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Light sleeper, finally lost it

(21 Posts)
catlike1979 Sun 26-Jun-16 12:09:31

I'm a ridiculously light sleeper and have trouble getting to sleep and also getting back to sleep once woken. I've posted on here before about my difficulties surrounding sleep but last night I think I hit a new low!

5 mo DS sleeps in our room, last night after 3 hours of listening to him wriggle and shuffle in his sleep (he's fast asleep) I couldn't take it any more and left the room. I went nextdoor into spare room where DH was sleeping (he's usually good at night but he'd been out drinking so we agreed he'd sleep nextdoor as we often bedshare with DS), got into bed and told him I couldn't take any more of it. I then just totally lost it and started crying and punching the mattress in sheer desperate frustration. I basically had a huge tantrum, DH tried to calm me down but I just kept on pummelling the bed and shaking him away from me.

The sleep problem in our house is mine, not DS's. I need help!

Has anyone got any tips for light sleepers....hypnosis?? I have tried deep breathing, ear plugs, white noise and no success. I really don't want to move DS to own room as he's only 4 months corrected (was 6 weeks prem) and is EBF so night feeds would be more difficult.

And also - has anyone been so sleep deprived and frustrated they've done something like this? Pummelled a pillow even?? Anyone? Please help me feel normal!!!

Fomalhaut Sun 26-Jun-16 12:26:50

Lack of sleep is used as torture for very good reasons. It really does break you mentally. I am a very light sleeper and insomniac (and so is my baby ds so there's not much sleeping going on in our house right now.)

Firstly it's ok to have had a meltdown. Pummelling the mattress is probably the best outlet smile don't be harsh on yourself for that.

I've found that when you're lying awake, it's best if you dont try to sleep. Just lie and think 'my bed is comfy. I'm resting. Even if I don't sleep, I'm resting.' It sounds odd but it really is useful.

I'd also see if your GP can get you a sleep clinic referral- you might have sleep apnoea for example. Other than that, the only thing that helps me is melatonin.

Coconut0il Sun 26-Jun-16 21:20:46

If you have a spare room could you sleep in there? Babies can he very noisy sleepers.. Does it bother your DH? If not when baby is settled could you go next door? Even if it is only for part of the night? Does your DS still wake?
Sorry for all the questions, just trying to think what we would do. I normally BF DS2 to sleep. If I was in your situation I would probably still do that. Read for a bit till DP came to bed then he could sleep next to DS2 and I would go in spare bed. At 5 months DS2 was still waking so either DP could wake me or I would use a monitor, feed back to sleep. You would still be waking but maybe get more sleep in between? Just an idea anyway.
And don't worry about the tantrum, no one was hurt, best to let it out rather than hold it in.

Abby21 Sun 26-Jun-16 21:40:55

I moved baby to own room earlier than advised because of this reason. I was near a breakdown from now sleeping and had to be able to cope so this was the only solution for me. I also use earplugs if baby stayed in my room....though not found any perfect ones as always fall out.

Also did hypnosis when suffered severe insomnia in pregnancy. It's awful and exhaustion is terrible....thinking of u x

Purpleboa Sun 26-Jun-16 22:04:08

Been there with the pummelling! Worst thing I did was throw my mobile phone across the room. It broke and I was mortified blush I was just so sleep deprived and frustrated. It's absolutely normal.

Artandco Sun 26-Jun-16 22:10:12

I would give Ds a dreamfeed at 11pm, then sleep in spare room and either night wean him so he only has water 11pm-6am or get Dh to give him formula in a bottle.

Leave Dh and baby in room and sleep alone 11.30-6am for at least the next week to get a solid 6+ hr sleep.

I would also practice methods of deeper sleep. No tv or computer use 2 hrs before you want to sleep. Try and take a walk in the evening ( maybe you can all go after dinner). Get some white noise maybe so you don't hear every other noise

Chloris33 Mon 27-Jun-16 14:02:04

Don't feel bad about the pummelling! That's fine, totally understandable, and doesn't hurt anyone! I have PN insomnia and today I was so tired I wasn't quick enough to realise when trying to sort out buggy in front yard that DS had got out of the front gate onto the street (for a few seconds) where he could have run into the road - thankfully grabbed him in time, but that is something to feel guilty about. I just posted about trying CBT for this. CBT is evidence based - it's been tested in clinical trials, whereas hypnotherapy hasn't so much (I'm a psychotherapist). It's very expensive, though, and I would recommend seeing a clinical psychologist/ fully accredited CBT therapist only for it as there are plenty of poorly qualified CBT practitioners out there. Hugs, it's SO hard, I know. Xxx

splendide Mon 27-Jun-16 15:48:56

I used earplugs when DS was in my room. Would definitely still wake when he cried but helped with the snuffly snorty. And I have definitely found myself enraged by lack of sleep before.

lemoncakes Mon 27-Jun-16 16:07:42

This is why I moved DD to her own room at 8 weeks! Even when she was only feeding 2 or 3 times a night it was taking me a good hour to get back to sleep due to her noises (and Ewan's singing grin) so I seemed to get about half an hour of sleep before she started crying for milk again. It totally broke me and I have never felt worse in my life due to the lack of sleep.

