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Help me feel better about bad habits for 6 month old...

(10 Posts)
MYA2016 Mon 04-Jul-16 09:22:08

After sleeping through from 6 weeks to 13 weeks, then entering the 4 month sleep regression hell and being up 2 hourly for 2.5 months... I finally thought we were getting somewhere.
DS is 6mo next week and we moved him to his own room a few weeks back and found a huge improvement. He started falling asleep on his own and waking just once a night for a quick feed.
However things have gradually slipped... He now cries as soon as placed in his cot so I'm back to breastfeeding to sleep. He's then waking every 2 hours again and will use my breast as a dummy, sucking for a minute or two before sleeping.
He won't take a dummy I've tried and tried.
The last few nights come 11pm even bf won't settle him and he's waking the second he's put in his cot. After an hour of continuously picking him up getting him to sleep and putting back down we give up and he's then coming in our bed for the night.
All his daytime naps are still in my arms or the carseat!
Never thought 6 months in I'd still be in this situation.
Someone offer any words of wisdom?
Are these really bad habits and when is good time to break them?
Bf to sleep, naps in arms, bed sharing at night... I feel like the only one and can't help but feel like a failure.
DH is very supportive
Any ideas about why he won't settle in his cot during the night anymore?
I should add I combination feed with formula so he's definitely getting milk and he's also weaning and is doing brilliant so he's not hungry.

Tangoandcreditcards Mon 04-Jul-16 09:34:13

Firstly. It's not bad habits and it's not you.

My first DS was/is like this. Didn't nap in a cot until he was 1 yo (in arms, bouncy chair or mattress on living room floor). Always rocked or fed to sleep until 14mo. In bed more often than not with us 6-14mo and then again from 22mo until now, and wakes once or twice a night. (I didn't say it would get better, just that it isn't your fault!).

DS2 is 6mo. Has 3 naps in his cot at same time every day. Sleeps 11 hrs with one feed at night. Takes 1min to put to bed. We did v little differently.

My advice. Do whatever it takes to maximise sleep for all.

MessyBun247 Mon 04-Jul-16 12:40:31

I could have written most of your post! Although my DD is only 5 months. I still feed to sleep, Co sleep, let her use me as a dummy etc.

I'm not worrying about bad habits and just doing whatever I need to do to make sure she's happy and getting enough sleep!

I'll maybe try her in her cot in the next month or so, but if she won't settle I'll just keep co sleeping.

Beanzmeanzcoffee Mon 04-Jul-16 12:49:07

Yep I'm the same. Just shy of 6 months and he's rocked to sleep during the day and feeds every hour or 2 overnight (mainly using breast for comfort to go back to sleep). We co sleep too. Every time i put him in his cot he wakes and I just can't be bothered trying to 'break him'. He's my second and I'm a much gentler parent this time. By 6 months my first had a routine, and slept in his cot and wasn't rocked to sleep. It was easier in some ways I suppose but a bit heartbreaking getting there and I still regret letting him cry as much as we did. DS2 is definitely the happier baby.

mynameisntLinda Wed 06-Jul-16 22:54:27

I have a 14 month old that has always been bf to sleep for night time and naps. After the sleep regression he was waking every 2 hours for months and everyone told me i should stop bf and I was making a rod for my own back and i should let him cry it out... DONT LISTEN TO ANYONE!! my 14 month old now sleeps through the night or only wakes once and i've let him do this himself. They all do things at their own pace. If you've got a supportive dh and you can follow your baby's lead then go with it.

re sleeping arrangement, just do whatever works. ours is that one of us lies on our bed with him and he bf or has a bottle, once asleep he goes in his cot, then if/when he wakes in the night if he doesn't settle in cot then i just bring him straight into our bed between me and dh and he goes back to sleep, often without a feed, just wants to stroke my arm or play with my hair. Just do whatever works, sod anyone else :D

zzzzz Wed 06-Jul-16 22:58:12

Sounds like a very loved and cared for baby. How lucky you both are to be able to give him such a start. Well done, he will grow strong and know he is loved.

I have 5 similarly raised little people, they out grew me.

DavidPuddy Wed 06-Jul-16 23:04:08

You're nit the only one. My 6 mibth old feeds to sleep at night and for naps. She also sleeps in with us for half the night. I don't care at all. It is easy, we all get lots if sleep and she is a remarkably happy baby.

One trick we do is feed her to sleep on our bed then transfer her to the cot when we go to bed. She is so asleep at this point that she doesn't notice.

TangerineTrees Thu 07-Jul-16 06:39:32

Ditto!
I often think the problem isn't what you're doing with your baby (which incidentally sounds absolutely fine!) but what your/our expectations are due to other people. Particularly those who are very vocal about "rods for your own back" etc etc.
Do what you need so you all get some sleep. Your LO will get there in his own time.

alicebiscuits Sun 10-Jul-16 22:06:10

Thanks everyone for posting on this - really helpful to read!

Dachshund Mon 11-Jul-16 09:29:44

This is so reassuring.

DD is 7 months and has never slept through. She was EBF for 6 months and has been weaning and eating food well for a month now. I've always fed her to sleep or let her nap in the sling in the day. I do worry I'm 'creating a monster' as my friend's babies are very different and my MIL (who is a HV angry) keeps saying 'helpful' things like 'we just need to get her off that boob' because she wants to have DD over to stay at her house and she wants to feed her!

It's so exasperating. DD is happy and aside from it being annoying I can't get anything done while she's napping in the day because she's on me, I'm happy too!

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