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I can't even make a rod for my back!

(13 Posts)
Rollonbedtime7pm Sat 06-Aug-16 19:53:52

My DD is 14 weeks and started life appearing to be my best sleeper (she is number 3) - would doze off on your knee and be put down awake at bedtime. She has a dummy and this used to just soothe her off.
We started to do a bedtime routine at about 6 weeks as she consistently conked out around 8pm and slept a good few hours. She was OK at going down but has got worse and worse as the weeks go by.

Every night now she is yawning and rubbing her eyes from her last nap so we try to get her down by 7. She has a brief routine and then a bottle. The crying then starts. She won't be rocked, walked, left, shushed, patted, anything!! White noise doesn't work, nothing shuts her up! She ends up just passing out exhausted.
I can't stand it any more! I just feel like, stop whining that you're tired and then refusing my help!
She isn't colicky and doesn't have reflux. She is the happiest, smily baby all day and then at bedtime I just want to chuck her out the window! confused
Help!

YellowSquirrel Sat 06-Aug-16 20:49:32

No help from me sorry... just wanted to say you are not alone. I really hope you get some advice soon.

My girl (12wks) cries when put in cot but cries even harder (screams, arches back) when we pick her up to settle. It is bloody hard isn't it!?!

Rollonbedtime7pm Sat 06-Aug-16 20:55:34

I just wish something would work - I don't even care at the moment if she had to be rocked every night but she won't even accept that! Not asking for her to self settle, just to let me help her without the screaming! sad

Tumtitum Sat 06-Aug-16 21:10:32

Again no advice but my DD was the same, from about the same age! Drove me mad when my husband didn't understand why I couldn't just rock her to sleep (he could sing her to sleep but didn't work for me!!!). Eventually she did start to self settle a bit. Now she's stopped self settling but will let me cuddle her to sleep and I don't care! I remember trying to rock her to sleep for two hours once with her wailing in my ear confused
Don't know if it'll be of any help at all but at one point I found if I let her cry/shout (not a proper distressed cry but more an angry I don't want to go to sleep cry!) for a few minutes then when I picked her up she was slightly less resistant..
I feel your pain!!! winewinewine

Tumtitum Sat 06-Aug-16 21:12:50

Ps at her worst I found that listening to music through ear phones and sort of dancing and jiggling her really helped me through it smilesmilesmile

BertrandRussell Sat 06-Aug-16 21:16:03

Have you tried more milk? Lying down with her?

BertrandRussell Sat 06-Aug-16 21:18:20

I'm sure you have- but I know that with breast fed babies the first instinct is to plug them in and sometimes just a bit more milk is all they need. And with bottle fed babies you may not think of it if they've just had a bottle. Wirth a try?

YorkieDorkie Sat 06-Aug-16 21:20:26

4 month sleep regression?! Just early and lasting far too long maybe? I feel your pain!

Cookingongas Sat 06-Aug-16 21:24:34

No advice, six years on and l still grimace at the thought of dd1 at that age. I don't have a success story (beyond time that is) but can offer understanding. Many of us have been there X

LovelyWeatherForDucks Sat 06-Aug-16 21:34:11

Poor you, DS2 (generally a good sleeper!) went through a phase like this. I think i just made sure I was with him, holding him, etc, until he finally conked out - although it didn't really help, it made me feel better! Or on occasion, i gave up and took him downstairs for 10 mins for a change of scenery, and re-started the bedtime routine. I also (even now, aged 1) often give him a baby toy in his cot (just a soft/texture lamaze toy type thing - with safety considerations in mind etc etc), having something to fiddle with seems to distract him from crying and then he drops off without fuss, likewise a star projector thing has been quite successful. Also, I'm sure you know this, but yawning/eye rubbing is a 'late' sign of tiredness so perhaps starting bed earlier would help, or moving last nap a bit later.

Rollonbedtime7pm Sat 06-Aug-16 21:35:14

Thanks all - God it sucks doesn't it?

Not sure about the milk, she is usually on her second feed in a couple of hours by bedtime (they end up running close together by that time of day!) so not sure if she could even fit any more in! Worth a try though I guess!

My DS and DD1 were also bedtime screamers (actually DD1 was worse! shock) but I think I must have just blocked out the memory as I can't remember at all how we got through it or how long it lasted! grin

cexuwaleozbu Sat 06-Aug-16 21:40:44

We had this.

TBH with hindsight, when we eventually cracked how to achieve peaceful sleep using the advice in "secrets of the baby whisperer" I became convinced that the whining and crying that went on for hours in the first half of each night actually meant, if only he could speak and had the understanding to know what he needed: "please just stop singing songs and rocking and generally stimulating me, I am so tired I just want to be left alone"

Once DS was a little older and was a little verbal he would still shout and cry for a few minutes before sleep "no sleep no nap not tired" over and over again for no more than 3 to 5 minutes and could literally go from shouting that to deep snoring in less than 5 seconds.

Babies don't understand sleep. They do not know that this crushing feeling of exhaustion is due to lack of sleep and will be relieved by sleep. She is crying because she wants you to take the tired feeling away just like you are able to take the hungry feeling away by giving milk.

I'm not for a moment advocating sleep training or C.I.O. - but reduced stimulation, low attention and gradual withdrawing can be exactly what some babies need, and not every cry is a wish for a cuddle.

Rollonbedtime7pm Sat 06-Aug-16 21:49:24

You are probably right cexu - I remember with my DS he was very much "take me away to a dark room and leave me alone" when he got tired.
I am not against just putting her down and replacing the dummy as needed but I guess I just feel a bit mean! Like I am doing some sort of controlled crying which she seems too little for! And I say this as someone who did use this method for my other 2, i'm not against it in principle!
Bloody minefield these babies!

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