Should I put my foot down about DD not napping at nursery?

[f1ddlesticks]

DD is 2.8, and goes to nursery 3 days a week. She stopped napping at home about 6 weeks ago, and on the days she's at home she goes to bed nicely and is usually asleep by 7.30/8pm.

On nursery days she still naps for about an hour, but is up and down like a yoyo at bedtime and rarely goes to sleep before 9.30pm. Nursery are reluctant to keep her up because they say she's tired and they don't like to actively prevent a tired child napping - but she's getting less sleep in total on those days. WIBU to be more insistent about her staying up all day at nursery? I know it's a busier day for her there, but it seems ridiculous that on those days she's clearly not tired at bedtime!

[AlexandraEiffel]

We went through this phase. It was just a phase. We didn't insist on him being kept up at nursery, as I felt they were the judge of what he needed at that moment. We did mention that he didn't nap at home so not to actively encourage him at nursery. But if he wanted to they let him. After a few weeks he stopped at nursery himself. I think a room change helped too as he was then in a room where less children napped.

[Haggisfish]

We did. We said we would remove dd if they let her nap. They let her stay awake and draw pictures. It took several terse conversations.

[FunnysInLaJardin]

we had this with DS2 at his childminders and it drove me mad. He wouldn't go to bed until 10pm as he had a nice long nap in the day. In the end we went with it, didn't want to fallout with our CM who had real trouble keeping him awake tbh. It didn't last long, although he has an older brother so has always been late to bed. Tonight with various activities they are still both awake at 6yo and 10yo. He has been like this since about the age of 3 or 4! Child free evenings have long since been a thing of the past......

[FunnysInLaJardin]

oh and I secretly think it is far easier for a nursery etc to encourage a small child to nap rather than have to entertain them all day.......I never really bought 'oh but he was so tired'. You just need your lunch in peace is what you mean!

[Girliefriendlikesflowers]

Could you just say to them only let her nap for 20-30mins max?

My dd found nursery quite full on and did need a nap there longer than she needed one at home iyswim?

[f1ddlesticks]

Thanks for your speedy replies! Yes they've even said Funny that they need that time to clear up after lunch (and presumably have a break) but there are other older kids that stay up. Because it's a very small nursery there's just one separate room where they all, bar a few, go to nap together Alexandra so we won't get that room change unfortunately.

A big part of the reason she's tired and wants to nap at nursery is because she's gone to bed so late! I guess it wouldn't hurt to suggest we try it out for a week ,and if she's nodding off in her tea later then perhaps it is too soon...

[f1ddlesticks]

They don't wake children up from naps Girlie - it's their policy.

[LittleElephant123]

As a nursery worker - it's your child and you tell them what you want to happen. We have loads of children who don't have day time naps but we give them quiet activities to do (stories, drawing, jigsaws) while their friends sleep. They love the extra attention they get when everybody is sleeping! You know your child better than anyone else

[trilbydoll]

We had this problem. DD has now moved up to the preschool room where they don't nap, is knackered, and bedtime is good for possibly the first time in her life.

If they want her to nap, they need to wake her up after 30 minutes. If they're not prepared to do that, then she doesn't nap. 'Not waking children up' is a ridiculous policy, all dc are different. Given the choice, DD would nap for 3 hours in the middle of the day and go to bed at midnight. Just because that's what she would naturally do doesn't mean it's a good idea!

[PenelopesToenail]

As a nursery worker
I would just like to say that this happens regularly and the reason is is because the child is up breakfasted and out the house a lot earlier on nursery days and also they will be a lot more active on a nursery day.
In this type of situation in the setting I work in we would recommend the child would have a chill out quiet time to recharge their batteries and or maybe just a 30 min nap.
When we have stopped naps all together on parents requests they've lasted 2 days and the parent comes back asking for naps because tea time was a nightmare or they fell asleep in the car on the way home etc
I think the age your child is is difficult for naps and every day should be treated differently.
I do fully agree that the nursery should be following your wishes 100%

[f1ddlesticks]

Thanks ladies... It is a tricky age, and I know it's a bit of a transition period. In six months I'm sure everything will be different again! I do realise she has a very different day at nursery, but when (as is happening now) she's still up because weve given up trying to keep her in bed after more than an hour of quiet time and consistently putting her back in bed, being boring, saying night night etc til she was just treating it like a big game, i don't really think it's doing anyone any good. The alternative is that I keep her up til 9pm each night, which I guess I could do but I'm pregnant and could do with a bloody rest too!

[Rinceoir]

Was wondering how things are going OP? Going through the same thing here. DDs nap has been cut to 30mins in nursery but she's generally singing and dancing until after 10, and exhausted in the morning. I wouldn't mind her staying up if she wasnt so unhappy at being woken up in the mornings.

[f1ddlesticks]

Well, today is the first day of no nap at nursery! We did ask in the end to trial dropping the nap for a week or two just to see how it went... And it's DP doing bedtime tonight so I'll have to see later how it went.

I did get the impression that nursery felt that 12 hrs sleep at night wasn't enough for a 2.10 yr old and that the nap was necessary too. But I don't honestly see how I can make her sleep more... she either gets 12 hrs at night, no nap, or 9-10 hrs at night plus 45 mins nap on nursery days. So surely 12 hrs is better?

[waitingforsomething]

my DD dropped her nap way before 2.8. She's your dd and if you think she's fine on 12 hours a night instead of nap plus shorter night then that's hyour call.
My DD had to stop napping at 2.4 if she wasn't to faff about till gone 10pm, my childminder was fine with it, just didn't put her down and gave her cuddles and stories on the sofa instead for a bit of 'quiet time'.

[DetestableHerytike]

Stick with it, OP. Better to get a regular bedtime.

[Gillian1980]

I think it's a bit of a sweeping statement to assume that little ones are up and breakfasted earlier on nursery days and are busier.

We get up at the same time as that's what dd's body clock is set to, breakfast routine stays the same. Then we're out and about, going to groups or the park or doing things at home. We don't stop!

We don't have a nice lie-in then laze about all day (I wish! Haha).