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Sleep training - HELP ME :'(

(12 Posts)
Fuzzyduck21 Wed 20-Jul-16 11:45:24

Ds is 10 months. Will only fall asleep in my arms and while walking around in a darkened room singing. It has been getting gradually worse as he now gets fed up being held. It can take hours to get him to sleep. I took the baby whisperer book out of the library as something needs to give as neither hubby or i have time to ourselves as evenings consist of trying to get ds to sleep. Ds also refuses naps during the day. A lot of the time he will only have one in the morning leaving him very grumpy for the rest of the day.

Tried pick up put down last night. Went ok as he had been awake for 7 hours straight. He woke up in the night but had bottle and went back to sleep ok. Tried again fo morning nap. It was very distressing and took 90 min. I ended up getting in the cot with him as he was so distressed.

What the hell do i do? I'm trying to follow this sodding regime but he has only just gone to sleep when he should be waking up for a snack. What do I do now?

Help. Im really desperate sad

MessyBun247 Wed 20-Jul-16 11:47:17

Was he actually tired when you were trying to get him to nap this morning?

mouldycheesefan Wed 20-Jul-16 11:53:53

90 mins is crazy, i would have stopped after half an hour, it takes time to get into a sleep routine it isn't going to happen day one. If he isn't tired at morning nap time then keep him awake until the next nap time if possible this will require a lot of input from you And ways of keeping him awake e.g paddling pool etc. He should then be tired for that nap.
I wouldn't get in the cot with him, mummies don't sleep in cots. If you have more children I would get them into a healthy sleep pattern with self settling much much earlier. Good luck 💐

twoundertwowillbefun Wed 20-Jul-16 11:54:26

He sounds really over tired - I know it might be hard to do but I think you need to pop him down into his cot and just take a seat right beside it until he falls asleep (you can sing, stroke him whatever you feel like) - he may cry and whinge but I found that my daughter NEEDED to let off a little steam before falling asleep and now is so much better smile Babies have all different sorts of cries and if you are right there with him he's safe, loved and cared for so doesn't need to be walked about or picked up. I think the baby whisperer kind of advocates this sort of method....its just hard to take the first leap as we react to every single whimper and feel like we are abandoning the baby (which of course isn't true and not how the baby thinks either)

puglife15 Wed 20-Jul-16 16:31:43

Ugh sounds like me with DC1, it was grim.

I think he might be too old for PUPD? Or am I getting it mixed up with shush pat? Either way they didn't work for us.

Definitely set a limit - say 30 minutes - on the time you'll spend trying to get him to sleep.

We ended up putting him in cot and sitting next to him reassuring him as best we could but not picking him up or rocking. It was hell and he screamed for nearly 1/2 hour but after that we did see some improvements.

Fuzzyduck21 Wed 20-Jul-16 17:29:26

For one reason or another I have not had the mental strength to put him into a sleep routine until now. He has been a challenging baby and i have found it very tough going but now feel ready to tackle the sleep. Yes it's probably a bit late but couldn't manage it earlier.

He was definitely tired this morning. Always is 2hr after waking. Yawning and playing with ear. Tried to put him down for second nap in same way. Was definitely tired. Wouldnt go to sleep. Gave up after 30 min and now hes playing having not slept since midday. What are your suggestions? Any other training we can try suitable for his age? Don't want to do cc.

Pug did you just put dc into cot and sit there? Did you touch him? I think my ds would scream for more than 30 min. Really not sure what to do now sad

Sapphire123 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:54:11

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puglife15 Thu 21-Jul-16 03:20:36

Fuzzy we put our hand on him, and spoke to him, just no actual picking up. It felt awful but at the time I was at the end of my tether and I figured we weren't "abandoning" him. He wasn't in a developmental leap and hadn't yet got separation anxiety. I had to hand over to DH.

Should add that a few months later his sleep went to shit again ;) but then got better and stayed fairly good for a year or so, till we took bars off his cot.

LapinR0se Thu 21-Jul-16 21:58:53

At 10 months I'd be aiming for a nap of about 30 mins max at 9 then a long nap 12.30 - 2,30 or 3. Then down for the night at 7. Does that seem possible?

Fuzzyduck21 Thu 21-Jul-16 22:34:32

Yeah he ended up with very similar timings today and he did go down okish for bed but was fairly grumpy between 5-7 as think he was overtired by then. Everyone keeps telling me that 'sleep breeds sleep' so don't know whether he needs 2 long naps a day but waking no later than 4pm for the last one. Who knows!! I am seriously considering a sleep consultant but not sure if they ALWAYS actually work.....

LapinR0se Fri 22-Jul-16 07:50:15

I'd wake him up by 3 every day. He needs a short nap in the morning and a long one at lunchtime at this age.
If he can't last til 7 then put him down at 6.45

mouldycheesefan Fri 22-Jul-16 07:52:12

Agree with lapin rose. Keep going, it can take up to three weeks. You are making progress.

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