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Can't cope any more

(13 Posts)
Feelingblue222 Tue 02-Aug-16 00:36:42

Not sure why I'm posting this really, don't think there's anything much else I can try but yet again it looks like I'm pretty much up for the night now and I really feel like I can't cope any longer. I am just so tired. I have no temper left, I barely trust myself to drive, and I just feel so angry all the time.

DS is 6m and started off brilliantly with sleep-went 8 hours at 6 weeks then stopped abruptly at 3months.

He usually self settles fairly well (put down when sleepy with dummy and maybe have to pop back once or twice if he loses it) but he only sleeps 30-45m in the day and at night will go up to 3 hours after 7pm bedtime but is then often up every half hour, up to maybe an hour and a half.

I don't think it's hunger as if I do feed him at night he seems to comfort suck rather than feed and he's been on solids for a few weeks.

Tonight he won't even settle back to sleep with a bf. I don't know what to do!

BlondishBear Tue 02-Aug-16 02:16:14

I'm in the same boat. DS is 7 months old, has 2 or 3 half hour naps in he day, is never asleep at night before midnight and wakes every 1-2 hours for a comfort feed if I stay awake holding him. Put him in his cot and it's a half hour if you're lucky.

Feelingblue222 Tue 02-Aug-16 02:48:08

Sorry you e got the same issue beat (but kinda glad it's not just me!)

I just don't get it, we have a routine intone day although it's v relaxed, and he self settles after a while-I don't get why he can't at night!

Have given in and got him in my bed now and he still only went 1.6 hours!'

cwtchesandcheese Tue 02-Aug-16 03:48:46

Glad not alone. My DD won't sleep anywhere else in the night but my arms and just wants constant feeding. Lucky my hubby is about and after her last Feed before midnight, he'll take her till he goes to bed whilst I try to get some sleep. Then he gets shattered and we swap till the day. As far as I'm aware, Its completely normal and it's just exhausting work. Just remember that this will pass. I can't get over that I've been a mum for a week already! I'm not trying to fight it, just accepting it. No it's not a walk in the park but before we know it she won't be a baby anymore. Do you have anyone that can watch her for five in the day? Make a world of difference xx

RNBrie Tue 02-Aug-16 04:29:17

What do you do when he wakes up? How long do you leave him for to resettle?

We had something similar to this with dd1 and gave her 5 mins to resettle (we timed it because it feels like ages when they're crying!!). We then started to increase the time we left her, a minute every night. We discovered that if we left her for 9 mins, she went back to sleep. So we did that. A couple of nights in and she stopped expecting us to turn up in the middle of the night and stopped waking up.

kiwimum4 Tue 02-Aug-16 04:50:47

I feel for you. Been through it twice.
Is there any pattern to his waking?
My DD1 woke up to 10x a night. Doctor/HV said do sleep training, I did. She didn't want food, would wake screaming. Night terrors diagnosed at 8 months hmm
Eventually after persistence got a referral for paediatrician who diagnosed silent reflux and sleep apnoea she was already 2.5 years so I was a zombie by then.
I'm not saying that's what your DS has but it might help to keep a diary to see if there is a pattern. Also to track what he has eaten in day (may help if it's an allergy) If it continues then you can show the HV so you have evidence to back it up.
In my experience the attitude is very often your a first time mum (if you are?) and that we are 'overreacting' but go with your gut.
Good luck flowers

KurlyWurly88 Tue 02-Aug-16 04:52:16

I'm the same - my baby will sleep for 4/5 hours tops at night, and no more than 30mins in the day after MUCH cajoling. But she is 10 months now hmm
I've totally given up.
I'm at my wits end.
I only hope that she will sleep through one day - I can't see it being soon.
It's a vicious cycle, I don't have the energy to be a sleep train ninja at night (esp the 4-am slot) as I'm SO TIRED!
Other ppl/mums with sleeping babies don't understand.
I'm a reluctant co-sleeper, it's the only way I can get some rest!
Hope she leaves the bed at some point though!

