir Sun 21-Aug-16 16:07:20

Is she throwing or is it falling out the sides? My 18 month old has a monkey (he has 4 of the same one) and he has 2 in his cot at any one time just incase he falls out the side. I also have air wraps that go around the side of his cot to prevent them falling out.

nephrofox Sun 21-Aug-16 16:09:49

It's a phase. My now 16 month old still occasionally does it. I just return bunny (in our case it has dummy attached to it so double sense of loss I think). Sometimes give her a cuddle and say "poor bunny, don't throw bunny away, we love bunny"

3littlefrogs Sun 21-Aug-16 16:11:44

She is 12 months old!
Do you seriously expect her to understand cause and effect and remember for next time?

upthewolves Sun 21-Aug-16 16:17:16

donkir No I watch her do it on the monitor, she drops it over the side - it's too big to fall through.
Nephrofox Thanks! Hopefully this phase passes soon!
3littlefrogs... Yes? I don't really know! This is my first DC and I don't know how much abstract thought she is really capable of at this age. Sorry if that sounds stupid.

Flossiesmummy Sun 21-Aug-16 16:20:49

OP: 12 months is old enough to know exactly what she's doing. I'd tell her before bedtime that if she throws the bunny tonight you won't bring it back straight away. Tell her that mummy is busy and has other jobs to do. Bunny will be given back when you have time. Talk to her about how sad she will be without bunny.

To PPs who don't think that 12mo children understand cause and effect, consider this: if you asked that same 12mo child to pick up their toys to win a reward of chocolate, I'd bet they'd pick up their toys. I'd also bet that they'd willingly tidy further items in the hope of receiving further treats. Kids are smarter than we think.

RafaIsTheKingOfClay Sun 21-Aug-16 16:27:36

The fact that she's doing it repeatedly shows that she is beginning to understand cause and effect, surely? It's a trajectory schema, she's just checking that the same thing happens every time she drops it. It's annoying as hell, but it will pass, although I think I'd be inclined to do what others have said and wait a minute before giving it back.

fluffikins Sun 21-Aug-16 16:39:00

Mine knew at 12 months exactly what she was doing, there'd be a glint in her eye before doing it, same as chucking food off the highchair or trying to climb the stairs wink

NewNameFriday Sun 21-Aug-16 16:40:31

12 months is old enough to know exactly what she's doing.

Anyone remember when babies used to be left outside shops in big old fashioned prams?

Baby sitting up in pram drops cuddly toy over side. Kind hearted passer by picks it up and gives it back. Baby drops toy again. Next sucker picks it up and gives it back. Baby drops toy again...

And I recall seeing my then 13 month old nephew deliberately deciding to do something he'd been told not to. He had a good look round to see if anyone was watching before he went ahead and did it. He didn't notice me.

ElphabaTheGreen Sun 21-Aug-16 16:41:56

To PPs who don't think that 12mo children understand cause and effect, consider this: if you asked that same 12mo child to pick up their toys to win a reward of chocolate, I'd bet they'd pick up their toys. I'd also bet that they'd willingly tidy further items in the hope of receiving further treats. Kids are smarter than we think.

You're kidding, right? How long has it been since you've had a 12 month old? confused

I could offer my just-turned-2yo DS2 chocolate to pick up toys until I was blue in the face and he would have no idea what I was asking. If I gave him chocolate after one tidied piece of Duplo, he'd give up on the Duplo and get increasingly irritated about the lack of more chocolate. Fuck sake.

OP - I do concede that she knows that throwing her toy out means you'll come, but she may be going through some kind of stage where she's feeling insecure due to a developmental leap or similar and needs to know you'll continue to respond to her. Can you maybe sit with her while she goes to sleep to get her through this?

IME of two hideous sleepers, 18 months or just after is when late-developing sleepers start to settle into settling and sleeping patterns that last long term. Anything positive at 12 months, for your own sanity, should still be viewed as a temporary respite, rather than a permanent change. It will all go tits-up again with the next tooth/illness/change of wind direction.

Flossiesmummy Mon 22-Aug-16 20:34:34

Elphaba clearly we have very different children. confused

I'm sure the OP will know her child well enough to determine whether her child understands cause and effect.

QuestionableMouse Mon 22-Aug-16 20:41:12

Can you clip/fasten the bunny the the cot so she can't chuck it?

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