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Any advice for 5 month old... At breaking point

(15 Posts)
Lbee123 Tue 26-Jul-16 21:51:38

My 5 month old has always had at least one feed during the night, sometimes two.

We started getting 4-5 hours of say 10-2/3 then 6 and we've always co-slept. Used to go straight back to sleep after feeding during the night but had to be held and rocked to sleep for the initial sleep at bedtime.

Now he will sleep 7:30/8- 12:30 (maybe waking for a feed in between) but from 12:30 onwards it's constant waking. Sometimes he's got his eyes shut but is whining, thrashing, pulling on his ear. He hasn't got an infection because he recently had a cold and his ears were checked several times. If I could put him in his own bed the initial stirring wouldn't disturb me but I've tried ignoring him to see if he will go back to sleep and he ends up waking more and then crying so it's easier to settle him when he's with me.

I've tried everything, white noise, rocking, feeding but he is so unsettled during the night at the moment. We were ebf and I've even started giving him a bottle of formula to see if it helps but it makes no difference. Once he starts after midnight it's non stop all night and I'm so exhausted.

I've been doing bedtime routine of bath, baby massive with bedtime baby oil and then a lullaby toy in the background while he has a bottle. I know you're supposed to put them down when they are sleepy before they go to sleep but I've tried and he just wakes up and then ends up crying which makes it harder to settle him.

Do I need to carry on with putting him down half awake? Or is he still a bit young?

I don't mind getting him to sleep but I'm wondering whether this is the cause of all the night wakings? Or whether it's just a phase... Or maybe teething?

I put him in his bed at 7:45 which is still in our room... ended up settling him 3 times after that and now I've just caved and he's lying in bed next to me. He's not even touching me though I don't know how he can tell the difference!

Any advice or experience welcome!

FATEdestiny Tue 26-Jul-16 22:30:52

Have you tried a dummy? Some babies don't instinctively take to a dummy but persevering is definitely worth it IMO. Dummies are the simplest means of no crying independent sleep.

I would also consider a bedside cot. Remove one side off your full sized cot and butt it up to your bed. That allows you to cuddle right into the cot to settle the baby, reinserting dummy as needed, but then extract yourself once baby is asleep.

Did you used to swaddle when he was a newborn? You mentioned thrashing around. A swaddle would help calm, sooth and still a thrashing over-tired baby - but only is the child is already used to being swaddled. It is too late to safely introduce a swaddle now if never used before. But a tightly tucked in sheet may help 'pin him down' at sleep time.

Coffeelover56 Wed 27-Jul-16 07:43:16

I've read that ear pulling is a sign of teething.

My DS is 5 months too and he tends to wake up every hour at the minute. I feel your pain!

GirlWithTheLionHeart Wed 27-Jul-16 07:44:45

Give him Calpol

MunchCrunch01 Wed 27-Jul-16 07:47:42

I agree I'd try calpol sounds like teeth, and agree re dummy, dc2 liked to wake up, suck a bit, go back to sleep etc, the dummy helped

Lbee123 Wed 27-Jul-16 08:05:53

He has a dummy, it helps a little bit but he's recently discovered how to take it out which is a pain haha.

My bed is too high I think. I originally looked at the next to me I think it's called? But my bed is a really high divan and it was a good 5 inches higher. He has never really been keen on a swaddle either, if I tuck him in now to keep him cosy and warm he always takes his arms out.

It's horrendous isn't it coffee! Sometimes I wonder what the point in going to bed is, the constant wakings feel like torture.

I'll try the calpol at bedtime and through the night tonight. Hopefully it works, the idea that it's a short term (ish) thing helps a bit rather than this just being how he sleeps now ha.

I don't know how people cope with work and babies that don't sleep!

MunchCrunch01 Wed 27-Jul-16 08:57:29

I sleep trained at 8 months - it worked really fast. I went back to work at 7 months and I had to, and it made DC happier. The HV told me that after 6 months they don't really need to be fed so often at night and she started sleeping beautifully at 8 months, it made things so much better.

Lbee123 Wed 27-Jul-16 09:09:56

Ohh what method did you use Munch? And how long did it take?

I go back to work in October and I'm dreading it. I've got a longish commute and the thought of doing that after nights like I've had recently makes me feel sick ha.