I found once she was in her own room I was still waking for the feed but then once it was over and I was back in bed I fell asleep much quicker and therefore felt much much better.

Dingdingdong Tue 28-Jun-16 20:59:41

Hi Op - I really really sympathise as I also have this problem. With my second DC I did sleep at least two nights a week in the spare room with DH in with the baby, which helps a bit. One other thing that sometimes work which was suggested to me was lying and going through the alphabet finding something on a theme for each letter - so say fruit, town names etc eg Apple, banana, cherry. Apparently this activates a different part of your brain which then helps you sleep. I do find it sometimes does working I ensure I keep concentrating on it ( and allow myself to move on if totally stuck on a letter!).

If you do discover anything which helps please post again!

waitingforsomething Wed 29-Jun-16 04:36:18

I am a terrible terrible sleeper - really light and any cough, snuffle or movement keeps me awake. DH is exactly the same. I'm afraid both my children have gone in their own rooms very young because of this - I could not look after them in the day on no sleep. At 5 months he will be okay in his own room - you have to save your sanity when you are a poor sleeper. Totally sympathise.

RNBrie Wed 29-Jun-16 04:44:24

I also slept with ear plugs and we swapped sides of the bed so dh slept next to the baby. He'd only wake up if she was properly awake and then he'd wake me up.

I also took a herbal sleep tablet, I can't remember the name, possibly natracalm sleep melts or something similar. Yellow box, available at Boots. They definitely seemed to help.

Also, try having a 10 min bath with Epsom salts every other day, magnesium helps regulate sleep.

catlike1979 Fri 01-Jul-16 09:43:28

Thank you so much for all your replies. Dingdingdong that letter trick really helps! Thank you!! Glad to hear it isn't just me. Being a light sleeper is so annoying isn't it!!

Pootles2010 Fri 01-Jul-16 09:50:49

I would say DH in room with baby, you in next room sounds a good solution. Whatever you need to do!

LurcioAgain Fri 01-Jul-16 09:50:52

It's horrible isn't it? I'm sure hormonal changes play a part - I used to sleep really soundly prior to DC now get woken by any noise. It may sound strange but I find saying to myself "it's just a little noise, could just be the neighbours moving around, if it was something that needed my attention it would be much louder" really helps me to go back to sleep.

cerievans1 Mon 04-Jul-16 18:07:27

because of the sleep issues, I have to go to bed at 8.30. I sleep in the spare room on my own, with my head underneath two pillows. I am such a light sleeper I hear doors opening downstairs and footsteps. I had to move baby into nursery at 6 months as her light sleep 4-7am approx was waking me repeatedly, but also hubby reading/listening to the radio through earphones/moving wakes me up. I never had a single problem with sleep before baby was born, 8/9/10 hours at a stretch. It is soul destroying not being able to share a room with my husband but whenever I get a bad night I thank my lucky stars for the 2/3 nights that follow that are okay. Once you do move baby, I would advise either you ditch the monitor and leave a door open or get your hubby to take it. My husband takes the monitor every night, he wakes me to feed baby and goes immediately back to bed. It seems to reduce my anxiety. So nice to know I am not the only one too. Hoping I will eventually get 8 hours sleep in a row at some point before I retire.

splendide Mon 04-Jul-16 21:25:17

Yes second ditching the monitor sooner rather than later assuming you don't live in a giant mansion. We have the monitor downstairs till we go to bed and turn it off. We can certainly still hear him fine if he wants us but don't hear every cough and wriggle.

EsmesBees Mon 04-Jul-16 21:47:21

It's terrible isn't it. Mine also went into her own room at 4 months for this reason. Before that I used to feed her at nine and then get 3/4 hrs in the spare room and DH would wake me when she next wanted milk. Our spare bed was incredibly uncomfortable but I slept much better than when In with her.

Sanchar Mon 04-Jul-16 21:54:17

<feels the pain>

I too am an extremely light sleeper. I used wax ear plugs, got myself some 5htp, which is a natural sleeping pill(I was ff, this is probably extremely unsuitable for bf), and just suffered until the baby went into its own room.

Now have my own room and it is a silent haven!!

RandomMess Mon 04-Jul-16 22:00:17

Just another one who couldn't room share with their babies. I lasted about 10 days with DC1, 3 days with DC2 and didn't even try with DC3 - fortunately our house/doors are very small and thin. But they were fast asleep and I wasn't and going very loopy with it.

I find listening to music helps, I think it just distracts me which helps me switch off but there again my parents used to put me to sleep next to the TV "to get me used to noise" - put the TV on in and bed and I'm nodding off in minutes...

flowers I'd be in the spare room and leaving DH and baby to room share!

CowVersusMouse Mon 04-Jul-16 22:03:44

The alphabet game is great. You can also visualise in great detail a journey you do every day and imagine all the things you're looking at as you travel. Having said that, I'm getting fuck all sleep at the moment.

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