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Please help desperate

(13 Posts)
Timetogrowup2016 Wed 15-Jun-16 14:05:33

Dd 17 weeks. 12 weeks corrected age.
Has had 25 minutes sleep since 7am.
I've tried
White noise
Walk in pram
Caboo sling
Bouncy chair
Swing chair
Rocking to sleep
Feeding to sleep
Dark room with black out blinds
Light room with general noise.
Hoovering whilst baby in sling

Don't have a cat so can't drive.

She's not crying. Just not sleeping. She feeds fine and is not unwell and has not recently had her jabs.
This happens every day and I'm loosing the plot tbh. Yet my oh comes home and sleeps for him sad just not me. I've never enjoyed one day with dd as she's such a night mare tbh.
I've tried everything.
Between 7am-5:45pm I managed to get her about 1 hour of broken sleep.

My poor oh has to have her at night now as I just can't mentally cope . We used to do alternate thr nights. I break down in tears the second he comes through the door each night and ring him at work every day sobbing..I'm not depressed because when she's sleeping I'm fine.
I try and nap after 90 minutes awake but it's not working. I've tried after 60 minutes awake and 120 to and nothing is working

Vikkijayne2507 Wed 15-Jun-16 14:22:09

I feel for you I really do my ds was never a good sleeper I spent most of my day out walking on cobbly pavements as it was the only way of getting him to sleep. Even now he won't sleep for me at home at weekends ( he's 2 and goes to nursery all afternoon as I work ) but naps like a dream there. My oh used to go out for his nighttime walk at 10pm and would take him for breakfast in the morning for 2 hours to let me sleep. It's horrendous and I'm about to do it again but this time will pass. Ds sleeps all night now but doesn't need much sleep never did

Timetogrowup2016 Wed 15-Jun-16 14:25:21

I've been for a 2.5 hour walk today. I got 10 minutes sleep from her the whole way sad
. She needs the sleep though. Come 5:30 she'll be hysterical from over tired Ness but nothing works anymore.
I've given up for an hour and she's on her play mat.

lalath Wed 15-Jun-16 14:26:56

DD is the same.

Since about 13 weeks, she will sleep only a total of 1 - 1.5 hours in the day, in 10 - 30 bits of broken sleep. Like yours, she seems absolutely fine, and doesn't seem tired.

I've just given up on spending all my time trying to get her to sleep - it didn't work and it was making me miserable. So now I just kind of go with it. DH works overseas, so I never get a break any way - her night time sleep is okish, though. Not great, but okish.

Timetogrowup2016 Wed 15-Jun-16 14:29:36

The thing is she'll sleep when my oh settles her in the day at the weekends just not for me for some reason.
I feel for you I couldn't do this alone. I'm a shadow of my self now.
I just want to enjoy her but every day Is a battle

lalath Wed 15-Jun-16 15:07:07

Is the problem that you yourself are not getting enough sleep? Does she sleep well at night?

Is it that her crying in the evening is wearing you out?

I'm just trying to figure out what it is that is so upsetting for you, before I can see if I have any advice!

What was upsetting me was all the trying to get her to sleep, so I just stopped doing that. Also, that I have no time to do any housework, really, and the place is a tip. I've massively lowered my standards, and for the first hour she sleeps at night I let her sleep on her stomach (she sleeps better that way, and I'm awake and keep checking on her), which gives me an hour to do the essential cleaning. I also have a five-year-old ds, so I've totally given up on housework during the day or else he will get no attention from me at all.

fluffikins Wed 15-Jun-16 15:15:52

Looks like you've tried a lot which might in fact be the problem? Ie too much going on. I would probably put her in the sling and go out for 2 hours and just let her look at the trees etc. While you walk around slowly.

CityDweller Wed 15-Jun-16 15:26:47

How does your OH settle her?

peardroplets Wed 15-Jun-16 15:45:10

They don't all need to sleep in the day as much as everyone makes out. In the discontented little baby book by a GP and researcher (ie a scientist not a bullsh$t merchant baby guru type)
she says that the range of normal sleep is staggeringly wide. I think it can vary from 9 to 18 hours a day so some babies need double the amount of others. Maybe your baby is just one that doesn't need so much daytime sleep. How much does she get at night? You don't mention night time sleep so hopefully that isn't so problematic. if that's the case seriously don't stress about it and just get on with your day and if she sleeps she sleeps. ignore the gina Ford routine pushers whose methods fail to understand the massive variability in baby sleep.

And if it's any help my dd's daytime sleep suddenly went into a routine by her own choice about six months. Until then I just went with her erratic short bursts of sleep. Please don't stress about daytime naps so young if everything else is going ok x

peardroplets Wed 15-Jun-16 15:46:25

BTW The book is really excellent reading if you are interested and is by a lady called Pamela Douglas.

lalath Wed 15-Jun-16 15:54:08

Agree with peardroplets - dd seems totally fine on little-to-no daytime sleep. I didn't sleep much as a child, either, and I was perfectly fine just gazing around and chattering to myself.

Seems like one of those things I would look back on and wish I didn't stress about - so worth stopping stressing now. Unless she isn't sleeping at night and thus you are getting no sleep - that is sthg that would need addressing, for your own sake.

Dachshund Wed 15-Jun-16 16:31:30

Totally agree with others. My DD never slept more than 12 hours in one 24 period after she turned about 3 months.

I regret all the stress and anguish it caused me thinking she must sleep every 90 minutes for an hour or whatever it was. Once I accepted she would sleep when she was really tired we fell into a natural 3 30 min nap a day pattern.

It makes sense to me, I hardly needed any sleep as a child or really even now in adulthood. Part of the reason why I've coped well with her night wakings and feedings so silver lining!

Please don't beat yourself up about her sleep as long as she's happy and fed and loved she's fine.

Big un-mumsnetty hug to you OP

2beautifulkids Wed 15-Jun-16 18:37:25

This was me a year ago..
Try a poddle pod
Just try it they are like magic wands

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