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13mo still waking 2-4 times a night...

(4 Posts)
KW89 Mon 15-Aug-16 21:54:41

DS2 has never been an amazing sleeper, we had a period of about 2 weeks a couple of months ago, where he was waking once and going straight back down again, but that has gone out the window, and he can wake up to 4 times a night, sometimes for an hour or more, I just don't know what to do?

We only offer him one milk feed through the night (should I go cold turkey and drop this? We have tried water, but he just guzzles it, wants more an hour or two later, then wakes with a huge wet nappy at 4am) the other times that he wakes we settle him with a hand on his chest, it is hit or miss whether he will take a dummy.

He has never self settled, I have dropped him to one nap 12-2 and he goes down fairly easy for this (like at bedtime one of us will sit by cot with a hand on his chest) but 9/10 he's asleep within 10 minutes, however often wakes an hour into his nap and needs resettling...

He shares a room with his brother (almost 3yo) who doesn't wake when DS2 cries in the night, but I don't leave him screaming as obviously don't want DS1 to be disturbed too much, so we do tend to get in to him pretty quickly. Any ideas? Husband is very good and willing to help, and is home each night except a monday, so it isn't all on me, I have back up!

He eats 3 good meals a day, infact he eats as much as his 3yo brother, and has milk in the morning and milk before bed at 7, he is offered water through the day but isn't overly keen on it. We have a good bedtime routine with both boys.

Anybody?! Tell me it gets better? DS1 was sleeping through 7pm-8am at 12weeks.....

minipie Tue 16-Aug-16 16:47:42

Honestly? I think the best thing would be to move your 3yo somewhere else for a week or so and teach your 13 mo to self settle.

He has got used to - indeed may be dependent on - your hand on him or milk feed to get himself back to sleep. I would suggest putting in place some alternative sleep cues (soft toy to cuddle, white noise maybe?) and then gradually wean him onto going to sleep with those rather than your hand on him by using "gradual retreat" - even if that involves some crying.

He sounds like he has a good routine and plenty to eat so really it probably is the inability to self settle that is causing the wake ups.

Don't do it when he's teething or ill though, obv.

KW89 Tue 16-Aug-16 20:18:52

We already play whitenoise in the room. Don't have anywhere else for DS1 to sleep, we are in a very small 2 bed :/
Would you start by getting him to self settle at naptime and then move onto bedtime? Or just go for it with all sleep? Would you gradually cut down the amount of milk we give in the night, or just stop and start gradual retreat?
My boys are complete opposites with their sleep!
Thankyou for replying smile x

minipie Tue 16-Aug-16 22:07:03

Oh tricky. Any room even for DS1's mattress on the floor in your room, maybe if you moved your bed over? Or in living room? It would hopefully only be for a few days, max a week so not long at all - and sounds like he is a fab sleeper so would adapt to a different temporary sleeping arrangement.

I think I would aim to drop the night milk altogether, just make sure he has decent meals and bedtime milk so you don't worry that he's hungry.

I was told by a sleep consultant that it is much easier to teach self settling at bedtime so I think I would start there. Though your DS is down to one nap quite early so is probably pretty tired at naptime so that might make it easier at naptime. Ideally you would do the same at every sleep time, nap, bedtime, any night wakes - consistency is the key or it confuses them.

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