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Argh! 4 year old suddenly won't go to bed

13 replies

ProjectGainsborough · 03/08/2016 21:28

She just keeps getting out of bed. We've always done a story, quick cuddle with lights out and then left her to drift off to sleep. Suddenly she keeps getting up. She finally went to sleep at 10pm last night, 9.15 tonight.

The only technique I know is the supernanny 'just keep carrying them up to their beds, while repeating the same phrase' one. But tbh she just thinks it's a game and once I've carried a 4 yr old up the stairs 20 times, muttering 'goodnight, see you in the morning,' I'm about ready to snap.

DH is away on business, I'm working like a mad thing in the day and the only time I have to sort everything in the house is after the kids have gone down. We're going on holiday in 2 days and I haven't packed a single pant.

And .... Breathe.

Any advice?

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GirlWithTheLionHeart · 03/08/2016 21:47

My 3 year old starting doing this. We set an alarm on our phone and when it goes off we (me and H) make a big deal like oooh the alarms going off quick!! he leaps into bed so fast. Then I tell him the alarm wants him to stay in bed and he does! Might work for you, might not!

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ProjectGainsborough · 03/08/2016 22:09

I'll try it, thanks. I'd try anything right now!

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antiqueroadhoe · 03/08/2016 22:12
  1. Tell her during the day that when she goes to bed she is not allowed out of her room.


  1. When it's time to go to bed, do a slow quiet calm story, remind her she's not allowed to leave her room and walk out.


  1. 1st time she leaves the room tell her it's time for bed and take her back. Remind her she's not allowed out her room.


  1. If she comes out again do not speak. Not a word. Put her back in her bed.


You mustn't say a single word to her.
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antiqueroadhoe · 03/08/2016 22:13

Also when it's daytime ask her what the problem is. It might be she no longer likes it when it's dark - leave light on on landing.

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Muskateersmummy · 03/08/2016 22:17

My 4 year old started doing this. We have done two things

  1. Moved bedtime forward half an hour. She was actually becoming over tired by moving everything forward she is actually going to sleep earlier
  2. I allow her to play quietly or "read" quietly for 10 minutes. But that's it, if I have to come up after that she gets removal of some kind of privilege. We pinky promise that she'll play quietly and then I'll call up in ten minutes and she'll go off to sleep. Mostly though, she asleep before the ten minutes is up.
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ProjectGainsborough · 03/08/2016 22:24

Good ideas thank you. Yes, I'll definitely ask her what's up in the daytime. Can't believe this hasn't occurred to me - blame tiredness!

Also moving bedtime earlier is food for thought. She was definitely tired today - I could see it.

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Muskateersmummy · 03/08/2016 22:26

That's what made me move it forward. She was getting really sleepy and resting in front of the tv around 5, then come 7pm at bedtime she was wired and wouldn't sleep. So now I do bedtime between 6 and 6.30, she has a bath and is safely in bed by 7 asleep by 7.15. We had been at a point she was going to sleep when I came up at 9.30/10

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imwithspud · 03/08/2016 22:33

Our 3 yo goes through phases of doing this. We tell her that if she messes around at bedtime she will lose out on a privilege the next day (usually tablet time). We do follow through if she continues but more often than not she settles. Seems to work well for us.

We've also considered sticker charts.

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ProjectGainsborough · 03/08/2016 22:35

Typically DH gets back from his trip at 6 tomorrow, so she'll be all excited. I might make him wait outside till she's asleep

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Muskateersmummy · 03/08/2016 22:36

That's definitely worth trying. We have done that a few times to ensure dd was not made over excited at bedtime

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Jayfee · 03/08/2016 22:40

Ok a bit early to start but i used to tell my dd that father Christmas sent his elves out to see whether children were in bed. It did work. Good luck

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ProjectGainsborough · 04/08/2016 19:14

It worked!

A combination of earlier to bed and telling her that FC's elves were coming to check to see who was asleep.

I did nearly throttle older DS when he decided that bedtime was the right time to play lots of loud, excitable, screaming games with DD, but a stiff word sorted that out. He should reap the benefit, anyway, as he'll get a lot more one on one attention now that I'm not trotting upstairs every five minutes.

Thanks all Flowers

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Jayfee · 04/08/2016 20:37

Hope it continues!l

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