Houseconfusion Wed 27-Jul-16 09:19:02

We are both at full time work and our nine month old is teething and waking each night

One of us has to drive 55 minutes in m1 south daily and back for work

The other has to either drive 90 minutes on m1 north for work thrice a week or so back to back online meetings at home twice a week

We are dead.

We died two months ago.

Not one bloody tooth yet.

MunchCrunch01 Wed 27-Jul-16 09:20:48

it took 2 nights - I did the pick up, put down where I went in every-time I felt she was distressed, cuddled her and put her back in the cot. It was easy - from never going in the cot i had half an hour/40 mins of mucking about the first night, and 10 mins the next and that was it, after that she went in the cot without any bother (this was after co-sleeping every night before that), I tackled going to bed first, and when she was doing that fine, a month or so later we did the same for night wakings. I put my shirt & some snugglies in with her, the one I've been wearing - read about it on here, seems to really help in our case. October's a good way off, DS will be eating some food by then so you'll have the certainty of knowing it's not really hunger.

MunchCrunch01 Wed 27-Jul-16 09:23:23

house and Lbee the only other advice I have is, find a lovely babysitter/family member and get away for the odd weekend. We do it only about once every 6 months but it helps soooo much. It's awfully expensive but just knowing you can have a lie-in, some interrupted sleep, an interrupted dinner, possibly even a glass of wine I found got me through the dreadful sleep deprived days. Don't feel guilty - DC2 was about 7 mos the first time we did it - just overnight, and she was fine. It helped our relationship too. Better to have happy parents than parents always on the verge!

DollyBarton Wed 27-Jul-16 09:39:57

Ive a 7mth old who was co-sleeping most of the time and waking 6-10 times a night every night since birth. I moved her into her own room 3 nights ago and she has just slept through the last two nights. I realise on the monitor she cries every few sleep cycles but only for a minute, maybe less. As it gets closer to the morning she cries for more like 2 minutes and a bit stronger but she still went back till 6.15 this morning. At 6.15 she was cooing and playing so that to me is a sign she is rested, happy and ready to get up.

This is my third baby in 3 years. They have all (the middle one to a lesser degree) been horrific sleepers and up many times a night till I moved them into their own rooms and stopped feeding them at night. In all cases, despite different personalities and reactions in general, it took maximum 3 nights (dc3 was by far the worst and only took one night) to suddenly start sleeping through. I did this at 7months ish for all of them.

So from my experience, cosleeping is great for the first 4 maths or so to get some sleep but then you actually disturb the child from sleeping properly once they are a bit bigger.

OP give your db some space and tentatively let him cry a bit (not hysterical! Just whinging and gripeing) and see. They do need to learn how to settle themselves in my experience but need to be left alone and quiet a bit to actually do it.

PisforPeter Wed 27-Jul-16 09:44:45

Ibuprofen syrup is so much better for testing than calpol, give him a dose of that 30 mins before brdtime tonight as a trial to see if it's teeth??
HTH, hugs, it's bloody hard work flowers

PisforPeter Wed 27-Jul-16 09:45:12

teething 😳

Lbee123 Wed 27-Jul-16 10:10:03

House I don't know how you do it! Just getting us up and dressed to the shop is a challenge at the minute I'm so tired, never mind a full day in work with a commute... Your post made me laugh though, it's horrendous isn't it.

Thanks Munch that doesn't sound too bad. A friend of mine tried that too but her baby was around 9 months when they did it. I'll give it a go when he's a little bit older. And a weekend away sounds amazing... Even a night away. I'd spend the night in a hotel room in bed watching movies uninterrupted with a bottle of wine followed by a lie in! I might even squeeze a meal that's still hot in there 😍

I've read a few people saying that Dolly... I just can't bear the thought of putting him in his own room to then have to get up out of bed to see to him if he wakes as often as he is now. And the same when he whinges, I leave him a little bit but then I stress that if I don't settle him quickly enough he will wake himself up too much and then not go back to sleep.

I have that in too Pis so I'll try that tonight. Thank you... I thought it would get easier from him being a newborn.. Had a bit of a shock ha.

Right tonight my plan is; bedtime routine as normal, ibuprofen, in his crib in our room and no rushing to settle him as soon as he wakes (while I sit downstairs obsessively watching him on the baby monitor 😂)

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