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Question re Self settling

(14 Posts)
Ninja12345 Wed 29-Jun-16 11:46:07

Hi all, I'd like to teach my 14 week old DS to self settle for day time naps. I have loved holding him for naps but he's getting too heavy! At the moment he naps either by being rocked, patted and then held for duration or in the sling. I know he is too small for CC so not going to do that. I am planning to use the No Cry methods. To do this as quickly as possble, is it best to have all naps in the same place at home? As in, don't use the sling at all? Or can I do a combination of both and always do the morning nap at home for example?

At night he feeds to sleep so heavily that I cannot wake him without something drastic! So I'm focussing on day time and hoping jt helps at night. He's not a good nighttime sleeper but thats down to hunger.

Thanks in advance.

fluffikins Wed 29-Jun-16 20:01:53

Actually research shows that hunger isn't the main cause of night time sleep issues, it's actually largely genetic.

In terms of naps then id just hold him until he's heavy and then transfer but I'm no expert, my one year old is still held for all naps, even at nursery, and her night time sleep is awful!

FifiFerusha Wed 29-Jun-16 22:13:45

I did shh pat at that stage. It takes about 45 minutes the first time you try it but if you perservere, it gets easier and you can lessen the amount of shh and patting quite quickly etc....however, now my 11 mo will self settle for bedtime, but struggles sometimes with naps. .all the milestones, teething and occasional poorliness set them back so do not worry too much about it at 14 weeks x x x You may well get somewhere before you know it and then, bang, a new method has to happen. Sounds like you have a plan though so worth a try.

And off the record there were always some naps I had to do in slings, what with school runs to do or the evening catnap he always refused. At that time he would still always self settle for cot naps regardless. So, don't worry about helping them to sleep sometimes x x

Ninja12345 Thu 30-Jun-16 08:54:07

Thanks for the reply. I didn't realise that sleeping was generic. I've not read that ao useful to know

Ninja12345 Thu 30-Jun-16 08:56:14

Thanks Fifi, thats good to know that pat/shh works but just the first time takes longer.

Do you think I should plan a week (plus) of naps at home to do this effectively?

splendide Thu 30-Jun-16 11:09:09

I did co-sleeping naps. I know it sounds wrong but I think it really helped along the path to him settling himself as it meant he learned to nap lying on a flat non-moving surface (baby steps and all that!).

I also did all naps at home which has sometimes been a pain - he's nearly two now and he will really only sleep in his cot.

daisydalrymple Thu 30-Jun-16 11:24:23

Dc3 takes his nap in his pram. I must have started a bit later than you, as I did it when he was down to two naps a day. He's 20 months now so just has the one nap, but I think round about 8 months I went out for a walk at nap time for a week, then the following week started putting him in the pram in the kitchen/ diner. Nappy change, lullaby cd on (sometimes washing machine finishing, he likes white noise luckily!) then in pram and usually off in ten mins. It works for us as it means if we're out and about he happily drops off in the pram if he's tired, so we've never been tied to the house for nap times, which would have been tricky with two older DC.

Just an alternative to think about for one of the naps maybe, to give you the flexibility. But I appreciate cot works best for some. (Can't help with the bedtime settling, still working on that one hmm )

splendide Thu 30-Jun-16 11:26:25

I wish I'd kept pram naps going - I'm really tied to the house. Although on the upside it means (at 20 months now) he doesn't tend to do that thing where they drop off for 4 minutes in the car at 5pm thereby setting bedtime back by two weeks.

daisydalrymple Thu 30-Jun-16 11:31:13

Haha, love it splendide 2 weeks how well I know that one. For us it's the slightly delayed bedtime owing to ds1 or dd having swimming, brownies etc. My mum still insists oh he'll be really tired if he's a bit later going down, he'll be out like a light for you. Um no, actually he then monkeys around for an additional hour or so!!!

Honestly, dc3 and I still haven't cracked this sleep lark grin

splendide Thu 30-Jun-16 11:36:35

Yes! The delayed bedtime is also a disaster. We can have a whole extra hour of singing and marching up and down cot as a result of a late bedtime.

Ninja12345 Thu 30-Jun-16 20:18:21

Thanks all. It sounds like its best encourage a combo of both but always have the same naps in the same place to get him to self settle. Just got to start doing it now, easy! 😉

FifiFerusha Fri 01-Jul-16 19:52:30

Seriously, take your time while it is given to you, and make it fit around you. Some naps in the cot will be useful to practice sleep training but just be realistic about what works for you and when sleeping in a pram will be better. i spent so much time focusing on my DS sleeping in his cot that now he will not sleep in a pushchair.They can deal with a mix of it if that is all they are presented with. Don't make the mistakes I did. I am not sure if sleep training needs to be as consistent as they make out x

CaitAgusMadra Sun 03-Jul-16 22:13:24

I stressed so much about self settling and napping in the cot with DS1. Now with DS2 (9 mo) he just has to go along with whatever I am doing with his brother. He has some cot naps, some in the pram, some in the car. He used to sleep in the sling but he's far too heavy now for my back to cope. It means he'll pretty much sleep wherever and it's been great

Ninja12345 Mon 04-Jul-16 08:55:36

Cait and Fifi - I think you are both right. I am so focussed on naps that I just need to relax about it! I need to get him out of only sleeping on me in the day though but I can change that slowly then it would be great.

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