4 month sleep regression, still bad at 5.5 months

(16 Posts)
graysor Sun 15-May-16 11:49:20

The 4 month sleep regression hit us hard and for a while I was doing my best to just ride it out. But now at 5 and a half months dd's sleep at night is worse than ever and I'm really starting to struggle.

We have a solid bedtime routine, same since about 12 weeks. We have quiet time, bath, book, close curtains and put red night light and white noise on then feed to sleep in bed and transfer to the bedside crib, usually without too much trouble.

Then she wakes up an hour after going to sleep throughout the night. Sometimes she goes back to sleep fairly easily after a quick feed but increasingly often it is v hard to resettle her. I try feeding, holding, rocking etc but it can take an hour or more to get her to sleep , and several attempts to put her down without waking and crying.

I've tried cosleeping but that doesn't help. She wakes just as often, is just as hard to resettle, and I get even less sleep because I'm so uncomfortable.

On top of this she wakes for the day at about 5 am and can't be resettled at all.

How did you get through it? Please tell me it will get better!

Skiptonlass Sun 15-May-16 11:54:21

The thing with the four month regression is that it's a permanent change in sleep architecture
Our little one is the same. Up at five and half the night... Up to six months I could at least put in down awake but now he won't even do that. It's exhausting and you have my sympathy. Nothing we have done has made any difference

Skiptonlass Sun 15-May-16 12:02:41

I co sleep now because it was the path of least resistance.i don't sleep well but it's better than hauling him in and out of the cot all night, which my back can't deal with.
It's very, very tough. We've tried several different things including controlled crying - that didn't work at all sad
We are trying to give each other blocks of rest when we can and that helps hugely. I'm trying to get him to nap better in the day as well - that's hit and miss but can't hurt.
By 5.5 mine had started to get very upset if I left his sight and he's still like that now so I think this is ( like everything) 'just' a phase... It's pretty tough when you're in he middle of it though. I'm hoping once her can crawl he will wear himself out more and now that it's finally stopped bloody snowing we can get more outdoor time..

CopperPot Sun 15-May-16 12:07:48

Same here, sorry. It's absolutely shit and frustrating as hell. I was up nearly every two hours from 9pm and awake at 6am.

CopperPot Sun 15-May-16 12:08:43

And if another mother tells me her kid is sleeping through at same age I will kick them.

I truly believe some children are better sleepers than others and it's nothing you are doing.

Twinklestar2 Sun 15-May-16 12:12:47

Mine did this and it was hell! He settled down again when I gave him food and he was fully on formula which was around 6 months. Hang on in there!!

lcoc2015 Sun 15-May-16 12:38:12

I am starting to see a slight improvement at 6 months instead of waking every 2 hrs for a feed she is now going 3.5 hours which makes a huge difference. I think she just matured ever so slightly which has allowed this. At the same time for all naps and sleep i now lay her on the bed beside me and turn my nack to her. She fusses and cries but will eventually settle herself. Once asleep i then transfer her to the cot. Next up is to get her to settle herself for naps in cot during the day.

CallMeMousie Sun 15-May-16 13:19:24

Yep, similar here. We are no longer feeding to sleep at bedtime - I feed, change and read a story then put him down awake. Sometimes he cries and sometimes not, if he does cry I do shush pat and he usually settles in a few minutes. We did the same with his big brother and it did help - know they're not all the same but here's hoping!!

CopperPot Sun 15-May-16 14:01:48

My dd would literally scream her lungs out if I put her down awake. How tf do people manage it?!

CallMeMousie Sun 15-May-16 14:29:29

CopperPot - DS1 was the same, a very high needs baby. We pushed on with shush pat and occasional cuddles because he was needing more and more to get to sleep - food, jiggles, manic rocking. I just snapped and decided enough was enough and he could scream if he wanted - I was comforting him, just not the way he wanted. It was hard at first but paid off. DS2 is luckily much easier and sometimes just drops off on his own, he's been a revelation!

graysor Sun 15-May-16 15:31:27

Thanks all for the sympathy and solidarity! It's heartening to hear we're not alone.

Skipton - I totally agree that there's nothing to be done about it. We've dabbled in a bit of shush pat, pick up put down etc with no effect whatsoever. As lcoc says, hopefully things will gradually improve with time.

Copperplate - putting down awake is totally baffling to me too! I think those who have only had 'good sleepers ' find our kind of situation as baffling as we find them with their 'put them down awake, just pat their tummy if they start to fuss' approach. I can't even start to put dd in her crib without full on crying.

Callmemousie - when you did shush pat with ds1 how long would he carry on with the crying while you shush patting? My Dd will go for 10 mins just getting more and more angry, at which time I give up and pick her up for the manic rocking, jigging, feeding. Usually I give up well before. Just wondering if others just push on through?

CallMeMousie Sun 15-May-16 16:40:12

I never got the putting down awake either - when DS2 started dropping off on his own I was totally freaked out! DS would cry for about 45 minute at first but it reduced in time quite quickly and by 6 months we would give him a kiss and walk out and he's been great at bedtime ever since. I'm not really into controlled crying etc but he was a shocking sleeper from birth (45 min sleeps all night some nights) and we were beside ourselves. One night DH came down from getting him to sleep and had sweated through a t-shirt from 30 minutes of manic jiggling and I just snapped and decided if he was going to grumble through 30 minutes of jiggling then he could cry through half an hour of pats instead. Not for everyone but it worked for us in the long term.

TangerineTrees Sun 15-May-16 17:26:00

Urgh, same situation here. Sorry to hear you're all struggling with the same thing (it's hell) but relieved not to have yet more smug mums shove their "we had an awful night, he woke up once at 4am!" comments down my throat. Tempted with sleep training but unconvinced it'll work without winding him up, even my HV suggested just rubbing his tummy when he wakes - clearly she was talking about another baby who won't go into meltdown unless he's practically walzed around the house til he nods off!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 15-May-16 17:32:08

Tbh I think 5am waking for the day is normal with babies,so are restless nights.

It's shit brew

Mov1ngOn Sun 15-May-16 17:35:28

Was normal here with both babies for over a year. I'm still amazed by people who Did Things whilst they had babies but often they actually had slept!!

We Co slept with the first. The second had sleep apnea and finally sleeps more than 2 hours in a go at 4 years old...

CopperPot Sun 15-May-16 18:15:29

I totally agree with the needing more to get to sleep. I used to rock ds (now 3.5) for 45 mins! I snapped one day and did sleep training at 10 months and he slept much better. Took two weeks though as I didn't do cry it out.
I'll definitely sleep train dd if she needs it but not this young.

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