Not sure what I'm after really advice, experience. On the one hand I think maybe this is just part and parcel of babyhood but I seem to be surrounded by people whose babies sleep in the day and can for example go to baby/toddler group or out for coffee and stay for a couple of hours without baby getting totally overtired.
As a newborn she was literally a dream sleeper then hit the 4 month regression at 3 months and things have gone up and down regularly since then but struggling to say it is consistently any better now.
Nighttimes she is up a couple of times to feed which is unideal but manageable and USUALLY relatively easy to settle until it gets to 4/5am.
My main problem is daytime sleep. It is getting harder and harder to settle her during the day, the main thing that works is lying down in a moving pushchair, sometimes she will feed to sleep or be rocked to sleep although this takes about 30mins. She then wakes up after 30-40 mins and is then often tired again about an hour later which after she's been changed and fed leaves precious little time for anything else.
Increasingly she's objecting more and more to the idea of going to sleep and frequently screaming. This is the main thing that's upsetting me. I hear all the criticism of controlled crying and feel like a terrible mum for not being able to soothe her but literally nothing seems to work. If I pick her up she writhes around and goes rigid and continues screaming, she's a big 8mo and obviously only getting bigger so hard to contain. I was sitting her up in the pram which would calm her but then she'd scream again on lying down and the whole thing just went on and on and on. I've now started carrying on walking and she eventually stops and sleeps but this can take half an hour. Feel absolutely awful about this. Don't know what else to do? I've read the no cry sleep solution a few months ago which promised no crying but baby cries regardless of what I do or don't do!!! We had been trying the basic method of putting baby down slightly more awake each night but at some point she started resisting and we're now back to rocking completely to sleep and then putting down. Anything else and she wakes up, wriggles around and eventually progresses to screaming until we pick up.
Today's pattern has been
19 ish put down to bed asleep
23 woke up, settled with dummy
00:30 woke up, settled with breastfeed
4-5ish woke up, breastfeed settled eventually after much rocking
6.30 woke up, husband got up
7.30 looked tired and irritable so he took her for a walk. She screamed so he sat her up but she screamed everytime he lay her down, they came back about 8.30 as he had to go to work.
9.15-9.45 managed to feed to sleep
Dashed off to toddler group when she woke up. In all honesty she started looking tired and irritable from 10:30 onwards but we stayed until 12 (in which time she had lunch, nappy change, got ready to go etc).
12-12.45 slept in pram on way to supermarket, woke up as we were nearly there. Went to sleep quite easily.
Did shop, sat in cafe and she started playing happily on the floor.
13.45 getting tired, intermittent screaming. Attempted to give her food in case she was hungry (nearly 3 hours since lunch) but she spat it out.
14 ish left supermarket and she screamed blue murder for 30 minutes in pram. Fell asleep as we were turning into our road.
Continued sleeping for 30 mins once home.
Woke just after 3.
By 15.30 already tired and irritable.
Attempted breastfeed, managed one side then she screamed the place down. Sat up still screaming, cuddled, inconsolable.
15.50 lay her in cot with comforter and Ewan the sheep as I couldn't cope anymore and she screamed on and off but had settled for a few mins at 16 when husband arrived home at which point she started off again.
I had to go out and got back at 17.30 at which point he had managed 15 mins downstairs with her asleep. 30 minutes solid screaming in his arms and then sleeping whilst in his arms but waking and screaming on being put down, repeat a few times.
She woke up about 17.45 and ate small amount of tea.
Looked a bit quietly tired but played. Became irritable again around 18.15 and I did pjs, breastfeed, rock to sleep.
Sorry this has turned into a long ramble. The main thing I'm upset about is the screaming and feeling really really guilty leaving her but not knowing what else to do, is this psychologically scarring her for life?
Also just feel like my day is one long attempt to get baby to sleep. I walk miles, in itself not really a problem but even after walking say an hour to meet friends with babies it feels like it's always me who has the tired baby whilst the others seem to stay happier much longer.
How long could your babies stay awake for in the day at 8 months?
When I told SIL that she only sleeps for 30-40mins at a time she instantly said 'but that's no good you can't get anything done' and I felt like I'm doing something wrong because she doesn't sleep for longer periods so that I can do the housework while she's asleep. Generally if she's asleep in the day I'm either trapped underneath her or pushing the pram so also feel guilty about not doing more housework whilst I'm on mat leave.
Everyone I speak to seems to be finding things are getting easier, babies are starting to sleep through the night etc. Aware that my perception is a bit skewed as we had it easier than most in the beginning but starting to feel a bit alone and nobody else seems to have a baby that gets as tired as mine!!!! So anything you can say to help, or just sympathise would be appreciated.
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8 months, is this normal? Feeling awful about baby crying
13 replies
penguinpurple · 26/05/2016 21:51
OP posts:
VocationalGoat ·
26/05/2016 22:11
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VocationalGoat ·
28/05/2016 07:10
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