MYA2016 Tue 02-Aug-16 08:19:18

No words of wisdom but in the exact same boat with 6.5mo DS and have been for almost 4 months now.
He was so much easier as a newborn. Hv diagnosed me with pnd when I sobbed and sobbed to her (absolutely am not depressed, just totally exhausted ) and doctors just laughs in my face and tell me welcome to motherhood.
In the day he is the happiest baby ever, smiles are everyone, never cries ever etc. Will only sleep in my arms in the day and at night on a good night he'll go down at 7.30 and wake at 10.30, then 12, 1.30, 3, 4.30 and up for the day at 5.30, bouncing and smiling away happy as anything. While is sit and sob lol
So I guess just want you to know you're not alone

MYA2016 Tue 02-Aug-16 08:21:09

Oh yes , meant to add we co-sleep too from about midnight as otherwise he would stay awake all night.
He is more than happy to sleep in his cot in his nursery prior to this, but at midnight something switches and we can be up 3/4 hours trying to get him back down so we opt to bedshare

puglife15 Tue 02-Aug-16 20:20:42

Kiwimumwhat were your baby's symptoms? My baby has awful wind and is sick a lot but doesn't seem in pain.

I came on here to start a similar thread. DS2 is 5.5 months.

Pretty sure he's overtired as he looks exhausted and ends up screaming a lot but how the hell do you break the cycle??

Every thread says "get him to nap longer however you can" what like buggy, sling, white noise, car, co sleeping, feeding? None of them bloody work! If I try to get him to nap earlier than 2 hours he screams and screams as well so I can't "put him down" sooner.

Also I have a 3 year old, I can't spend all bloody day trying to get him to nap but I so half the time

Last night I had 3 hours' straight sleep for the first time in ages. Felt like a new woman today. Worried it was just a fluke.

Fomalhaut Tue 02-Aug-16 22:11:02

flowers it's awful isnt it?
It may not be anything you're doing/not doing and there may be no magic technique to fix it. Some kids are just poor sleepers.

We've had the sleep specialists from the hospital work with ours. We have routine, on paper we are doing everything right. He still won't sleep. 6 months was when outs had a real further deterioration (I had managed some progress before then) I think it was a combination of teeth and separation anxiety. Is your little one showing any signs of either? Not much you can do for teething. Separation angst? Well go with your gut. Our little guy is clingy anyway and was getting very afraid of being left. Keeping him close, constant reassurance (mummy's just having a wee, I'm going to come back just in a minute.. Here I am! ) and telling him I'd be back helped a bit. Mainly what helped was the teeth coming through (six at once no wonder he felt shit) and time to get through the separation stuff.

It's really difficult-you have my sympathies! Hang on in there

Fomalhaut Tue 02-Aug-16 22:15:15

MYA flowers (currently cuddling mine back to sleep for the seventh time tonight...)

One day I'll sleep for more than an hour and be invincible....

cerievans1 Thu 04-Aug-16 17:33:31

I have every sympathy. My LG is 8 1/2 months old and we "think" she is teething but she only has one tooth so far.. about a week of unsettled nights culminated last night in a hugely unsettled night. My LG woke after an hour, then cried for an hour despite calpol, was taken out for 90 minutes in the car by my husband to ensure she wasn't overtired (so I slept for an hour!), then cried again for an hour, eventually decided she would fall asleep next to me on the carpet of the nursery... 3am let me put her down in her cot and woke again at 5.30.... daddy got her to sleep again then until 8.30am... even sharing this with my husband and doing split shifts it feels horrendous. I completely understand you saying you can't cope, I think it is harder when they are older and you know they can sleep for much longer. I know my lG can sleep until 3-4am straight from 7.30 and that I "should" be able to go to bed at 9 and have an hour with my husband without constant tears. I keep reminding myself she is in pain and it is not her fault, she just needs our love but when you have woken for the fourth or fifth time in a night that just feels a hard pill to swallow. I know it doesn't make it easier to tell you this but it happens to us all.

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