How best to go about helping DD

[BiscuitBeast]

Evening all,

I could really do with some advice on what steps I need to take as I feel lost and clueless.

I have a 4 month old DD who is a velcro baby. She wants to be held constantly. I have tried some slings (Ergo and Caboo) to try and make life a little easier but she screams and squirms. She will settle in a forward facing carrier for a short period but I'm mindful of the hip and spine problems they can cause at this age.

She has napped on me during the day since birth and sleeps on me at night. She has a Sleepyhead and Snuzpod that have barely been used; certainly not in the last 3 months. She will not settle. I have tried co-sleeping but she wakes after a maximum of 2 hours and will not settle until she is being held.

So not to disturb my 2.5 year old DS and everyone get as much rest as possible this has just been what's worked best for us.

I have reached my limit and desperately want to get her to nap and sleep in her cot. Now the weather is warming it's so bloody hot having her draped over me I can't imagine what it will be like in the height of summer. Plus I want to lie down to sleep and get some normality back! She feeds often through the night.

DD only naps for 45 minutes either in her pushchair, car seat or on me. She goes to bed at 6pm which is super difficult as that's when I'm cooking, bathing and spending time with my DS. I get little to no time with my DS which I find very upsetting. If my DH is home early enough from work I can go up to bed with DD at 6pm so she can sleep undisturbed and he can take care of DS. This just can't be sustainable though as I'd like to spend some quality time with DH too!

I bf DD, and gave up dairy in my diet as she really suffered. She would cry/scream a lot which greatly improved when i stopped eating dairy entirely.

I'm wondering whether bottle feeding would be better so my DH can help with her more. So far she has refused bottles and dummies.

I just feel lost for how to go about making changes and what to.do for the best. She's not a tiny baby anymore but still young that I don't want to stress her out (Cc etc) but things need to change for the benefit of the whole family.

I know everything is a phase but I'm worrying this velcro phase will last longer as I'm allowing her to constantly be with me?

TIA

[FATEdestiny]

Firstly in my opinion dummies are worth their weight in gold for allowing baby a way to suckle to sleep independently of you. Some babies do refuse a dummy but in my view persevering is well worth it for the sleep benefit dummies bring. It took 7 weeks worth of diligent daily persistence to get my youngest to accept a dummy. No surprises from me that within a week of her realising the comfort sucking a dummy brings, night feeds stopped naturally.

Is the Snuzpod one of those bedside cribs? I think a baby needs more space than a crib. You can remove one side off a full sized cot and butt it up to your bed. This gives much more space for you to physically lean into the cot, wrap yourself around baby and sooth to sleep while in the cot itself. You can even breastfeed her in the cot. It becomes an extension of your bed.

I find that the dummy and cuddling into the bedside cot helps settle baby into their own space. Cuddle up, constantly reinserting dummy as needed. Then slowly over time start extracting yourself into your own space.

For daytime naps (especially when you have other children who need you) I believe you cannot beat foot bouncing a bouncy chair and re-inserting dummy as needed. Bouncy chairs and dummies are a mothers saviour in my view! ( I'm a mum of four)

[BiscuitBeast]

Thanks for taking time to share your experiences.

I shall persevere with getting her to take a dummy and have a look at getting her cot next to my bed.

She has a bouncy chair which she'll sit in for short periods. Hopefully if i can crack the dummy then she'll be happy to stay in the chair longer.

Thanks again