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How to make a baby sleep...?

(12 Posts)
Itsaplayonwords Wed 27-Jul-16 10:02:33

DD2 is 5 weeks old and wants to be cuddled ALL the time. When she was in SCBU she slept most of the time and self soothed without a problem. When she came home she didn't settle quite as easily but she would at least sleep in her cot. For the past week or so she won't settle in her cot at all. She'll only sleep if one of us is holding her. If we lay her down she wakes up within 10 minutes.

I've read about the fourth trimester and I understand her need for closeness. I'm anxious about continuing with doing this though as I'm worried it's what she'll come to expect and she'll never settle in her cot. I've considered co-sleeping and I'd be happy to do it if I felt there would be an end point but I know so many people who did this and then their baby would never sleep well in their cot.

I've got a sleepyhead which she won't sleep in, a sling which she will sleep in but again, I don't want to set bad habits, I've tried swaddling and rolling up a towel under her sheet to create a nest. We have Ewan the Sheep. None of this makes her happy to sleep on her own sad

DD1 is an AWFUL sleeper. Even now at 2.6 she wakes up in the night, although she usually settles quickly once we go to her. Everything DD2 is doing, DD1 did. I don't want to set her on the path of bad habits like we did the first time around.

Help! What can I do?

ASheepLessOrdinary Thu 28-Jul-16 08:15:55

Our DD was the same at 5 weeks, I believe they go through a clingy phase at that age which peaks at 6 weeks. Now at 9 weeks, things are much improved, DD is starting to learn to self-settle and we just managed 11-7 with one night feed for the first time. I would go with it and hope it improves over the next week or so. 5 weeks old is really too young to be setting any habits.

Purplebluebird Thu 28-Jul-16 08:19:17

I would rock until fast asleep and then put down. (until eyes closed and then another 2 minutes ish). It normally worked, but you might have to find the right technique to put down. Also - I rocked with baby upright sort of leaning on my shoulder if that makes sense, as he didn't like the traditional sideways style :p

Purplebluebird Thu 28-Jul-16 08:19:52

Sorry I misread! If she wakes up straight away I don't know grin

Purplebluebird Thu 28-Jul-16 08:20:26

that was supposed to be shock smiley...

Sorry I'll stop spamming now!

LapinR0se Thu 28-Jul-16 08:21:30

Are you feeding to sleep? Normally that's why they wake up after 10 mins

Itsaplayonwords Thu 28-Jul-16 09:40:06

Thanks all. Yes we are inadvertently feeding to sleep. She's breastfed and falls asleep at the breast, I don't know how to stop her. Any suggestions?

SleepFreeZone Thu 28-Jul-16 09:53:33

I have a three year old and a 5 month old and have adopted similar principles with both.

I expected with my first that he would be in a Moses basket, then a crib, then a cot. I was surprised to find he just screamed instead, oh and threw up. So he ended up in a rocker (HV approved it) that had him tilted more upright and we co slept, then I got a co sleeping cot and he transitioned from there into a cot and was sleeping through at 6 months.

My baby has been more difficult. He refused to sleep in anything but my arms, so I propped myself up using lots of pillows and basically dozed with him on me every night for probably 3-4 weeks. Yes it was crap but we both got some sleep and the rest of the house could sleep. Then we played musical beds for a few months, so he would be in his rocker, then his co sleeping cot, then in with me, all in one night. We are now 5 months in and there is improvement. No need for rocker now, he starts in his co sleeping cot and wakes twice or three times for a feed. Once we get to about 3am I know he won't go back in his cot without SCREAMING, so once he has fed he stays in the bed with me and we co sleep. Once he gets past 6 months I will start to think about him going in his own room in a stand alone cot and it will be around this time that I expect he will drop to one feed and then none.

I fed my eldest to sleep and I'm doing the same with the baby. I also allow some self settling too. They were/are both EBF. I honestly don't believe that one technique works or that cuddling or feeding your child can ever be wrong. I think leave all expectations at the door and expect to mix it up and eventually you will get there.

Maybebabybee Thu 28-Jul-16 09:58:45

Tbh I really wouldn't worry about setting bad habits at 5 weeks old. You'll drive yourself mad. DS is 4.5 months now and I did everything "right" from birth to get him to "self settle" - put him in cot, did not feed to sleep bla bla.

Well he will settle in his cot sometimes but more often than not it requires a lot of sleep props - dummy, swaddle up until recently, loud white noise, total darkness...

What I'm saying is all babies are different. Just do what works for yours.

Maybebabybee Thu 28-Jul-16 10:00:25

And if baby is falling asleep at the breast I wouldn't worry about it. DS did at that age and now he won't ever do it for love nor money. I wish he would tbh so I'd have an easy way of settling him to sleep!!

Itsaplayonwords Thu 28-Jul-16 10:50:16

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply and sharing your experiences. I think I'm disproportionately anxious about her sleep as a result of my first daughter hating sleep with every fibre of her being. I've always thought that we created the sleep problems but perhaps she was always going to be a bad sleeper and whatever we did wouldn't have made a difference. It's difficult to draw comparisons between what each of them have done at different ages because DD1 was born at 28 weeks and was in NICU for 9 weeks. DD2 was born at 33 weeks and in SCBU for 10 days. I never know if I should judge sleep habits by actual age or corrected age or the length of time they've been home. If it's corrected age then she's currently minus 1 week so I shouldn't expect too much!

LapinR0se Thu 28-Jul-16 12:03:12

Take her off the breast when she falls asleep, sit her up and wind her. If she's still hungry pop her back on.
Then put her down awake and she will sleep at least a full cycle of 45 mins

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