14 week old sleep issues

[Casablanca78]

Hi.
My 14 week old has never been a great sleeper but I was really hoping it would start to improve by this stage. He rarely does longer than 2 hour stretches at night. The broken sleep is killing me and all my NCT friends seem to be getting 5-8 hour stretches from their babies now and I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong.
He sleeps next to me in the Moses basket although when it gets to very early hours I usually give up even trying to resettle him and have him in with me.
I'm breastfeeding and we've been giving a bottle of formula (even tried hungry baby one recently) at about 11ish but it has made no difference, he'll take 4oz or so but still wakes up two hours or less later. He feeds at every waking. Hard to say if genuinely hungry or for comfort but usually takes a decent feed each time. He's a fussy feeder during the day so I'm worried he's in the habit of taking most of his calories at night as he definitely takes a lot more during night feeds.
Any advice, tips etc. much appreciated. I have an older child who is at school and she gets up around 6.30 so there's no chance really of laying in or sleeping in the day.
Thanks in advance for any replies.

[Tumtitum]

I don't have much advice I'm afraid only to say that I have a 14 week old who used to be a good sleeper but it currently doing the same as yours!! I've noticed lots of threads so it seems to be quite common and maybe to do with a growth spurt/developmental leap?? That's what I'm hoping anyway! I'm currently letting mine have lots of long daytime naps in the sling in the hope that sleep really does beget sleep!! :) good luck and hope you get some good advice :)

[Coconut0il]

No real advice I'm afraid, my DS2 is 9 months and still wakes at least once a night. We're co sleeping and I always feed him back to sleep. I know it's not always hunger, but its the quickest way to get him back to sleep.
You're not doing anything wrong, I really think it's luck of the draw if you get a good sleeper or not. Slowly DS2 is getting better, he'll sleep through eventually. I try not to listen when people tell me their babies sleep 7-7!
When he was younger I would often go to bed early with him as he had his best sleep during the first part of the night.

[Diddlydokey]

A few suggestions

1. Leave him with your partner and only feed him 3/4 hourly. He should be able to go for that long, at least. If you can go to the spare room for a few nights it might break the habit. Settle with cuddles.
   

1. Failing that, move his basket as far from you as possible, whilst still in the same room.
   

1. Get yourself some earplugs so that you're not jumping the gun. Babies are noisy sleepers and you might be responding too soon. You will hear them if you need to.
   

1. A dummy. Try a cherry one if they're not keen otherwise.

[Diddlydokey]

You're not doing anything wrong by the way. Some babies just feed more often. That and new mums seem to lie, if only to themselves.

[Nousername2015]

OP you're not alone. I also seem to be the only one out of my NCT group not getting solid 8 hour stretches too so I can totally understand how you are feeling

[unimagmative13]

Your not doing anything wrong.
I was the one getting longer stretches but it isn't the case now. My NCT mums are now getting 12 hours after months of sleep deprivation.

We choose not to discuss sleep its best that way.

Maybe try moving the Moses basket away a bit from the bed incase he can smell you? Not sure if it's true but my BF friend did this and it helped.

[Macdaddylonglegs]

Casablanca I'm am going through and have been through exactly the same as you. I have a dd1 who is now 2.5yrs, she was a terrible sleeper at the beginning and it drove me nuts listening to my NCT buddies talking about their 5-8hour stretches of unbroken sleep. It made me think I was doing it all wrong or their was something wrong with my baby. The exhaustion and baby comparing led me to attempting sleep training at 4 months. We tried all sorts of things including CC which I now regret, I think she was just too young. We gave up the training after a few weeks as nothing worked anyway. I accepted that she would only take naps in the sling and got her into a good daytime routine first. At about 6 months I was completely fed up of her still waking so often. She was ebf but I said to dh, here's a bottle please don't wake me I need some unbroken sleep. He went to her every time she woke with a bottle and by the end of 3 nights she'd stopped waking. No crying, no distress but she was now sleeping 7-7 and she's done it ever since except when teething. It made it clear it was boob comfort and not hunger that woke her and once that stopped she stopped waking. It was also at about 6 months I could get her to reliably nap in the cot and not the sling. I'm now going through the same with ds2 who is 15weeks, he lured me into a false sense of security by sleeping really well for 1st few weeks but is now waking every 1-2hous after midnight.

I suppose I don't have any magic cures, as clearly I'm struggling with the same issues a second time round but what I would say is comparing babies and sleep patterns with friends babies is really not helpful and leads to more distress and disappointment with your own situation. If it makes you feel any better my NCT chums who got good sleep initially often ended up with different sleep problems a bit further down the line - there will be obstacles for us all. Maybe when you're ready/to give you a break dh could take over feeding at night. Also I know it will be said a million times and might not make you feel any better but things will get better (I have to try to remind myself this daily). 4 months is still very small and things will change over the coming weeks. Good luck and lots of sympathy. I definitely know how you feel.

[Casablanca78]

Thank you Macdaddylonglegs for taking the time to reply and nice to know I'm not alone. Agree I need to break the comfort feeding on the boob as he genuinely can't be hubgry that often throughout the night. OH has done a couple of night shifts with a bottle to give me a break but he works long hours including Saturday's so can't do it very often. I've no idea how to get him back to sleep without the boob!

[Casablanca78]

We've moved ds out of his Moses basket and in to a cot (still in our room) now to give him more room but it's not made much of a difference.