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Hand holding needed! Struggling with toddler and baby

(12 Posts)
Huishnish Sun 17-Jul-16 16:57:44

Hi all,

Wondered if anyone could share some coping strategies! I have DS1 22 months and DS2 12 weeks and am struggling at the moment. DS1 who used to be a great sleeper has suddenly started screaming when I leave the room after puting him down, and wakens during the night and is almost impossible to settle. The baby is pretty easy, up 3 times a night for breastfeed and relatively easily settled, but between the two of them I'm averaging about 3 hours sleep a night. Thats with going to bed at 9! I know things will get easier but I'm seriously struggling. DH has a v stressful job and works away a lot so I'm on my own with no family near by. Plus we're moving house in 3 weeks. Does anyone else feel overwhelmed by juggling both children's needs? Let alone having any time/head space for yourself..

Any advice/support greatly appreciated!

Babytalkobsession Sun 17-Jul-16 20:17:21

Oh my Goodness - huge sympathy for you. I have Ds1 (2 yr 8 months) and new baby DS2 (2 weeks) and also struggling but I have DH around mostly, although he's going away for a couple of days end of this week.

It's so hard dealing with different needs and unfortunately I have no advice to give... Surely it'll get easier??

Ds1 was awake for 3 solid hours last night and still carried on today with ridiculous energy and no nap. He fights bedtime too, some nights it takes us 2.5 hours. We used to have lovely 7-7 sleeps sad

Assuming it's something to do with new baby's arrival?

I hope it gets easier for you flowers

Abby21 Sun 17-Jul-16 21:21:03

In same situation. It's hell so I hear you. Although my toddler has nevet slept well. No advice unfortunately.....maybe someone will come along to help us!

mrsreddington Sun 17-Jul-16 21:52:40

Huge sympathy as I've been there. Dc1 is now almost 2.5 and dc2 is 7 months. The first 6 months were horrific and I honestly don't know how I coped. Things have started to get better over the last 3 or 4 weeks.

My toddler has been a terrible sleeper as well. I found he slept better after lots of fresh air but that's not always easy to do with 2.

Are you in a position to pay for any childcare? My community centre has a crèche, cafe and fitness classes. I'd sometimes put the kids in the crèche for a couple of hours and have a coffee...or a sleep in the carblush

Oly5 Sun 17-Jul-16 21:54:58

Just sending sympathy. I had a 22 month age gap and it was torture.
You will
Get through it! Just don't put too
Much pressure on yourself
To do anything other then keep thee three of you alive x

Huishnish Mon 18-Jul-16 20:19:38

Thanks for all your replies, really helps to know I'm not the only one who finds it bloody hard. Mrsreddington I do have a nanny who used to help me out when I was working and she comes occasionally when I'm at the end of my tether! I feel guilty about it but don't know how I'd cope otherwise. Oly5 yes, I often think if I get to the end of the day with everyone fed, washed (them not me!) and still alive then we've done pretty well! Thanks again

mrsreddington Tue 19-Jul-16 13:29:14

Don't feel guilty. You just have to do whatever gets you through the day.

puglife15 Wed 20-Jul-16 08:34:33

I feel your pain. 4-5 hours of broken sleep a night is starting to take its toll 5 months in. Baby will still only sleep on / next to me for naps so I literally have a child on or next to me all day. Unless I'm driving. And usually At least one of the children's screaming when I'm driving. We have no help. If you can afford a nanny v more often I'd go for it!

Huishnish Fri 22-Jul-16 14:52:59

Hi puglife, sorry to hear you're having a nightmare too. I often find driving somewhere the most relaxing part of the day but more recently I've had the same experience as you.. At least one screaming 😁 DH is gone now for 7 nights and we move in under 2 weeks. I literally can't find a moment in the day to organise anything. DS2 had been going down about 7pm but back to cluster feeding these last few evenings or waking again at 9:30 for a feed. Hoping it's just the heat....

ashley0710 Fri 22-Jul-16 20:28:01

Hi i was in the same situation and my toddler is 3 and baby is now 10 months, I found it hard until around 5 months-ish then things got easier. Don't get me wrong I still have days where things go up the wall but it does defiantly get easy :-) plus it's a bonus that they both now sleep through! Phew!!!
I think it takes some getting used to with two little one xx

ashley0710 Fri 22-Jul-16 20:30:05

Was meant to add get out the house even for a few hours when you don't feel like it, go for s walk or park soft play ect
I found it helped just having general chit chat to other mums and the mum and baby groups too they are great for support xx

Huishnish Fri 22-Jul-16 21:11:00

Ashley you're lucky that they're both sleeping through! DS1 didn't start sleeping through occasionally until 11 months so am paranoid it's going to be the same with DS2... Although he's already a bit better I think hope hmm

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